Memorable Quotes from Ricky Gervais
3 quotesMisunderstanding a Historical Figure's Identity
Larry Daley
Ah — ].
[[Teddy Roosevelt]
Rebecca
Yes. A great visionary.
Larry Daley
Yes, definitely. He was our 4th president, right?
Rebecca
26th.
Larry Daley
26th.
Dr. McPhee
Please don't touch the exhibits! I mean, riffraff. Mrs. Hutman, I cannot tolerate this type of chaos. I mean, this is a museum, not a... Do you know what museum means? It doesn't mean, "Ooh, Daddy, it's a big tyrannosaurus thing. Can I touch its leg?" No! It... Work it out, please.
Rebecca
Will do, sir.
Dr. McPhee
Thank you.
Rebecca
Dr. McPhee, our museum director.
Larry Daley
Hmm, seems like a fun guy.
Dr. McPhee
Control your young, please! Can we? Oh!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Night Guard's Return to Duty
Reginald
Hey, Larry.
Larry Daley
So, I was thinking maybe I'll give it one more night.
Cecil
I'm glad you came around. Welcome back.
Dr. McPhee
You! New night guard, here, now.
Larry Daley
What's up?
Dr. McPhee
What's up?" Oh. Well, take a walk with me, and I'll show you, Mr. "What's up". Come on. So, would you kindly do me the favor of explaining this?
Larry Daley
Ooh. Okay. I'm guessing and I'm just spitballing here but looks like that Roman dude got cocky and climbed over into the Wild West. And that cowboy knows the Roman dude wants to take over his territory, so he rounded up a posse and put him in the stockade.
Dr. McPhee
Let's all laugh at me, the comedy night guard. "No", is the answer. Sarcasm back at ya with your... humor box. I wasn't laughing. I was pretending to laugh, if that's what you want, some sort of battle of humor. Do you?
[laughs sarcastically]
Larry Daley
No. I don't want a... No, I don't want a battle of humor.
Dr. McPhee
No, you don't, because it would be a bloodbath. Nothing funny about Little Bighorn. No. I find it about as funny as a "fancist". It's not funny. Okay? And I will not stand for this type of blatant... If I'm not clear, tell me. Am I clear?
Larry Daley
Yeah.
Dr. McPhee
Yeah.
Larry Daley
Hey, Cecil. You got an extra copy of that instruction manual?
Cecil
Oh, no, I'm afraid not, Larry. Listen, I'll tell you what you do. Read some books. Brush up on your history. Helped me a lot when I first started out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication and Responsibility in the Workplace
Larry Daley
Excuse me? Mr. McPhee? Excuse me, Mr. McPhee? Can I talk to you about this, please, sir?
Dr. McPhee
What?
Larry Daley
I know that I screwed up, but I think I finally understand how to do this job.
Dr. McPhee
You obviously don't. That's the point.
Larry Daley
No, I didn't, but now I do. Really, Mr. McPhee, if you just give me one...
Dr. McPhee
Doctor.
Larry Daley
Dr. McPhee, just... Can you please give me one more night?
Dr. McPhee
One more night.
Larry Daley
Okay, thank you.
Dr. McPhee
And if anything is the tiniest after your shift... Because...
Larry Daley
Got it.
Dr. McPhee
Okay?
Larry Daley
Okay.
Dr. McPhee
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...
Larry Daley
Shame on me. Fool me... Shame on me.
Dr. McPhee
You.
Larry Daley
Fool me twice... Got it.
Dr. McPhee
Take it or leave it.
Larry Daley
Okay, thank you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.