Memorable Quotes from Teri Polo
2 quotesConcerns Over Parenting Choices and Teething Remedies
Jack Byrnes
I don't care if they did call you Larry Poppins. You are completely unfit to handle a child.
Greg Focker
It was Barry Poppins.
Jack Byrnes
What kind of a sick cocktail were you going to make my grandson?
Roz Focker
Jack, the baby's teething. I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain.
Jack Byrnes
It was your idea?
Roz Focker
Yes.
Jack Byrnes
What is wrong with you people?!
Bernie Focker
You people?
Dina Byrnes
I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums.
Jack Byrnes
Yeah! Look what happened to him. Greg, you couldn't follow a simple set of instructions?
Greg Focker
Jack, he was screaming. So I went in and I gave him a little attention. Okay?
Jack Byrnes
He's learning to self-soothe. These setbacks are disastrous for his development.
Roz Focker
The child is adorable, but you're not raising Little Buddha over here.
Greg Focker
Mom...
Jack Byrnes
What are you saying?
Roz Focker
I'm saying that I have seen that kid eat at least 15 boogers since he's been here. And I've got news for you, Jack,. Prodigies don't eat their own boogers.
Jack Byrnes
And I have news for you. Prodigies don't come in 10th place every time either.
Pam Byrnes
Okay, Dad. That's my fiancee.
Jack Byrnes
I'm sorry. It's just that I've never seen people celebrate mediocrity the way you do.
Roz Focker
Why? Because we love our son? We hug our son? Let's get down to it. The truth is, you're so concerned about that Little Jack, but I think that it's the Little Jack in you that is crying out for a hug.
Jack Byrnes
The Little Jack in me?
[Greg is getting extremely frustrated]
Roz Focker
Jack, you have issues. I'm trying to understand why you run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest. I mean, were you ever breastfed?
Greg Focker
Mom, stop.
Bernie Focker
Key question!
Roz Focker
My guess is no.
Jack Byrnes
Would you spare me the drugstore psychology?
Greg Focker
Everybody! All right. Everybody just... Everybody just STOP! Okay?! Jack, I'm not going to make any excuses. Yes, Little Jack wouldn't stop crying, so I gave him some hugs and I let him watch TV. I went to answer the phone, I was gone a second, I came back in, he let himself out of the playpen, he put on Scarface, and he glued his hands to the rum bottle. Okay? That's it.
[everyone starts arguing; the arguing stops]
Jack
Oh, that's it! Greg just said that's it, so I feel much better now.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Take on Love and Relationships
Greg Focker
Hello everybody. I am, uh, about to set sail on my ship... on the sea of life with my first mate - the beautiful Pamela Byrnes.
[high on Truth Serum, giving a speech]
Pam Byrnes
Love you, baby!
[blows kiss]
Greg Focker
I still masturbate to Pam. What? She's hot - check out those boobs. I just wanna lather em up with soap and... rub my face in em. I could take a vacation in there. What? Gosh, sorry for you being perfect! And there's another wonderful lady in the audience, my future mother-in-law Dina Byrnes! Dina-Dina-Bo-Bina-I-love-Dina! Byrnes! You know they say you can tell from looking at the mother what your wife will look like in the future - well, I'ma looking, and I'm-a LIKIN... In my first... passionate sexual awakening, I made sweet, sweet love to my housekeeper, Isabel.
[drunkenly blows back kiss, pauses; blabbers incoherently; sees Jorge]
Pam Byrnes
Come on, honey, that was in the past, so sit down.
Greg Focker
No, no, no, baby - I gotta get this off my chest.
Pam Byrnes
Please... sit.
Greg Focker
We conceived a child. And his name is Jorge Villalobos. Come on up here, Jorge. This is the fruit of my loins. Come on! Search your feelings, Jorge. You know it to be true. Yo soy tu papa! Yeah, I know, a lot of information to take in. Give that boy a hand. Oh, and Jack? PAM'S PREGNANT. Focker out!
[everyone applauds; Pam gasps in horror; falls backward and passing out]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.