Zorro, The Gay Blade - Captain Esteban's Unconventional Performance Instructions
Captain Esteban:
Now, lisp like a sissy
Captain Esteban:
That's right! Now, swing your hips …
Captain Esteban:
Excellent! Now flap your wrists …
Captain Esteban: [Esteban speaks in a greatly exaggerated ''sissy'' voice; laughs hysterically]
And repeat after me "You naughty, naughty, evil Alcalde! I am going to do … many terrible things … TO YOU!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Zorro, The Gay Blade - Repetitive Movements Lead to Frustration
Captain Esteban:
Now walking and running and jumping in place, and…
Esteban, Diego: [in unison]
… now walking and running and jumping in place, and now walking and jumping and running in place—
Captain Esteban:
STOP!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Zorro, The Gay Blade - Wit and Blades: A Sharp Exchange
Captain Esteban:
Is your blade as sharp as your tongue?
Zorro:
Is yours as dull as your wit?
Captain Esteban:
You're a little clumsy, are you not, my friend?
Zorro:
To be your friend, I would have to be more than clumsy — I would have to be estupid!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Zorro, The Gay Blade - Misunderstandings in Identity and Relationships
Captain Esteban:
That man in the black sombrero — this is Zero?
Old Man:
I am certain of it!
Captain Esteban:
Then the hideous dog you refer to must be my wife, yeah?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Zorro, The Gay Blade - Voices of Defiance in the Village Square
Captain Esteban:
Arrest that woman! Now!
Charlotte Taylor Wilson:
No, wait! Isn't this the village square, where according to law, everyone is allowed to speak his or her mind?
Captain Esteban: [yelling to the crowd]
You're right, Señorita. The woman is allowed to speak! But arrest anyone who listens.
Charlotte Taylor Wilson: [to the crowd]
Let your voices be heard! Oppose the… greedy bloodsuckers!
Charlotte Taylor Wilson:
Thank you. I'm Charlotte Taylor Wilson. I'm with the People's Independence Committee.
Don Diego:
Don Diego Vega. I'm with the… greedy bloodsuckers.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Zorro, The Gay Blade - Tax Consequences and Personal Accountability
Captain Esteban:
That man was three pesos short in paying his taxes. I can assure you that he will never be short again.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Zorro, The Gay Blade - Introductions Among Notable Characters
Captain Esteban:
Caballeros! I believe you all know each other?
Don Diego:
Don Diego from San Fernando.
Don Francisco:
Don Francisco from San Jose.
Don Fernando:
Don Fernando from San Diego.
Don Jose:
Don Jose from San Bernardino.
Luis Obispo:
Luis Obispo from Bakersfield.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Zorro, The Gay Blade - The Turtle's Role in a Tragic Accident
Captain Esteban:
Your father, I'm sorry to say, had a terrible accident.
Don Diego:
Accident?
Captain Esteban:
Sí. He was out riding when his horse was frightened by a turtle.
Captain Esteban:
My friend — I want you to know that the turtle who caused this has been executed.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Zorro, The Gay Blade - A Mute Servant Sparks Humor and Irony
Don Diego:
That is, uh, my servant, Paco. He is a mute. He cannot speak.
Captain Esteban:
Oh, excellent! Perhaps he can give lessons to my wife.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Garden State - Navigating Grief and Stress in Conversation
Mark's Mom:
Oh, guys, don't stay in here all day. I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping all night.
Dr. Cohen:
You know, our bodies are capable of doing some very funny things when they're consumed by stress and anxiety. I found my ex-best friend's cufflinks in my wife's purse. I couldn't get an erection for a year and a half...for example.
Kenny:
Your mom just died! ..... I mean, that's why you're home.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.