Selma BlairQuotes

Cassie: That's pretty pathetic in my book.

Pilot Kelson: In your book? And what's the title of that book? Is it called Give Me A Hundred Bucks And I'll Suck Your Dick'? Cause I think I read that one, and it was... ooh... lurid.

Pilot: He was amazing, wasn't he? Wasn't he amazing, Jack?

Jack: Amazing.

Pilot: Desmond the Alligator Boy is a major happener. Isn't he?

Jack: Whatever you say, Pilot.

Pilot: Would you want to be him?

Jack: What are you doing?

Pilot: What?

Jack: What are you doing, you fuck? What is with all these stupid questions?

Pilot: What? Why wouldn't you wanna be him?

Jack: Why? Because he's green... because his skin is disgusting... because he's brain damaged... because his head is misshapen. You want me to go on?

Pilot: No. You think he's happy?

Jack: Pilot!

Pilot: What? One question. Just answer me that. Do you think he's happy?

Jack: I don't know, Pilot. But maybe we can ask the old lady... when we go and say good-bye.

Pilot: What? You don't want to say good-bye?

Jack: I didn't say that.

Pilot: Yes, you did, dude! I heard you.

Jack: Cassandra, did you hear?

Cassie: I did.

Pilot: When we go and say good-bye," like it was the stupidest fucking thing you ever heard. And it was my idea.

Jack: I did not say that. But it was the stupidest fucking thing... I ever heard, by the way.

Pilot: Why?

Cassie: Are you guys, by any chance, in love?

Pilot: Why?

Jack: Bro, why do we have to go and say good-bye tomorrow? I mean, couldn't we just have... said good-bye today?

Cassie: I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll meet you all at the bar.

Mrs. Murray: [[w:600s BC|In around 600 B.C.; [w:Aesop|there was a slave] ]... ]. A slave of wealthy Greek noblemen. He was horribly deformed. And all day long... this monstrous-looking man... would spin wondrous tales of heroic animals. Great tales, but they tended to show... the weaknesses of men. So, the storyteller was killed by a crazed mob... who were insulted... that his stories showed animals as brave and smart... and people as weak and stupid.

Jack: Really? Wow.

Pilot: Amazing.

Mrs. Murray: Oh, wait. The punch line is: the storyteller's name was Aesop.

Jack: Really? Wow.

Pilot: Amazing.

Cassie: [[w:Aesop's Fables|''Aesop's Fables''] As in ]?

Jack: Yes.

Pilot: Really?

Jack: Wow!

Pilot: Amazing!

Jack: I didn't know that. I didn't know that Aesop was a freak.

Jack: What's your name?

Cassie: Cassie.

Jack: As in Cassandra?

Cassie: Yeah, as in Cassandra. What's your name?

Pilot: Pilot. This is Jack.

Cassie: Yeah? Why Pilot?

Pilot: I don't like to talk about it.

Jack: His mother picked up... an airline pilot one night-

Pilot: But Jack loves to.

Jack: [[w:Dallas Fort Worth International airport|near DFW] At a bar ].

Pilot: That's Dallas-Fort Worth.

Jack: They fucked, the pilot left... she got pregnant...only she never caught the pilot's name.

Cassie: Mom's a peach. She named you Pilot.

Jack: Exactly, Cassandra.

Cassie: Wow. Zowie. What?

Jack: You did a good thing.

Cassie: Huh?

Jack: [[w:fisherman|a fisherman; [w:proctologist|proctologist; [w:Pest control|an exterminator] Most people when told the story... will inevitably say... "Good thing he wasn't ]. Good thing... he wasn't a ]. Good thing he wasn't ].

Cassie: Okay, I see, because if the guy... had been like a proctologist... then Pilot's name might be like, um...

Jack: [[w:Sphincter|Sphincter] ].

Pilot: Exactly.

Jack: [[w:Anus|Anus; [w:Hemorrhoid|Hemorrhoid; [w:Dingleberry|Dingleberry] Or ]. Or ]. Or ].

Pilot: All right, all right. Can we stop?

Cassie: [''To Jack and Pilot''] Are you guys by any chance, in love?

Stevie Wayne: Now, what kind of fog moves against the wind?

Liz Sherman: ['''Hellboy:''' [Holding up the crown; Takes the crown from Hellboy and melts it, while the Golden Army deactivates] All that power–] Don't even think about it.

Liz Sherman: [To Hellboy] I'll stay with you. You're the best man I know.

Liz Sherman: [[w:Hellboy|Red] I– I hate it when people stare at me. It makes me feel like a freak. You had no right, ].