Raini RodriguezQuotes

Maya Blart: Holy crawfish!

Maya Blart: If we live, I'm not going to UCLA.

Maya Blart: [from trailer] Come on, Dad. It's a vacation. Try to enjoy it.

Maya: [reading ad] Okay, next question: "Tell us about yourself.

Paul: Let's see. I know a lot about sharks.

Margaret: [types something in] Let me stop you right there. "Well-built, and a great hugger.

Veck: Hey, Blart? I was hoping we could get an ETA of when you're going to give up.

Paul: [snarls] How about now? I'll meet you on the corner of "ne" and "ver". Yeah. You heard me. NEVER!

Maya: [happily] All right, Dad.

Kent: [sees Veck handcuffed; pulls out gun] Blart! Oh, very impressive; Taking down an assailant without a gun. I hope you don't mind if I use one.

Paul Blart: [Veck chuckles] What? Oh, no.

Kent: Oh, yeah.

Paul: I guess it's off to the Cayman Islands, then, huh?

Kent: Soon as I get my money.

Paul: [shows cell phone] Yeah, well, you'll be needing this.

Maya: Just give it to him, Dad.

Paul: [to Maya; to Veck; smashes cell phone] Oh, I will. SUCK ON THAT!!!

Kent: [talking to police radio] Okay. Situation update.

Police Radio: We have seven assailants in custody, sir.

Kent: [to police radio] Great. Nobody talks to em, but me.

Police Radio: Yes, sir.

Kent: [to Paul Blart; gun gets shot of his hand; He and Howard look in shock at Chief Brooks who shot him with Howard's gun. Howard retrieves his gun and cuffs Kent] You see, jackass, I don't need the phone. Cause I got all the access codes written on their arms. Now, if I kill you three, there'll be no witnesses. And since everybody thinks this was a bank rob-- OW!

Howard: I got a newsflash for ya. Your flight's been cancelled.

Brooks: [looking at his notebook of comebacks] That's better than anything I got.