Robert Townsend Quotes

Mr. Jones And I got a new one, Bobby! Winky Dinky Ho Cake.

Bobby Taylor Ho cake?

Mr. Jones Ho Cake! Hos got to eat too!

Bobby Taylor I have the respect of the community, and that makes me proud...So if you can't take pride in your job, remember, there's always work at the post office..

Bobby Taylor Hi. My name is Robert Taylor - and I'm a black actor. I had to learn to play these slave part - and now you can too, in Hollywood's first "Black Acting School". It teaches you everything! Learn Jive Talking 101...Let's talk to a graduate. This is Ricky Taylor. Ricky graduated from my class three years ago. Ricky, can you tell us what you've been doing since you graduated.

Ricky Taylor Well, Robert, I've played nine crooks, four gang leaders, two dope dealers, and I played a rapist twice. That was fun. Currently, I'm filming a prison movie. I play this tough con and I have to fuck this new inmate.

Bobby Taylor That sounds wonderful! I'm so happy for you. Need I say any more? It's Hollywood's first Black Acting School. It teaches you everything.

Bobby Taylor How can you tell if you have a good script?

Batty Boy Does your character…die?

Bobby Taylor No.

Batty Boy Then it’s a good script. Just one hit movie can give you success for life. It’s not about art! It’s about sequel! One film... one!! You can make an entire career. Just look at me! Batty, batty, batty!

Casting Director I have another very good idea. Could you tell him to be a little more - you know.

Director Yeah, Bobby - Bobby, I need a little more black. You know what I'm saying? Like, stick your ass out, bug the eyes, you know how to move, you know.

Bobby Taylor Yeah, jive - jive ass. Jive ass. Jive ass.

Bobby Taylor I read in a magazine that you still take acting classes. And that you don't drink or do drugs.

Body Guard #2 Relax, Mr. Batty. Relax.

Body Guard #1 Don't say drugs around the man. And don't say coke or free base, neither - unless you got some.

Bobby Taylor I wish Tiny would bring his big fat ass out here... Tiny! I'm going to make it up to you, I'm going to be a star.

Tiny No, you're gonna be seein stars!

Jesse Wilson This is bull shit.

Bobby Taylor What are you talking about?

Jesse Wilson This is some more of the white man's stereotype of a black man, yeah, brother.

Bobby Taylor Really?

Jesse Wilson Yeah, brother. Only an Uncle Tom would do this shit. They just lookin for somebody to sell out.

Bobby Taylor Sell out?

Jesse Wilson The only role they gonna let us do is a slave, a butler, or some street hood or something. Don't sell out, brother. Don't be a butler or a slave.

Receptionist Jesse Wilson? Jesse Wilson, you're next.

Jesse Wilson That's me! Good luck, brotha.