Serge HoudeQuotes

Susan: [as Greg and Rodrick return home and checks the time on her watch] Oh, you boys are five minutes early. Did you have a good time?

Greg: A great time.

Mrs. Kohan: That is so sweet.

Mr. Saltz: I just can't get over how well your boys get along.

Frank: [connecting the camera to the TV] Well, Larry, we run a pretty tight ship around here. It's all about boundaries, rules. Anyway, let me show you some of those Civil War re-enactment photos I was telling you about.

Susan: So, what did you boys do?

Rodrick: [stuttering] Just hung out at the mall. And talked about life. Just nothing. Nothing special.

Susan: Oh, my God.

Frank: [turns to Rodrick; curiously] Rodrick, can you explain what you're doing in this photo?

Rodrick: That's not me.

Frank: That's not you?

Rodrick: Nope.

Frank: [scrolls through his camera, showing more photos of Rodrick's party; Susan presses her hand on her heart, shocked with horror; then sets the camera down as it stops on the last photo of Greg and Rowley; angrily to Rodrick] Okay. How bout these? I can't believe that you had a PARTY!

Susan: Greg, you told me it was a couple of kids, a band rehearsal!

Frank: Wait, Susan, you knew about this?

Susan: Yes. Yes, I knew.

Rodrick: [shocked; to Greg] You told Mom?!

Frank: I knew they had a party!

Greg: It slipped out, but I took it back!

Susan: My instincts told me you weren't being honest! I should've trusted my instincts!

Frank: Wait! You knew about this, but you didn't tell me about it?

Greg: I still protected you! I threw Mom off your scent!

Rodrick: Great job. She has no idea!

Frank: We are supposed to be a team against them!

Susan: They were getting along so well, I let it blind me to the truth!

Rodrick: Why were you taking pictures?!

Greg: It was so crazy that morning, I forgot we took the pictures.

Susan: [points to the bathroom door] So I let it slide. And I am so sorry. Oh, God. It feels so good to get that out. I haven't been able to look at that bathroom door for two weeks!

Frank: I knew that door had a lock on it! And everybody was trying to make me feel like I was losing my mind!

Mr. Salz: [closes the door] We're-We're just gonna let ourselves out. I wouldn't wanna write a column about this.

Frank: I'm going upstairs. To a bathroom that has a lock on it, and no one can tell me that it doesn't.

Susan: [to her sons; sighs sharply] I have to go talk to your father. I will deal with you boys, later.

Greg: Rodrick, I really didn't tell her! I mean maybe, sort of, but I made a deal with her and we had a really good time and…

Rodrick: [bitterly; walks upstairs] You're my brother. But you'll never be my friend.

Susan: Your father I have talked, and we've decided on your punishment.

Frank: Greg, you're grounded for two weeks. Also, no video games for two weeks.

Susan: Rodrick, you may only drive to and from school for the next month. As the ringleader, you are also grounded for a month.

Rodrick: Mom, I'm sorry, and I won't do it again.

Susan: I know you won't. And to make sure, we're also not allowing you to perform in the talent show.

Rodrick: [shocked] What? No. No, you can't do that. Ground me for a year (instead), I don't care, but you have to let me play in that show! This could be my big break.

Susan: Sorry.

Rodrick: [upset] Dad, come on, this isn't fair. I just got Bill in the band!

Frank: Actually, Rodrick, that doesn't help your case. Bill's kind of a jerk.

Susan: Our decision is final.

Rodrick: [whispers angrily to Greg] You are so dead.