Memorable Quotes from Peter Vack
6 quotesMailing List Confusion Among Friends
Harper
So, why haven't I gotten ] lately?
[[w:sexting|a dick pic]
Benji
Oh! Interesting! I tho- ah, I was under the impression that you wanted off that mailing list.
Harper
How else am I gonna go to sleep at night
Benji
I don't know, can your Dad phone fuck goes to sleep?
Harper
That's disgusting.
Benji
Build a little treehouse so your mom can't see you licking his asshole?
Harper
No. I've never had a treehouse.
Benji
I know. Because your Dad doesn't love you.
Ashley
Do you have, like, a different type or something?
Allie
I'm sorry. Is he your boyfriend?
John
No, he's not.
Ashley
Well, okay. You don't have to say it like that. Like it's not so black and white.
John
You're not dating Ben-... You're not dating Benji.
Ashley
That's your perspective.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate Over Pill Distribution Among Friends
Harper
I want four pills.
Benji
No, you should really only take one of these.
Harper
Yeah. There are four people, so it's one per person.
Benji
You two and who else?
Harper
You don't know em.
Benji
Are you really trying to get me to give you molly so you can con some fucking assholes into sleeping with you?
Harper
No, all I'm asking for is four pills.
Benji
Okay, fine. I will give these to you, but you have to come somewhere with me on the 31st.
Harper
Where?
Benji
I don't know yet.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Urgency in the Face of Discomfort
John
Ben, Harper?
Benji
What?
John
It's getting buggy.
Allie
Yeah, Harper. It's really time to go.
Harper
All right, let's go. Bye, you guys.
Ashley
Bye Harper. Be safe in Liberia.
Allie
Thank you!
John
Post!
Ashley
Post! Post on Facebook so we know.
Allie
Bye Ashley.
John
Portugal.
Allie
Portugal.
Ashley
She thinks you're, like, gonna fuck her again.
Allie
Thanks. It's Liberia.
Ashley
I knew that would happen.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Friendships and Unexpected Plans
Allie
Oh, my God. That was so intense. I'm still shaking.
Harper
You know, I'm not going to be there for you when you're in Liberia.
Allie
Wait, where you going? It's this way.
Harper
We have to stop by the park and see Benji.
Allie
Maybe we can just skip the molly. I don't think I can handle that right now.
Harper
Then don't do it.
Allie
Is his harem of bitches gonna be there?
Harper
Probably. They spend every second of their lives trying to fuck him.
Ashley
Benji, I feel like you've been on that same page for like... like four hours.
[''To Benji looking at phone'']
Grant
Are we distracting you, Benji?
Benji
I'm dissecting the sentences. I'm sort of figuring out the way it works.
Ashley
No, I get it. It's full broth, I get it. Do you want bug spray?
Grant
No, no, no, no. That- that literally smells like a cunt.
[''Grant laughs'']
Ashley
That's so funny. I was thinking about how I used to eat out women. And how at the time, it seemed like such a good idea, but...
John
How's this, Benji?
Ashley
... in retrospect, it's like, why did I ever actually do that?
John
Absolutely.
Harper
Sup.
Ashley
Oh my god, hi cutie! Hey.
Harper
Hi little baby boy!
Ashley
How are you, Harpy?
Harper
I'm good. How are you? Love your red socks. Are those to make your legs look longer?
Ashley
Yeah, they're just slimming, like your romper.
Harper
Oh, right.
Ashley
Your romper's slimming. It's funnny that you're here, I had a dream that you died.
Harper
Oh my god, how's your family? Are they still bankrupt or is that...
Ashley
Yeah
Benji
What?
Ashley
Don't... you're gonna like, go over talk to her privately. Hey, how are you, I'm Ashley.
[''Benji walks along with Harper''; ''To Allie'']
Allie
Hi, we've met.
Grant
I'm Grant.
Allie
Actually, we've all met.
John
When?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion on Commitment and Exit Strategies
Benji
So, are you finally excited to get rid of that dead weight?
Harper
She's not going anywhere. She'll drop out the day before as usual.
Benji
Yeah, that's true, you girls are pretty expert at exit strategies.
Harper
Fuck you. No, I'm not. She's the one that's like that.
Benji
What is with this hat?
Harper
Do you like it?
Benji
Not really, are you like hat person now? You're becoming half a person on me?
Harper
Does that mean a person that wears hats?
Benji
Yeah, are you that person?
Harper
Today.
Benji
Okay.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Beach Plans and Light Banter
Benji
So, what have you girls got going on today?
Harper
Going to the beach.
Benji
Oh nice! You sure you can afford to take a day off from... from doing from nothing?
Harper
Fuck you, "doing nothing".
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.