Play It to the Bone - Choosing a Date for the Fight
Hank Goody:
Who's my date for the fight tonight, Rudy? I can't keep track of these things.
Rudy:
Your wife.
Hank Goody: [Looks slightly confused]
My wife?
Rudy:
Yeah. You know, there's a lot of cameras there tonight. I figured your wife would be a good call.
Hank Goody: [Gives it some thought]
My wife... You're right. Good call.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wild Things - Tension Escalates Among Characters in Courtroom
Kenneth Bowden: [Passing Sandra Van Ryan's limo and honking the horn]
Hey, look who we've got here. Hey, Sandra!
Sandra Van Ryan:
I want you to nail that shyster's balls to the wall!
Tom Baxter:
Well, that might have been possible if miss not-so-bright here hadn't started throwing things in court.
Kelly Van Ryan:
Fuck off!
Sandra Van Ryan:
I can't believe you're going to let them, get away with this... shit!
Tom Baxter:
I don't think you understand, Sandy. Your little princess here committed perjury. It will be all I can do to keep her fucking little ass out of jail.
Sandra Van Ryan:
Well... what are we going to do?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wild Things - Confrontation Over Daughter's Safety in Blue Bay
Tom Baxter:
Maybe you didn't hear me, Lombardo. You're finished in Blue Bay. And if I find you around my daughter again, you'll be finished, period. Get the fuck out of here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Pink Panther - Ownership Dispute Over The Pink Panther Diamond
Simone Clouseau:
If I'm not being too nosy your highness, I read somewhere there was some dispute over the ownership of the Pink Panther.
Princess Dala:
It belongs to me. It was a gift from my late father. I shall never surrender it.
Sir Charles Lytton:
Why should you?
Princess Dala:
When the present government seized power, they claimed the diamond was the property of the people. There's even some talk of the international court deciding the issue.
Sir Charles Lytton:
I'll tell you what, why don't I steal the diamond, leave that old glove or whatever it is behind, and you and I can split the insurance.
Princess Dala:
All right.
George Lytton: [to Princess Dala]
I feel like dancing. Your Highness?
Princess Dala:
I'd love to.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Pink Panther - Betting on the Phantom's Presence
Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
I am willing to bet you ten thousand francs, that the phantom is in Cortina at this very moment. Even, perhaps, in this very room.
Simone Clouseau:
How exciting. What do you think, Mr. Tucker?
Tucker:
Oh, I agree with the inspector. You see, Ten of his last fifteen victims have been guests at Angela Dunning's parties.
Sir Charles Lytton:
What are we all talking about?
Simone Clouseau:
The notorious Phantom.
Princess Dala:
I'm afraid I never heard of him.
Sir Charles Lytton:
From the little I've read about him, he seems to be quite a fellow.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
Believe me. There are few thieves who are as clever as the Phantom. Each theft is completely different and unique, classic in its conception.
George Lytton:
I thought you were working on the theory that he does repeat himself.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau:
Well, only as far as Angela Dunning's parties are concerned. However, there is one other duplication, but that is his ah... trademark, his calling card, so to speak. He always leaves a white monogrammed glove.
Princess Dala:
Sounds terribly theatrical.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me - The Value of Trillions and Billions
Number Two:
Why not use your knowledge of the future to play the stock market? We could make trillions.
Dr. Evil: [zoom up, play evil sound bite, and pause; grins]
Why make trillions when we could make... Billions?
Scott:
A trillion is more than a billion, numb-nuts.
Dr. Evil:
All right. Zip it.
Scott:
You - You can't even-
Dr. Evil:
Zip it! Zip.
Scott:
Look, all I'm-
Dr. Evil:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, ex-zip-it A.
Scott:
Number Two, would you please back me up?
Dr. Evil:
Look! I'm "Zippy" Longstocking!
Scott:
Ugh. I can't-
Dr. Evil: [to the tune of Devo's "Whip It"; imitates whip]
When a problem comes along, you must zip it! Zip it good!
Scott:
Frau, would you please-?
Dr. Evil: [speaks Japanese; Subtitle: "Zip it".]
Damare.
Scott:
I'm just trying to-
Dr. Evil:
Zip! Would you like to have a suckle of my "zipple"?
Scott:
I want-
Dr. Evil:
Sh!
Scott: [Dr. Evil speaks gibberish; Dr. Evil speaks more gibberish; again; again; again; again; again]
Stop. All you- You- You're like a child! Talkin'- If you just- Just- One time-
Dr. Evil:
Zip it. Unveil the Time Portal.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery - Dr. Evil's Outdated Plans Encounter Reality
Dr. Evil:
Gentlemen, I have a plan. It's called blackmail. The Royal Family of Britain are the wealthiest landowners in the world. Either the Royal Family pays us an exorbitant amount of money, or we make it seen that Prince Charles has had an affair outside of marriage and therefore would have to divorce!
Number Two: [clears his throat]
Prince Charles did have an affair. He admitted it, and they are now divorced.
Dr. Evil: [pause]
Right, people you have to tell me these things, okay? I've been frozen for thirty years, okay? Throw me a frickin bone here! I'm the boss! Need the info. Okay, no problem. Here's my second plan. Back in the 60's, I had a weather changing machine that was, in essence, a sophisticated heat beam which we called a "laser." Using these "lasers," we punch a hole in the protective layer around the Earth, which we scientists call the "Ozone Layer." Slowly but surely, ultraviolet rays would pour in, increasing the risk of skin cancer. That is unless...the world pays us...a hefty ransom?
Number Two: [clears his throat again]
That, also, already has happened.
Dr. Evil: [pause; dramatically]
Shit. Oh, hell, let's just do what we always do. Hijack some nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage. Yeah? Good! Gentlemen, it has come to my attention that a breakaway Russian Republic called Kreplachestan will be transferring a nuclear warhead to the United Nations in a few days. Here's the plan: We get the warhead, and we hold the world ransom for... $1,000,000!
Number Two: [clears throat]
Well, don't you think we should ask for more than a million dollars? A million dollars isn't exactly a lot of money these days. Virtucon alone makes over $9 billion a year.
Dr. Evil:
Really?
Number Two:
Mmm-hmm.
Dr. Evil: [pause]
That's a lot more. Okay, then. We hold the world ransom for...$100...billion!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery - Living on the Edge of Danger
Casino Dealer:
17.
Number Two: [inconspicuously scans the next card with his X-ray eye patch]
Hit me.
Dealer:
You have 17, sir.
Number Two:
I like to live dangerously.
Dealer: [reveals the next card; turns to Austin after dealing him his next card]
4. 21. 5.
Austin: [waves his hands over his cards]
I'll stay.
Dealer:
I suggest you hit, sir.
Austin:
I also like to live dangerously.
Dealer: [flips his cards over]
As you wish, sir. 20 beats your 5. I'm sorry, sir.
Austin:
Well, I won't lie to you. Cards are not my bag, baby.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.