Paulo Costanzo Quotes

Ryan One: you can't do it. You just can't. This isn't a personal attack towards you. I'm just saying that no man can do it. It goes against nature. The male was biologically designed to spread his seed. You're gonna piss off the seeds, Matt! It goes against science! You wanna be the guy who goes against science?

Matt And two?

Ryan And two: are you out of your fucking mind? You're the guy who can't finish a sandwich, you think you can go 40 days? Did your brother put you up to this?

Matt No. In fact, he's been about as supportive as you are. Look, this doesn't affect you in any way.

Ryan Oh, this affects everybody...

Ryan This is a photocopy of Candy's ass? You're gonna call her, right?

Ryan Do you like her?

Matt Yeah.

Ryan So why do you not wanna fuck her?

Barry Can we please feed Mitch now?

Rubin No. If he overeats, he could die.

Barry So? It would be worth it.

Matt Have you ever noticed a crack in my ceiling?

Ryan Dude, you're action packed with issues.

Ryan Do you know how many hours I spent looking for for my "Temple of Poon" tape? One. That is a long time to be looking for porn, Matt. What the fuck is going on?

Ryan Dude, you've got to tell her. Seriously. You can pass off two dates without a kiss as being old-fashioned. You go three and you're a homo.

Ryan Okay, I know you have some Nicole issues right now, but...

Matt I do not have any Nicole issues.

Ryan Hi, I'm one of the many pictures of Nicole that still infest Ryan and Matt's apartment after six months." I mean she's hot, Matt. I don't mind looking at her. All I'm saying is, you have issues.