Memorable Quotes from Robbie Coltrane
17 quotesA Humorous Reminder of Personal Belongings
Charlie McManus
Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.
[teaching Brian how to cross himself]
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The Trinity Explained Through Humor
Charlie McManus
You've got the Father, the Son and the holy ghost. But the three are one - like a shamrock, my old priest used to say. "Three leaves, but one leaf." Now, the father sent down the son, who was love, and then when he went away, he sent down the holy spirit, who came down in the form of a...
Brian Hope
You told me already - a ghost.
Charlie McManus
No, a dove.
Brian Hope
The dove was a ghost?
Charlie McManus
No, the ghost was a dove.
Brian Hope
Let me try and summarize this: God is his son. And son is his God. But his son moonlights as a holy ghost, a holy spirit, and a dove. And they all send each other, even though they're all one and the same thing.
Charlie McManus
Got it.
Brian Hope
What?
Charlie McManus
You really could be a nun!
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Address Confirmation in "From Hell
Peter Godley
] Well, at least they got the address right.
[[w:From Hell letter|"From Hell."]
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A Warning Against Returning Home
Charlie McManus
Don't come back here. Case may send Abbot and Morley to find you love Brian." "Don't come back here" is a bit like saying "Do not read this note
Brian Hope
Well you write it then
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Disguises for Unnoticed Passage
Charlie McManus
Why?
Brian hope
Because we need to look just like them if we want to pass un-noticed
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Discussion of Death and Weight Training
Brian Hope
What did he die of?
Casey
He wanted to work for somebody else
Charlie McManus
Oh natural causes
Casey
I want you take him for some special weight training
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Fear of Becoming a Forgotten Memory
Peter Godley
You know who you're going to turn into. That sad old man in the pub that no one wants to sit beside because after a few drinks he'll start talking about the girl that got away.
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The Complexity of Explaining the Trinity
Brian Hope
Explain the Trinity.
Charlie McManus
Hmmm... well, it's a bit of a bugger.
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Reasons for Concern in Nuns on the Run
Charlie McManus
Lots of reasons
Brian Hope
Name three
Charlie McManus
Case,The Triads, The Police
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Londoner with Sympathy for Others
Peter Godley
Your typical Londoner, imbued with Christian sympathy for his fellow man — or fellow whore, in this case.
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Desperate Plans Amid Dangerous Threats
Charlie McManus
Great. Now if Case doesn't kill us the Triads will
Brian Hope
You know what we ought to do? Steal the money for ourselves
Charlie McManus
Oh brilliant. Then we'll have Case trying to gun us down and The Triads trying to chop us up.
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Value of a Night's Rest
Charlie McManus
What does she do?
Brian Hope
She sleeps for 10 quid.
Charlie McManus
Only 10 quid? Why, I would give her at least 50!
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Debating Celibacy and Original Sin in Christianity
Father Seamus
Tell me. Is celibacy just as difficult for a woman as it is for a man?
Charlie McManus
I wouldn't know... I must come clean, though, I, I had a man in my bed last night. All right. You see, the way I see it, sex is allowed.
Father Seamus
Ah, ha... ha!
Charlie McManus
No. No, it's the doctrine of original sin. You see, we're all born sinful, except for Jesus. who was perfect of course. And he was sent to save us. But how could he save us unless we're sinning? So we have to go on sinning in order to be saved and go to Heaven. That's how Christianity works. That's why it suits so many people.
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Debating Church Rules and Modern Changes
Brian Hope
I thought you were supposed to be eating fish on a Friday.
Charlie McManus
No, you're way out of date. Vatican II said we don't have to do that anymore.
Brian Hope
Who's "Vatican II"? The deputy pope?
Charlie McManus
Ignoramus. You can't have a deputy pope. The pope's infallible; you can't be deputy-infallible!
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Consequences of Magic and School Regulations
Mafalda Hopkirk
Dear Mr. Potter, the Ministry has received intelligence that at 6:23 this evening, you performed the Patronus Charm in the presence of a Muggle. As a clear violation of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery, you are hereby expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hoping you are well, Mafalda Hopkirk.
[voiceover through letter]
Molly Weasley
Just because you're allowed to use magic now, DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO WHIP YOUR WANDS OUT FOR EVERYTHING!
[annoyed to Fred and George as they appear behind her, startling her]
Hermione Granger
Everyone, this is Loony Love… Luna Lovegood.
[clears throat; correctly]
Hermione Granger
That foul, evil, old gargoyle! We're not learning how to defend ourselves. We're not learning how to pass our OWLs. She's taking over the entire school.
[angry about Umbridge]
Sirius Black
This is the Black family tree. My deranged cousin. I hated the lot of them. My parents with their pure-blood mania.
[showing Harry the Black family tree on the wall; motions to Bellatrix Lestrange]
Rubeus Hagrid
It's changin out there. There's a storm comin', Harry... just like last time. And we'd all best be ready when she does.
Sybill Trelawney
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... and the Dark Lord shall mark him as his equal but he shall have power the Dark Lord knows not... For neither can live while the other s-survives.
[goes into a trance, makes a prediction]
Voldemort
You're a fool, Harry Potter. And you will lose…everything.
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The Commercialization of Faith and Need
Brian Hope
Look, Charlie. Some con men sell life insurance. The church sells afterlife insurance. It's brilliant! Everyone thinks you might need it, and no one can prove you don't.
Charlie McManus
The church isn't selling anything, Brian.
Brian Hope
Oh! Well, if the church isn't selling, how did it get to be so rich? Just remember, wherever there's a deep human need, there's more money to be made.
Charlie McManus
You think so?
Brian Hope
Of course, look at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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Faith and Practicality in a Crisis
Charlie McManus
I think God's gonna get us out of this alive
Brian Hope
Well I hope you won't be relying on him totally. Cause we've still gotta break into that bleeding cupboard
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