Shaheen KhanQuotes

Jess: How am I going to tell em, Tony? I'll have to now or I'll end up a solicitor, bored out of my mind.

Tony: Come with me. Mum, Uncle, Auntie... We've got something we want to tell you.

Mr. Bhamra: Why is he holding her hand?

Tony: We've been good friends for a long time now. We'd like to ask for your blessings. We'd like to get engaged. But there's one condition, Jesminder goes to college first, anywhere that she wants.

Mrs. Bhamra: [[w:Glasgow|Glasgow; [w:Portsmouth|Portsmouth] Of course, putar! Well, we have relatives all the way in ], in ]...

Jess: Mum, Dad... Tony's lying. We're not getting married. Tony only said that to help me, but I'm not lying any more. I played in the final today, and we won!

Mrs. Bhamra: When?

Jess: I wasn't going to go but Dad let me. And it was brilliant. I played the best ever! And I was happy because I wasn't sneaking off and lying to you! I didn't ask to be good at football. Guru Nanak must have blessed me. There was a scout from America there today, and he's offered me a place at a top university with a free scholarship and a chance to play football professionally, and I really want to go, and if I can't tell you what I want now, then I'll never be happy, whatever I do.

Mrs. Bhamra: You let her leave her sister's wedding to go to a football match?!

Mr. Bhamra: Maybe you could handle her long face, I could not. I didn't have the heart to stop her. And that's why she's ready to go all the way to America now!

Mrs. Bhamra: She's dead, man!

Jess: It's all right, Mum, just leave it.

Mr. Bhamra: When those bloody English cricket players threw me out of their club like a dog... I never complained. On the contrary, I vowed that I will never play again. Who suffered? Me. But I don't want Jessie to suffer. I don't want her to make the same mistakes that her father made of accepting life, accepting situations. I want her to fight. And I want her to win... because I've seen her play. She is brilliant! I don't think anybody has the right of stopping her. Two daughters made happy in one day. What else can a father ask for?

Mrs. Bhamra: At least I've taught her full Indian dinner. The rest is up to God.

Joe: I'm sorry to barge in on you like this, but I wanted to talk to you in person. I only found out today that you didn't know Jess was playing for our team.

Mrs. Bhamra: No, we didn't.

Joe: I apologise. If I'd known, I would have encouraged Jess to tell you because I believe she's got tremendous potential.

Mr. Bhamra: I think we know better of our daughter's potential. Jess has no time for games. She'll be starting university soon.

Jess: But playing for the team is an honour!

Mrs. Bhamra: What bigger honour is there than respecting your elders?

Jess: Mom!

Mr. Bhamra: Young man, when I was a teenager in Nairobi, I was the best fast bowler in our school. Our team even won the East African Cup. But when I came to this country, nothing. I was not allowed to play in any of the teams, and the bloody goras in their clubhouses made fun of my turban and sent me off packing!

Joe: I'm sorry, Mr. Bhamra, but now it's...

Mr. Bhamra: Now what? Our boys aren't in the football leagues. You think they will let our girls? I don't want you to build up Jesminder's hopes. She will only end up disappointed, like me.

Jess: [[w:Nasser Hussein|Ṇạsser Ḥusseịṇ] It's all changing now. ] is captain of the English cricket team and he's Asian.

Mrs. Bhamra: Hussein is a Muslim name, their families are different.

Jess: Oh, Mum!

Teetu's father: We're not trying to cause trouble. We felt it our duty to tell you.

Mr. Bhamra: You know how hard it is for our children here. Sometimes they misjudge and start behaving like the kids here.

Teetu's mother: All I know is that children are a map of their parents.

Pinky: You stupid flippin cow!

Mrs. Bhamra: You've ruined your sister's life! Happy now?

Pinky: The wedding's off cause of you!

Jess: Me? Why?

Mrs. Bhamra: They saw you being filthy with an English boy!

Jess: I wasn't with any English boy!

Pinky: They saw you at a bus stop kissing him! Why couldn't you do it in secret like everyone else?

Jess: Kissing? Me? A boy?! You're all bloody mad!

Mr. Bhamra: Jesminder, don't you use those swearing words!

Jess: I was at the 120 bus stop today but with Juliet. My friend. She's a girl, and we weren't kissing or anything for God's sake!

Mr. Bhamra: [Points to painting on living room wall; [w:Guru Nanak|Babaji's name] Do you swear on ]?

Jess: I swear on Babaji's name.

Mrs. Bhamra: Sometimes these English girls have such short hair... You just can't tell.

Mr. Bhamra: They must have made a mistake.

Mrs. Bhamra: His parents are just making an excuse. We were never good enough for them.

Pinky: No, I bet she was with some dykey girl from her football team! She's still been playing you know! She ain't got no job! She's been lying!

Mrs. Bhamra: Why have I two deceiving daughters? What did I do wrong in my past life?

Pinky: But she's ruined my life!

Mrs. Bhamra: Don't think I didn't knew you were sneaking out with that good-for-nothing Teetu as well!

Jess: Mum, I'm starving. I worked through my lunch hour today.

Mrs. Bhamra: Where's Pinky? She was supposed to pick you up so you wouldn't be late for Poli. Pinky, why didn't you pick your sister up from work, huh?

Pinky: I went but the manager said I'd just missed her.

Mrs. Bhamra: Okay, Poli's on her way. I'll make you girls some tea.

Pinky: Who is he, then?

Jess: Who?

Pinky: You must think I've got shit for brains, lying about a job and that!

Jess: Don't tell Mum and Dad. I kept Teet a secret for you.

Pinky: [[w:Islam in the United Kingdom|a Muslim] He's not ], is he?

Jess: Ssh! I've been playing football for a women's team.

Pinky: Huh? It's worse than I thought!

Jess: It's a tournament with real matches!

Pinky: What is wrong with you, Jess? At least lie for something good! Don't you want a boyfriend like everyone else? You're quite pretty you know. Do your hair, some make-up, you'd look all right.

Mrs. Bhamra: Leave her alone. I never wore make-up until after I was married. Jessie's a good girl now. She helped me wash all the net curtains and she made lovely aloo Gobi last week.

Mrs. Bhamra: Chi, chi, chi! He was touching you all over! Putting his hands on your bare legs! YOU'RE NOT A YOUNG GIRL ANYMORE! And showing the world your scar, ay yi yi...

Mr. Bhamra: Jessie, now that your sister's engaged... it's different. You know how people talk.

Jess: She's getting married, not me!

Mrs. Bhamra: [[w:Dhal|HOW TO COOK DHAL] I was married at your age! YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO LEARN ]!

Jess: Anyway I'm not playing with boys any more.

Mrs. Bhamra: Good! (unknown Indian language) End of matter!

Jess: I'm joining a girls team.

Mrs. Bhamra: Ah?!

Jess: They're proper matches. The coach said I could go far.

Mrs. Bhamra: Go far? Go far to where? Jessie, we let you play all you wanted when you were young, huh? You've played enough.

Jess: That's not fair! He selected me!

Mrs. Bhamra: He'?! She said it was girls!

Jess: The coach, Joe.

Mrs. Bhamra: See how she lies? I don't want you running around half naked in front of men, huh? Look how dark you've become, playing in the sun!

Jess: But I'm really good!

Mrs. Bhamra: [[w:Chapati|chapattis] Who will want a daughter-in-law who can kick a football all day but can't make round ]? Now exams are over, you'll learn full Punjabi dinner! Meat and vegetarian!

Jess: But, Dad...

Mrs. Bhamra: No! This is where you spoil her! This is how it started with your niece, the way that girl would answer back and she ran off to become a model wearing small, small skirts!

Jess: Mum, she's a fashion designer!

Mrs. Bhamra: She's divorced, that's what she is! Cast off after three years of being married to a white boy with blue hair! Her poor mother hasn't been able to set foot in that temple since. I don't want the shame on my family. That's it! No more football!

Mr. Bhamra: Jessie, your mother is right. It's not nice. You must start behaving like a proper woman. Okay?

Sportscaster: [[w:Old Trafford|Old Trafford] ..and there is Bhamra. It's a fine header, and she's scored! It's a goal by Jess Bhamra! A superb header, beating the defender,and planting the ball beyond the goalkeeper's left hand. Jess Bhamra makes a name for herself at ]!

Sportscaster: And have we discovered a new star here, Gary Lineker?

Gary: That's right. John?

John: Absolutely.. hehe.

Gary: Could Bhamra be the answer to England's prayers? Alan?

Alan: Quick thinking, comfortable on the ball, vision and awareness - magnificent. Tell you what, I wish she was playing for Scotland!

Gary: [[w:1966 FIFA World Cup|their World Cup glory from '66] John, have England found the player to relive ]?

John: Definitely, and the best thing is, she's not even reached her peak yet.

Anchor: We're joined now by Jess's mother. You must be proud of your daughter.

Mrs. Bhamra: [Mrs. Bhamra faces the camera; Scene changes to Jess' bedroom fixated on her television set oblivious to her mother at door; Grabs remote and turns off TV] Not at all! She shouldn't be showing her bare legs to 70,000 people! She's bringing shame on the family. And you three shouldn't be encouraging her! Jesminder, you get back home now! (untranslated Indian language) Jessminder? Are you listening to me? (untranslated Indian language) Jessminder?! Have you gone mad?! Football, shootball! Your sister's getting engaged, and you're sitting here watching this skinhead boy!

Jess: Mum, it's Beckham's corner!

Mrs. Bhamra: Eh, come downstairs, and your sister's going crazy.

Pinky: I've got to go! Mum, where are my keys?

Jess: I'm sick of this wedding and it hasn't even started!

Pinky: That girl is a first-class bitch!

Mrs. Bhamra: Pinky, you've got so many others!

Pinky: [To Jess wạlkịṇg dowṇ stạịrs] It was all planned now I gotta get another one! Will you get a flaming move on!

Jess: What the bloody hell's going on?

Pinky: Get this yeah? Teet's bloody sister says she's wearing baby pink now. Stupid flipping cow! I had matching accessories and everything!

Jess: Oh, Mum, do I have to go shopping again?

Mrs. Bhamra: [[w:Coriander|dhania; [w:South Asian pickle|achar] Ah! My mother chose all my 21 dowry suits herself. I never once complained. You girls are too spoilt! And don't forget my ]. And more carrots. I'm making ].

Both Jess and Pinky simultaneously: Oh, Mum, don't do pickle as well!

Mrs. Bhamra: Oh, am I asking you to make it?!