Shannen Doherty Quotes

Brodie You have my Punisher War Journal #6, my copy of "Fletch" and the remote control to my TV. Now, I know it's going to be hard to give this stuff up because of it's sentimental attachment--

Rene Sentimental attachment? Look, if I have any of that crap it's because you brought it over to my house and left it there.

Brodie Okay, then let's talk about coming up with a schedule for visitation rights.

Rene For what?

Brodie For the mall. I figure you can take the odd days, I'll take the even days and weekends. When there's any special feature like a sidewalk sale--

Rene Brodie, Brodie--

Brodie --or a boat show--

Rene Brodie! I've always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday, when you asked me to do a striptease to the theme of "Mighty Mouse", I said "Okay". When we were at that hotel prom night and you asked me to sleep under the bed in case your mother burst in, I did it. And even when we were at my grandmother's funeral when you told most of my relatives that you could see her nipples through her burial dress, I let it slide. But if you think I'm gonna suffer any more of your shit with a smile now that we're broken up, you're in for some serious fucking disappointment.

Heather McNamara Oh God, this is a tragic thing, and sometimes I have a hard time dealing with it and stuff. Please send Heather to Heaven and all that.

Peter Dawson Dear God, please make sure this never happens to me, cause I don't think I can handle suicide. Plus, early acceptance into an Ivy League school and please let it be Harvard. Amen.

Ram Sweeney Jesus, God in Heaven, why did you have to kill such hot snatch? It's a joke, man. Jeez, people are so serious. Hail Mary, who aren't in heaven, pray for all us sinners so we don't get caught. —Another joke, man.

Heather Duke I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times, and I felt bad every time I did it, but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. Praise Jesus! Hallelujah!

Veronica Sawyer Hi, I'm sorry. Technically I did not kill Heather Chandler, but hey, who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my high school to be a nice place. Amen. Did that sound bitchy?

Brodie What the hell gives at the cover boy?

Rene None of your damn business, but he'd probably kick your ass if he knew what you just pulled.

Brodie Are you insane?! The guy looks like a date rapist! Is that my jacket?

Rene Brodie, start the elevator.

Brodie No! Not until you tell me what the deal is with you and the Sperminator out there! How long has this been going on!?

Rene Since I finally mustered the good sense to send you packing! He's a much more suitable companion any day.

Brodie Are you nuts?! The guy's pure testosterone! He's a walking hard-on just looking for a hole!

Rene I'm in need of testosterone after babysitting you and your comic book collection! I forgot what real men were like!

Heather Duke Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?

Brodie I took you shopping all the time!

Rene You took me where you went shopping, you jerk! You think I care what store in that shit pit dirt mall has the latest Godzilla bootlegs? Do you call eating pizza in the same dive pizzeria every night eating out? Do I give a shit what two comic labels are crossing over characters, selling two editions of the book in varied-ink chromium covers?! I'm a girl, damn it! I wanna do girly things!

Veronica Heather, why can't you just be a friend? Why do you have to be such a megabitch?!

Heather Duke Because I can be.