Memorable Quotes from Selma Blair
9 quotesThe Impact of Desmond the Alligator Boy
Pilot
He was amazing, wasn't he? Wasn't he amazing, Jack?
Jack
Amazing.
Pilot
Desmond the Alligator Boy is a major happener. Isn't he?
Jack
Whatever you say, Pilot.
Pilot
Would you want to be him?
Jack
What are you doing?
Pilot
What?
Jack
What are you doing, you fuck? What is with all these stupid questions?
Pilot
What? Why wouldn't you wanna be him?
Jack
Why? Because he's green... because his skin is disgusting... because he's brain damaged... because his head is misshapen. You want me to go on?
Pilot
No. You think he's happy?
Jack
Pilot!
Pilot
What? One question. Just answer me that. Do you think he's happy?
Jack
I don't know, Pilot. But maybe we can ask the old lady... when we go and say good-bye.
Pilot
What? You don't want to say good-bye?
Jack
I didn't say that.
Pilot
Yes, you did, dude! I heard you.
Jack
Cassandra, did you hear?
Cassie
I did.
Pilot
When we go and say good-bye," like it was the stupidest fucking thing you ever heard. And it was my idea.
Jack
I did not say that. But it was the stupidest fucking thing... I ever heard, by the way.
Pilot
Why?
Cassie
Are you guys, by any chance, in love?
Pilot
Why?
Jack
Bro, why do we have to go and say good-bye tomorrow? I mean, couldn't we just have... said good-bye today?
Cassie
I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll meet you all at the bar.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Story of Aesop's Tales
Mrs. Murray
]... ]. A slave of wealthy Greek noblemen. He was horribly deformed. And all day long... this monstrous-looking man... would spin wondrous tales of heroic animals. Great tales, but they tended to show... the weaknesses of men. So, the storyteller was killed by a crazed mob... who were insulted... that his stories showed animals as brave and smart... and people as weak and stupid.
[[w:600s BC|In around 600 B.C.; [w:Aesop|there was a slave]
Jack
Really? Wow.
Pilot
Amazing.
Mrs. Murray
Oh, wait. The punch line is: the storyteller's name was Aesop.
Jack
Really? Wow.
Pilot
Amazing.
Cassie
As in ]?
[[w:Aesop's Fables|''Aesop's Fables'']
Jack
Yes.
Pilot
Really?
Jack
Wow!
Pilot
Amazing!
Jack
I didn't know that. I didn't know that Aesop was a freak.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Love Among Friends
Cassie
Are you guys by any chance, in love?
[''To Jack and Pilot'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mystery of the Unusual Fog
Stevie Wayne
Now, what kind of fog moves against the wind?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Discourse on Morality and Value
Cassie
That's pretty pathetic in my book.
Pilot Kelson
In your book? And what's the title of that book? Is it called Give Me A Hundred Bucks And I'll Suck Your Dick'? Cause I think I read that one, and it was... ooh... lurid.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggles with Insecurity and Judgment
Liz Sherman
I– I hate it when people stare at me. It makes me feel like a freak. You had no right, ].
[[w:Hellboy|Red]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Caution Against Temptation of Power
Liz Sherman
All that power–] Don't even think about it.
['''Hellboy:''' [Holding up the crown; Takes the crown from Hellboy and melts it, while the Golden Army deactivates]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commitment to a Trusted Companion
Liz Sherman
I'll stay with you. You're the best man I know.
[To Hellboy]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Introduction of Characters and Their Names
Jack
What's your name?
Cassie
Cassie.
Jack
As in Cassandra?
Cassie
Yeah, as in Cassandra. What's your name?
Pilot
Pilot. This is Jack.
Cassie
Yeah? Why Pilot?
Pilot
I don't like to talk about it.
Jack
His mother picked up... an airline pilot one night-
Pilot
But Jack loves to.
Jack
At a bar ].
[[w:Dallas Fort Worth International airport|near DFW]
Pilot
That's Dallas-Fort Worth.
Jack
They fucked, the pilot left... she got pregnant...only she never caught the pilot's name.
Cassie
Mom's a peach. She named you Pilot.
Jack
Exactly, Cassandra.
Cassie
Wow. Zowie. What?
Jack
You did a good thing.
Cassie
Huh?
Jack
Most people when told the story... will inevitably say... "Good thing he wasn't ]. Good thing... he wasn't a ]. Good thing he wasn't ].
[[w:fisherman|a fisherman; [w:proctologist|proctologist; [w:Pest control|an exterminator]
Cassie
Okay, I see, because if the guy... had been like a proctologist... then Pilot's name might be like, um...
Jack
].
[[w:Sphincter|Sphincter]
Pilot
Exactly.
Jack
Or ]. Or ]. Or ].
[[w:Anus|Anus; [w:Hemorrhoid|Hemorrhoid; [w:Dingleberry|Dingleberry]
Pilot
All right, all right. Can we stop?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.