Shari WeiserQuotes

Didymus: Well, come on!

Sarah: No! I have to face him alone.

Didymus: But why?

Sarah: Because... that's the way it's done.

Didymus: Well, if that is the way it is done, then that is the way you must do it. But, should you need us...

Hoggle: Yes, should you need us...

Sarah: I'll call. Thank you.

Hoggle: What did you have to go and do a thing like that for?!

Sarah: You mean rescue you?

Hoggle: No! You kissed me!

Jareth: Well! If it isn't you. And, uhh... WHERE. ARE YOU. GOING?

Hoggle: Uhh... well...the little lady gave me the slip, but uhh... I just hears her now. So I was just on my way to lead her back to the beginning, like you told me.

Jareth: I see. For one moment, I thought you were running to help her. But no... not after my warnings, that WOULD be stupid!

Hoggle: [laughs nervously] Oh! You bet it would! Me? Help her? After your warnings?

Jareth: [appearing suddenly in front of him] Oh dear, poor Hoghead.

Hoggle: Hoggle.

Jareth: I've just noticed that your lovely jewels are missing.

Hoggle: Uh, oh yes! So they are. My lovely jewels. Missing. I'd better find em, but first, I'm off to take the young lady back to the beginning of the Labyrinth, just like we planned!

Jareth: Wait! I've got a much better plan, Hoggle. Give her this.

Hoggle: What is it?

Jareth: It's a present.

Hoggle: It ain't gonna hurt the little lady, is it?

Jareth: Oh, why the concern?

Hoggle: I won't do nothin to harm her.

Jareth: Oh, come, come, come, Hogbrain! I'm surprised at you, losing your head over a girl.

Hoggle: I ain't lost my head!

Jareth: You don't think a young girl could like a repulsive little scab like you, do you?

Hoggle: Well, she did say we was...

Jareth: [dangerously] What? Bosom companions? Friends?

Hoggle: It don't matter.

Jareth: [points at the peach angrily] You'll give her that, Hoggle, or I'll dip you straight into the Bog of Eternal Stench before you can blink! And Hoggle! If she ever kisses you, I'll turn you into a prince.

Hoggle: Y-you will?

Jareth: [laughs] Prince of the Land of Stench!

Hoggle: You need to understand my position: I'm a coward. And Jareth scares me.

Sarah: What kind of position is that?

Hoggle: NO position! That's my point! And you wouldn't be so brave if you'd ever smelled the Bog of Eternal Stench. It's, it's...

Sarah: Is that all it does, it smells?

Hoggle: Oh, believe me, that's enough. But the worst thing is, if you so much as put a foot in the Bog of Stench, you'll smell bad for the rest of your life. It'll never wash off.

Jareth: [in disguise as a bird-like beggar] Ahhh.... what have we here?

Hoggle: Uhhh, nothing!

Jareth: [removing his disguise] Nothing? Nothing?! Nothing?! Nothing, tra-la-la?!

Hoggle: Your Majesty! What a NICE surprise.

Jareth: Hello, Hedgewart.

Sarah: Hogwart.

Hoggle: HOG-GLE!

Jareth: Hoggle... can it be that you're helping this girl?

Hoggle: Helping? In what sense?

Jareth: In the sense that you're leading her towards the castle?

Hoggle: No! No! I was taking her back to the beginning your Majesty.

Sarah: What?!

Hoggle: I told her I was gonna help her solve the Labyrinth, a little trickery on my part. But actually--

Jareth: [the bracelet Sarah has just given Hoggle in exchange for being led through the Labyrinth] What IS that plastic thing round your wrist?

Hoggle: [guiltily] Oh...Oh this? Oh, my goodness, where did THIS come from?

Jareth: Higgle...

Hoggle: Hoggle!

Jareth: Yes... If I thought for one second that you were betraying me, I'd be forced to suspend you head-first in the Bog of Eternal Stench.

Hoggle: [grabs Jareth's knees] AH NO, YOUR MAJESTY! NOT THE ETERNAL STENCH!

Jareth: [throws him off] Oh YES, Hoggle! And you, Sarah - how are you enjoying my Labyrinth?

Sarah: It's a piece of cake!

Jareth: [turns the clock forward to only 8 hours left] Really? Then how about upping the stakes hmm?

Sarah: That's not fair!

Jareth: [produces crystal; throws it down the corridor, where it becomes 'The Cleaners'] You say that so often! I wonder what your basis for comparison is. So the Labyrinth's a piece of cake, is it? Well let's see how you deal with this little slice...

False Alarm 1: Don't go on.

False Alarm 2: Go back while you still can.

False Alarm 3: This is not the way.

False Alarm 4: Take heed, and go no further.

False Alarm 5: Beware, beware.

False Alarm 6: Soon it will be too late.

Hoggle: [to Sarah] Don't pay any attention to them. They're just False Alarms. You get a lot of them in the Labyrinth, especially when you're on the right track...

False Alarm 7: Oh, no you're not.

Hoggle: Oh, shut up!

False Alarm 7: Sorry, just doing my job.

Hoggle: Well you don't have to do it to us!

False Alarm 8: Beware, for the...

Hoggle: Just forget it!

False Alarm 8: Oh please, I haven't said it for such a long time!

Hoggle: Oh, all right, but don't expect a big reaction!

False Alarm 8: [clears throat] No no no, of course not! "For the path you will take will lead to certain destruction." Thank you very much...

Hoggle: This is an oubliette. Labyrinth's full of em.

Sarah: Really... how did you know that?

Hoggle: Oh, don't sound so smart! You don't even know what an oubliette is.

Sarah: Do you?

Hoggle: Yes. It's a place you put people... to forget about em!

Hoggle: You know your problem? You take too many things for granted. Take this Labyrinth: even if you get to the centre, you'll never get out again.

Sarah: That's your opinion.

Hoggle: Well, it's a lot better than yours!

Sarah: Thanks for nothing, Hogwart.

Hoggle: [growls] It's HOGGLE, and don't say I didn't warn you!

Sarah: Ow! It bit me!

Hoggle: What'd you expect fairies to do?

Sarah: I thought they did nice things, like granting wishes!

Hoggle: Huh. Shows what you know, don't it?

Stepmother: She treats me like a wicked stepmother in a fairy story, no matter what I say.

Hoggle: The Cleaners, the Bog of Stench—you sure got his attention!

Hoggle: Let's get that rat who calls himself Jareth!

Bird Hat: It is so stimulating being your hat!

Goblin: Your mother is a fraggin aardvark!

Goblin Cannonball: I hit zumzing? Yes? No?

Fiery: It's against the rules to throw other people's heads.

Didymus: You're going the wrong way! The battle's BEHIND us!

Didymus: [as Ambrosius charges out of the gates; a screeching sound is heard and Ambrosius comes back inside; looks at the goblins surrounding him] AMBROSIUS, if you don't turn around this second, I WILL NEVER FEED YOU AGAIN! That's better! Don't worry, Ambrosius, I think we have them surrounded! Now, if you throw down your weapons, I'll see that you're well treated!