Memorable Quotes from Stephen Graham
6 quotesConsequences of Following Unlucky Companions at Sea
Pike
We should have never followed a luckless pirate and a witch to sea.
Bollard
Right, that's it. Kill em all.
Captain Jack Sparrow
Kill me and I'll be dead. And then the other dead won't be able to have their revenge… against me. Being dead.
Scrum
What?
Henry
Which will anger them even more. He's right.
Captain Jack Sparrow
That's right.
Carina
Are all pirates this stupid?
Captain Jack Sparrow
Yes.
Scrum
Yeah.
Bollard
Yeah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Schooling and Accountability in Matilda's Life
Mr. Wormwood
I can't believe that! Talking to me like that. How dare they! I'm getting fined because of you!
[turns to Matilda]
Matilda Wormwood
It's not my fault! You forgot to send me to school.
Mr. Wormwood
Yeah, well you're going to school now, and you're gonna meet The Trunchbull.
Matilda Wormwood
The Trunchbull?
Mr. Wormwood
Agatha Trunchbull. Headmistress of Crunchem Hall.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
It's Time for a Drink
Harry Beechman
What time is it, Ade?
DJ
Tic tac it's a drink o'clock
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Captain's Demands Amidst Empty Promises
Scrum
It's empty! Where's the dosh?!
[After seeing that the bank vault Jack's crew have stolen is empty; the crew groan]
Captain Jack Sparrow
Do you think that robbing a bank is easy? You gaggle of gutless heels of the womb's guilty of putting me in this dreadful pickle in the first place! Now line up and offer me your tribute.
Marty
You want us to pay YOU?!
[He and the other crew members scoff in outrage]
Captain Jack Sparrow
Am I not the captain of this ship?
Cremble
You call THIS a ship?
Bollard
Where's the treasure?
Pike
All of us are starving!
Bollard
We will no longer follow a captain without a ship.
Captain Jack Sparrow
I HAVE a ship! Black Pearl's never left me side.
[Reveals the Black Pearl in a bottle]
Pike
The pirate Barbossa rules these seas now. Has ten ships, guns full.
Cremble
Not to mention his cannonballs; 18 pounds each, they say.
Captain Jack Sparrow
One-legged man with 18 pound balls? That's why he walks funny. Oh, come, come, mates! Did we not find the treasure of Macedonia together?
[The crew sigh in disappointment]
Cremble
It was a troll of rotten wood!
Captain Jack Sparrow
Gold of King Midas!
Scrum
Pile of donkey dung!
Gibbs
Face it, Jack, bad luck dogs you day and night.
Captain Jack Sparrow
That is a blatant fabrication!
[Bird poop lands on Jack's shoulder]
Cremble
You've lost your luck.
Bollard
You've lost your ship.
Marty
And now, you've lost your crew.
Pike
Jack Sparrow is no longer our captain!
[The crew leaves the Dying Gull as Gibbs approach Jack]
Gibbs
I'm sorry, Jack, but we've reached the end of the horizon.
[Sympathetic; Pats Jack's shoulder and then follows the crew, leaving Jack stunned and heartbroken]
Captain Jack Sparrow
Right then! YOU'RE ALL DISMISSED!!! EH?! ALL OF YOU, DISMISSED!!! YOU'LL NEVER SAIL WITH CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW AGAIN, TELL YOU THAT!!!
[Yelling]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Value of Expertise and Humility
Carina
My calculations are precise and true. I'm not just an astronomer. I'm also a horologist.
Captain Jack Sparrow
No shame in that, dear. We all have to make a living.
Carina
No, I'm a horologist.
Scrum
So was my mum. Although she didn't crow about it quite as loud as you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Family's Unconventional Conversation About School
Matilda Wormwood
Do you want to hear about my first day at school?
Mrs. Wormwood
Yuck. I'd rather eat vegetables.
Mr. Wormwood
It's official, I'm a genius! My losing streak is over. This fella comes into the lot. Huge he was. Great big bear of a man. And this bear of a man wants a luxury car.
Mrs. Wormwood
Oh, lovely. But do bears drive?
Mr. Wormwood
No. He's not a real bear.
Matilda Wormwood
Do you have a luxury car?
Mr. Wormwood
I've got two, boy.
Matilda Wormwood
I'm a girl.
Mr. Wormwood
One with a smashed-in front, and one with a smashed-in back. All I gotta do is cut them in half, glue them together and Bob's your chipmunk. Daddy's back.
Matilda Wormwood
But isn't that illegal? And sort of, well, wrong?
[Mrs. Wormwood gasps]
Mr. Wormwood
What'd he say? Wrong? Wrong? Give me that. The Grapes of...Idiot! How can grapes be angry? Hey? What utter junk!
[snatches the library book out of Matilda's hand]
Matilda Wormwood
It's not about grapes.
Mrs. Wormwood
Back-yakking! The little madam!
Matilda Wormwood
I'm not back-yakking!
Mr. Wormwood
Don't you back-yak me! I'll rip this book up in front of you.
Matilda Wormwood
No, it's a library book!
Mrs. Wormwood
Go on, do it. Go on.
Mr. Wormwood
There! There! Now get to bed, you little bookworm.
[tears the pages of the library book]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.