Memorable Quotes from Ross Malinger
7 quotesExpressing Feelings in Difficult Situations
Jonah Baldwin
He's not sane enough to judge anything. Now he's kissing her on the lips. She's a ho! My dad's been captured by a ho! What am I going to do?
Dr. Marcia Fieldstone
Jonah, calm down. Tomorrow, when you're sitting down to breakfast, tell him how you feel. It's not good to keep your feelings inside you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Meeting at the Empire State Building
Sam Baldwin
She wants to meet me at the top of the Empire State Building. On Valentine's Day.
[about Annie]
Suzy
It's like that movie.
Sam Baldwin
What movie?
Suzy
]. Did you ever see it? ] and ]. She's gonna meet him at the top of the Empire State Building... only she got hit by a taxi. And he waited and waited. And it was raining, I think. And then... she's too proud to tell him... that she's, uh... crippled. And he's too proud to find out why she doesn't come. But he comes to see her anyway. I forget why, but, oh... Oh, it's so amazing when he comes to see her because... he doesn't even notice that she doesn't get up to say hello. And he's very bitter. And you think that he's just gonna walk out the door... and never know why she's just lying there, you know, on the couch... with this blanket over her shriveled little legs.
[[w:An Affair To Remember|An Affair To Remember; [Cary Grant; [w:Deborah Kerr|Deborah Kerr; starts to cry; crying more; sobbing]
Jonah Baldwin
Are you all right?
Greg
She's fine.
Suzy
Suddenly he goes, "I already sold the painting." And he like goes to the bedroom... and he looks and he comes out and he looks at her and he kind of just... They know and then they hug. And it's so...
[trails off crying]
Sam Baldwin
Well I'm not looking for a mail-order bride! I just want somebody I can have a decent conversation with over dinner. Without it falling down into weepy tears over some movie!
Greg
She's, as you just saw, very emotional.
Sam Baldwin
Although I cried at the end of ].
[[w:The Dirty Dozen|The Dirty Dozen]
Greg
Who didn't?
Sam Baldwin
] was throwing these hand grenades down these airshafts. And ] and ] were sitting on top of this armored personnel carrier, dressed up like Nazis...
[[Jim Brown; [w:Richard Jaeckel|Richard Jaeckel; [w:Lee Marvin|Lee Marvin; Begins to cry]
Greg
Stop, stop!
[Crying too]
Sam Baldwin
And ]...
[[w:Trini Lopez|Trini Lopez]
Greg
Yes, Trini Lopez!
Sam Baldwin
He busted his neck while they were parachuting down behind the Nazi lines...
Greg
Stop.
Sam Baldwin
And Richard Jaeckel - at the beginning he had on this shiny helmet...
Greg
Please no more. Oh God! I loved that movie.
[Crying harder]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussing Relationships and Expectations
Jonah Baldwin
If you get a new wife, I guess you'll get to have sex with her, huh?
Sam Baldwin
I certainly hope so.
Jonah Baldwin
Will she scratch up your back?
Sam Baldwin
What?
[shocked]
Jonah Baldwin
In the movies, women are always scratching up the men's back and screaming and stuff when they're having sex.
Sam Baldwin
How do you know all this?
Jonah Baldwin
Jessica's got cable.
Sam Baldwin
Oh.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Child's Plea for Understanding
Jonah Baldwin
Shut up, shut up?! Mom never said shut up to me! Mom never yelled at me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Casual Dating Preferences and Modern Expectations
Sam Baldwin
I'd much rather just see somebody I like, and get a feeling about them, and ask them if they want to have a drink.
Jonah Baldwin
Or a slice of pizza --
Sam Baldwin
Not dinner. Not necessarily on the first date because halfway through dinner you could be really sorry you asked them to dinner. Whereas if it's just a drink, if you like them you can always ask them for dinner but if not, you can just say, "Well, that was great," and then you go home. If you see what I mean. I wonder if it still works this way.
[beat]
Jonah Baldwin
It doesn't. They ask you.
Sam Baldwin
I'm starting to notice that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Father and son discuss upcoming plans
Sam Baldwin
I'm leaving first thing in the morning, but I'm only gonna be gone one night. Clarisse is gonna be here. So, you'll be able to see plenty of Geraldo and Nightmare on Elm Street, 12 I will never know.
Jonah Baldwin
Are you going with her?
Sam Baldwin
I'm going with Victoria. Yes.
Sam Baldwin
Don't try anything tricky, understand?
Jonah Baldwin
Don't go rolling in poison ivy as soon as I leave the house. You lock yourself in a closet or do anything, make sure you'll need stitches. If your finger falls off, it's staying off. No one's gonna pack it on ice and take you to the hospital, so you can be a breakthrough in laser surgery. Is this about that woman in Baltimore?
[walks to Jonah's room]
Jonah Baldwin
Annie.
Jonah Baldwin
I don't care what you do!
Sam Baldwin
Good! Fine! I'll tell you what I'm doing this weekend, I'm getting laid. It's the 1990's and nobody's getting laid. I'm the only man in America who's getting laid this weekend and I haven't been laid that much. Six girls in college, maybe seven. How long have you been standing there?
[sees Jonah standing in the doorway]
Jonah Baldwin
Forever.
Sam Baldwin
What did you just hear me say?
Jonah Baldwin
Six girls in college, maybe seven.
Sam Baldwin
Seven... EIGHT! Mary Kelly.
Jonah Baldwin
This is the one I like!
[holds Annie's letter]
Sam Baldwin
Jonah, the fact is, you're not gonna like any woman, because that isn't your mother.
Jonah Baldwin
How do you know?! What's wrong with Annie?!
Sam Baldwin
Oh, Jonah, shut up!
Jonah Baldwin
Shut up? Shut up?! Mom never said "shut up" to me! Mom never yelled at me!
Sam Baldwin
This conversation is finished.
Jonah Baldwin
Why can't we go to New York?
Sam Baldwin
There is no way that we're going on a plane to meet some woman who could be a crazy, sick lunatic! Didn't you see ]?
[[w:Fatal Attraction|Fatal Attraction]
Jonah Baldwin
You wouldn't let me!
Sam Baldwin
Well I saw it and it scared the shit out of me! It scared the shit out of every man in America!
Jonah Baldwin
I'm not leaving until you say "yes".
Jonah Baldwin
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
Sam Baldwin
That's good, you'll have a lot to tell Oprah how your Dad destroyed your life because he had to go off for a weekend special at the Holiday Inn!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding Titles in Conversation
Jonah Baldwin
Talk to her, dad. She's a doctor.
[about Dr. Marcia Fieldstone]
Sam Baldwin
Of what? Her first name could be Doctor.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.