Rick DucommunQuotes

Art Weingartner: [about the Klopeks, after burning their home and getting Ray injured in the process; is cut off as Ray starts ranting at him] They may think they're off the hook, but they're not. No, no, they're not. Are they, Ray? No, go ahead, tell em. Tell em. We got the goods on em, don't we? Oh yeah, y'know? You know, someday they're gonna dig up the back of that yard and they're gonna find the rest of the skeleton to go with that femur. Oh, it might not be Walter, but it's gonna be some poor tortured bast--

Art Weingartner: I think the message to, uh, psychos, fanatics, murderers, nutcases all over the world is, uh, "do NOT mess with suburbanites". Because, uh, frankly we're just not gonna take it any more. Ya know, we're not gonna be content to look after our lawns and wax our cars, paint out houses. We're out to get them, Don, we are out to get them.

Art Weingartner: I'm telling you these people are Satanists, As I sit here, they are Satanists, Look, look, the world is full of these kind of things - black masses, mutilations, Mutilations! The incubus, the succubus - I'm tellin you, Walter was a human sacrifice.

Art Weingartner: I can see the news report now. "They were a quiet family, kept pretty much to themselves, No one would have ever suspected them of foul play.

Art Weingartner: Now they know that we know that they know that we know.

Art Weingartner: I want to kill everyone, Satan is good, Satan is our pal.

Phil: It's the same thing your whole life. "Clean up your room! Stand up straight! Pick up your feet! Take it like a man! Be nice to your sister! Don't mix beer and wine, ever! Oh yeah, don't drive on the railway tracks!

Gus: [sobering up] Well, Phil, that's one I happen to agree with.

Phil: [driving into the rail tracks; a train approaches] I don't know, Gus...Sometimes, you just have to take the big chances. I'm betting he's going to swerve first...

Phil: What if there were no tomorrow?

Gus: No tomorrow? That would mean there would be no consequences. There would be no hangovers. We could do whatever we wanted!

Phil: That's true. We could do whatever we want.

Cindy: He murdered all my friends!

Cindy's Dad: Yeah! And the sick bastard planted drugs all over the house!

Cindy's Dad: What's going on in there? Ah, ow, ow, Daddy's head is stuck, unstick Daddy's head, ow...

Cindy: Dad, can you knock?

Cindy's Dad: Knock? I thought I heard screaming in here!

Cindy: No, no, you didn't, Dad.

Cindy's Dad: Oh, it must have been that crack I smoked earlier, I guess.

Cindy: Yeah.

Cindy's Dad: Look, I gotta leave town for a couple days, okay? No big deal, it's just that you know, that new business that I started with those plumbing guys.

Cindy: Oh, you mean Uncle Escobar!

Cindy's Dad: Yeah, yeah, that's right. Well, there's a problem, some money went missing and apparently some legs are gonna get broken, eh, it's just better if I lay low for a couple days. Now, if the cops raid the place...

Cindy: I never heard of you.

Cindy's Dad: And don't forget...

Cindy: To flush your stash.

Cindy's Dad: Oh, you are my little girl, I love you so much. And I left you a little something in the coffee can.

Cindy: Dad...

Cindy's Dad: But, remember you have to step on it before you sell it. Now what are you gonna cut it with?

Cindy: Umm, baking...

Cindy's Dad: Baking soda, not baking powder. Cause baking powder guys will have muffins growing out of their noses.

Cindy: [giggles] Dad...

Cindy's Dad: You love that joke, honey. You've loved that joke since you were 2 years old. Okay, well...

Cindy: Have a good trip.

Cindy's Dad: Bye.

Cindy: Bye.