Steve Guttenberg Quotes

Jack Bonner You're my favorite Martian.

Jack Bonner I wouldn't accuse you of dishonesty! I accuse you of being from another planet, but an honest planet!

Newton Crosby There's a priest, a minister, and a rabbi. They're out playing ], and they're trying to decide how much to give to ]. So the priest says, "We'll draw a circle on the ground, we'll throw the ] way up in the air, and whatever lands inside the circle, we give to charity." The minister says, "No. We'll draw a circle on the ground, throw the money way up in the air, and whatever lands outside of the circle, that's what we'll give to charity." The rabbi says "No, no, no. We'll throw the money way up in the air, and whatever ] wants, he keeps!

Stephen Klein You can't see it... you can't feel it... and you can't taste it. But it's here, right now, all around us. It's goin through you like an ]. Right into your ]! What do you think killed all these ]!?

Jack Bonner I hope you're not gonna to take your skin off! Cause I really like skin on a woman!

Jack Bonner Look, I don't want to get rough with you, pal, but I'm not talking half the money.

Passenger Alright then, give it back.

Jack Bonner Hey, what are you... Just... Get your ass off my boat, man. Get your ass off my boat. Do you believe this? And, take your embarrassing beach towel with you.

Newton Crosby Originally I had non-military purposes in mind. I designed it as a marital aid.

Roger Callaway I made my money the old fashion way - pure dumb luck.

Tim Carson That's it! You have a overactive imagination, it is time to grow up!

Jack Bonner If this is foreplay, I'm a dead man!

Jack Bonner I'm in the water... far from shore. It's at night... and they have my boat.... Shit.

Denise Dahlberg You attend the ] in Lawrence? Do you know Bruce Gallatin? He's my fiancee. He's a senior over there.

Stephen Klein No.

Denise Dahlberg But you're from Lawrence, so that must mean that Bruce is all right.

Stephen Klein Well...I don't know what happened to Lawrence. I was pretty close to Harrisonville when it all started. There must have been five or six of those mushroom cloud explosions to the north in and around Kansas City, and... a whole string of them to the south.

Jim Dahlberg They must have hit every missile silo from Sedalia to Eldorado Springs.

Jack Bonner I've had all kinds of people on this boat. All races, all nationalities, all creeds. Oh my God, I can't believe it won't start!