Tim Blake NelsonQuotes

Gloria: What was that?

Garth: A helicopter.

Gloria: What with like the pilot and everything?

Gloria: I’m going to show you guys something.

Garth: Gloria, you’ve got to see this, it’s dancing.” Referring to the giant monster dancing.

Gloria: It’s dancing like…

Oscar: Holy shit!

Garth: Have you ever noticed how it just keeps destroying everything in its path but it never looks down. It’s like it’s being operated by remote control.

Danny Dalton: [to lawyer Bennett Holiday] Some trust fund prosecutor, got off-message at Yale, thinks he's gonna run this up the flagpole, make a name for himself, maybe get elected some two-bit, congressman from nowhere, with the result that Russia or China can suddenly start having, at our expense, all the advantages we enjoy here. No, I tell you. No, sir! Corruption charges! Corruption?!! Corruption is government intrusion into market efficiencies in the form of regulations. That's Milton Friedman. He got a goddamn Nobel Prize. We have laws against it precisely so we can get away with it. Corruption is our protection. Corruption keeps us safe and warm. Corruption is why you and I are prancing around in here instead of fighting over scraps of meat out in the streets. Corruption is why we win.

Male Reporter: Mystery Inc., do you know the identity of the Evil Masked Figure behind at all?

Velma: Well, if our hunch is correct, the Evil Masked Figure is…

Evil Masked Figure/Heather: NO!

Daphne: Heather Jasper-Howe.

Scooby: Uh-huh. Huh?

Female Reporter #1: But she was at the museum when the Masked Figure was on the roof.

Daphne: [to Heather; Instead of looking at Patrick, who has braced himself for exposure, Daphne points at someone else] You almost had me there, didn't you? Lucky for her, she had an assistant helping her along with her evil plans. Ned.

Scooby: Huh?

Daphne: When I realized she was the Evil Masked Figure, he quickly changed into her costume.

Female Reporter #2: But why did she do it?!

Velma: Because Heather Jasper-Howe is actually… (Pause for effect.)

Scooby: Huh?

Velma: [a female police officer, Shaggy, Daphne, and Wickles get shocked] …Dr. Jonathan Jacobo. The original Pterodactyl Ghost.

Gretchen Saunders Female Reporter #3: But how do you know this?

Velma: A photo. Taken of Jacobo in front of the Coolsonian. Jacobo supposedly died a year before construction even began.

Shaggy: So, Jacobo survived that fall off the prison wall.

Scooby: Yeah.

Fred: He also adapted the false Heather Jasper-Howe persona to turn the press against us.

Daphne: Then he framed poor hideous Old Man Wickles by putting that book and the Black Knight Ghost in his mansion.

Wickles: [[w:My Fair Lady|My Fair Lady] As if you getting the lead in ] wasn't enough!

Jacobo: I was an excellent Eliza, and you were to acty!

Wickles: And stealing my tater tots!

Jacobo: You kept saying you felt puffy!

Fred: And the real identity of Ned is…

Ned: Ow!

Fred: Ned!

Scooby: Huh?

Jacobo: I would've gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling punks and their dumb dog!

Ned: You were a dude this whole time?

Jacobo: Of course, dummkopf.

Ned: [upset] But we cuddled.

Lara Anderton: I'd like a word with my husband.

Gideon: You're not authorized. How did you get in here?

Gideon: Careful, Chief. You dig up the past, all you get is dirty.

Gideon: You're a part of my flock now, John. Welcome. It's actually kind of a rush. They say you have visions. That your life flashes before your eyes. That all your dreams come true.

Lycon: It's like my daddy used to say: in the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

Dr. Solomon Eddie: You do understand I can't just give you new irises. The scanners will read the scar tissue, alarms will go off, and large men with guns will appear …

Wally the Caretaker: I like you, Chief. You've always been nice to me. I'll give you two minutes before I hit the alarm.