Nuns on the Run - Desperate Plans Amid Dangerous Threats
Charlie McManus:
Great. Now if Case doesn't kill us the Triads will
Brian Hope:
You know what we ought to do? Steal the money for ourselves
Charlie McManus:
Oh brilliant. Then we'll have Case trying to gun us down and The Triads trying to chop us up.
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Nuns on the Run - Faith and Practicality in a Crisis
Charlie McManus:
I think God's gonna get us out of this alive
Brian Hope:
Well I hope you won't be relying on him totally. Cause we've still gotta break into that bleeding cupboard
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Nuns on the Run - Reasons for Concern in Nuns on the Run
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Nuns on the Run - Discussion of Death and Weight Training
Brian Hope:
What did he die of?
Casey:
He wanted to work for somebody else
Charlie McManus:
Oh natural causes
Casey:
I want you take him for some special weight training
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Nuns on the Run - Disguises for Unnoticed Passage
Charlie McManus:
Why?
Brian hope:
Because we need to look just like them if we want to pass un-noticed
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Nuns on the Run - A Warning Against Returning Home
Charlie McManus:
Don't come back here. Case may send Abbot and Morley to find you love Brian." "Don't come back here" is a bit like saying "Do not read this note
Brian Hope:
Well you write it then
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Nuns on the Run - A Humorous Reminder of Personal Belongings
Charlie McManus: [teaching Brian how to cross himself]
Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.
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Nuns on the Run - The Trinity Explained Through Humor
Charlie McManus:
You've got the Father, the Son and the holy ghost. But the three are one - like a shamrock, my old priest used to say. "Three leaves, but one leaf." Now, the father sent down the son, who was love, and then when he went away, he sent down the holy spirit, who came down in the form of a...
Brian Hope:
You told me already - a ghost.
Charlie McManus:
No, a dove.
Brian Hope:
The dove was a ghost?
Charlie McManus:
No, the ghost was a dove.
Brian Hope:
Let me try and summarize this: God is his son. And son is his God. But his son moonlights as a holy ghost, a holy spirit, and a dove. And they all send each other, even though they're all one and the same thing.
Charlie McManus:
Got it.
Brian Hope:
What?
Charlie McManus:
You really could be a nun!
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Nuns on the Run - The Complexity of Explaining the Trinity
Brian Hope:
Explain the Trinity.
Charlie McManus:
Hmmm... well, it's a bit of a bugger.
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Nuns on the Run - Debating Church Rules and Modern Changes
Brian Hope:
I thought you were supposed to be eating fish on a Friday.
Charlie McManus:
No, you're way out of date. Vatican II said we don't have to do that anymore.
Brian Hope:
Who's "Vatican II"? The deputy pope?
Charlie McManus:
Ignoramus. You can't have a deputy pope. The pope's infallible; you can't be deputy-infallible!
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Nuns on the Run - The Commercialization of Faith and Need
Brian Hope:
Look, Charlie. Some con men sell life insurance. The church sells afterlife insurance. It's brilliant! Everyone thinks you might need it, and no one can prove you don't.
Charlie McManus:
The church isn't selling anything, Brian.
Brian Hope:
Oh! Well, if the church isn't selling, how did it get to be so rich? Just remember, wherever there's a deep human need, there's more money to be made.
Charlie McManus:
You think so?
Brian Hope:
Of course, look at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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Nuns on the Run - Debating Celibacy and Original Sin in Christianity
Father Seamus:
Tell me. Is celibacy just as difficult for a woman as it is for a man?
Charlie McManus:
I wouldn't know... I must come clean, though, I, I had a man in my bed last night. All right. You see, the way I see it, sex is allowed.
Father Seamus:
Ah, ha... ha!
Charlie McManus:
No. No, it's the doctrine of original sin. You see, we're all born sinful, except for Jesus. who was perfect of course. And he was sent to save us. But how could he save us unless we're sinning? So we have to go on sinning in order to be saved and go to Heaven. That's how Christianity works. That's why it suits so many people.
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Nuns on the Run - Value of a Night's Rest
Charlie McManus:
What does she do?
Brian Hope:
She sleeps for 10 quid.
Charlie McManus:
Only 10 quid? Why, I would give her at least 50!
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From Hell - Fear of Becoming a Forgotten Memory
Peter Godley:
You know who you're going to turn into. That sad old man in the pub that no one wants to sit beside because after a few drinks he'll start talking about the girl that got away.
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From Hell - Londoner with Sympathy for Others
Peter Godley:
Your typical Londoner, imbued with Christian sympathy for his fellow man — or fellow whore, in this case.
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From Hell - Address Confirmation in "From Hell
Peter Godley: [[w:From Hell letter|"From Hell."]
] Well, at least they got the address right.
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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - Consequences of Magic and School Regulations
Mafalda Hopkirk: [voiceover through letter]
Dear Mr. Potter, the Ministry has received intelligence that at 6:23 this evening, you performed the Patronus Charm in the presence of a Muggle. As a clear violation of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery, you are hereby expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hoping you are well, Mafalda Hopkirk.
Molly Weasley: [annoyed to Fred and George as they appear behind her, startling her]
Just because you're allowed to use magic now, DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO WHIP YOUR WANDS OUT FOR EVERYTHING!
Hermione Granger: [clears throat; correctly]
Everyone, this is Loony Love… Luna Lovegood.
Hermione Granger: [angry about Umbridge]
That foul, evil, old gargoyle! We're not learning how to defend ourselves. We're not learning how to pass our OWLs. She's taking over the entire school.
Sirius Black: [showing Harry the Black family tree on the wall; motions to Bellatrix Lestrange]
This is the Black family tree. My deranged cousin. I hated the lot of them. My parents with their pure-blood mania.
Rubeus Hagrid:
It's changin out there. There's a storm comin', Harry... just like last time. And we'd all best be ready when she does.
Sybill Trelawney: [goes into a trance, makes a prediction]
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... and the Dark Lord shall mark him as his equal but he shall have power the Dark Lord knows not... For neither can live while the other s-survives.
Voldemort:
You're a fool, Harry Potter. And you will lose…everything.
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