Memorable Quotes from Phil Silvers
3 quotesFear of the Escaped Lunatic
Otto Meyer
Oh, no! It's that lunatic! The one who escaped from the asylum! He's a homicidal maniac! He's got a hate complex! Go away, I'm not your nurse!
[spotting an angry Pike approaching]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Urgent Request for Tire Assistance
Otto Meyer
Fellas. I'm glad you're here. Look, I need your help. Here's what happened. I had this blowout. I think there's a spare in the back. It may be a little flat. Take a look at it will you kid? Is there an airport anyplace around here? Look, if the spare is flat don't bother fixing it. Gimme a new tire, all right? You ain't got a new tire? Then you'll have to fix the spare. But don't look at me. Move it, will you kid? You, you could be gassing up while he's working. What is it a staring contest? Come on! Move! Move, will you kid? Come on!
[honking the car horn as he pulls into the Ray & Irwin Garage; clapping his hands over and over]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Blame and Greed in a Chaotic Pursuit
Benjamin
It's all your fault, It's your fault right from beginning to end!
[to Culpeper]
Col. Hawthorne
You know, even for a policeman, your behavior was ruddy outrageous!
Sylvester
Yeah, you could have taken a fair share like the rest of us, but no! You just had to go and grab up the whole scene, baby.
Dingy Bell
We had 350,000 bucks right in our hands.
Melville Crump
14 into $350,000...
Dingy Bell
Oh, shut up!
[groans]
Otto Meyer
I wish I knew what they're going to do to us. But no matter what happens to us... ...what happens to you, I hope will be worse!
[turns to Culpeper]
Culpeper
I don't think you have to worry about that. My wife is divorcing me; my mother in-law is suing me for damages; my daughter is petitioning the court to get her name changed; my pension has been revoked, and the ONLY reason, that you ten idiots will very likely get off lightly, is because the judge will have me up there...to throw the book at!
2nd Cabbie
Awww...that's tough!
[laughs along with the 3rd Cabbie who smiles to Culpeper]
Culpeper
I'd like to think that sometime, maybe 10 or 20 years from now, there will be something that I could laugh at, anything.
Mrs. Marcus
Now see here, you idiots, it's all your fault, because if you hadn't...!
[yelling at the bandaged men; slips on the banana peel and falls back-first on the floor]
Sylvester
Mama!
[horrified]
Mrs. Marcus
Don't you dare touch me! Get away from me! Let me go! Leave me alone...!!!
[yelling while being put on the stretcher and taken away by the doctors]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.