Timothy OlyphantQuotes

Kelly: Sometimes in life if you wanna do something good, you gotta do something bad.

Matthew: Yeah, but this is breaking and entering.

Kelly: This is politics.

Kelly: [Upon observing the cheerleaders and football players] Man, there is some talent here. You get those girls together with those assbags right there and shoot em humping at, like, a football game or at a prom, that video would sell - Fuck, I'm good! How do I get these ideas? It's like a gift, you know? It's like I can't control it.

Kelly: You wanna be president? Lemme tell you the first rule of politics; Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze. You know what that means? It means you don't steal my girl unless you're ready to accept the consequences.

Kelly: [When some high school girls like the idea that Kelly has weed; hits Klitz; Kelly gives Klitz a Ziplock bag filled with Marijuana and suddenly the girls are interested in him] Hey, you know who's got the killer bud? This fucker right here.

Thomas Gabriel: On your tombstone, it should read, "Always in the wrong place at the wrong time"!

John McClane: How about, "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker"?!

Thomas Gabriel: Mai, talk to me. What's going on?

John McClane: Mai? Oh yeah, the scrawny little Asian chick, likes to kick people? I don't think she's going to be talking to anyone for a very long time. Last time I saw her, she was at the bottom of an elevator shaft with an SUV rammed up her ass. Listen, jackass; your fire sale is over. Just pack up your little circus, or I'm gonna come and I'm gonna kick your ass.

Thomas Gabriel: [seethingly] You. Have no idea. Who I am, or what. I am capable of! When I'm finished here - and I promise it'll be soon! - I will focus. All my attention. On you! You want to make things personal, fine!

John McClane: [checking out a Boba Fett stand-up poster] Nice poster.

Warlock: What, like you a big fan of The Fett?

John McClane: No. I was always more of a Star Wars kinda guy.

Warlock: [Annoyed and disbelieving at McClane's stupidity] A "Star Wars kinda guy"?!

Matt Farrell: That's her!

John McClane: Her" who?

Agent Johnson: What're you talking about?

Matt Farrell: It's them.

John McClane: Are you saying it's "them" them?

Matt Farrell: [McClane picks up his handset] I swear to you, I know her! I would know her voice anywhere! Don't say anything! Don't...

John McClane: [speaks into the radio. Mai, along with Gabriel and several other henchmen, listen in] Just keep your mouth shut for a minute. Hey, Metro, how's your day going over there? Gotta be pretty, uh, crazy over there, what with all those 587s, huh?

Mai Linh: Yes sir; we've had to dispatch all units.

John McClane: Yeah, you had to dispatch all units for all the naked people walking around? Cut the bullshit, honey, just put your boss on.

Thomas Gabriel: [over radio] Officer McClane.

John McClane: [Trey begins pulling up information on McClane on his computers] It's Detective McClane, asshole. Don't worry, though, we're gonna have plenty of time to get to know each other when I come visit you in prison.

Thomas Gabriel: [looks at Holly Gennaro-McClane's license plate and other personal details; reads McClane's pension fund; presses a button that wipes out McClane's 401k] But, John, I already know so much about you: your address in Brooklyn; payments on your mortgage; how long you've been a member of the NYPD; and how's Holly? Well that's sad - you're divorced. Was that tough on little Jack and Lucy? Now this is sad: after 30 years I'd have thought you'd have a better pension plan than what I see here. Oh, and it gets worse: your 401k no longer exists! Tell you what, let me make it up to you: shoot Mr. Farrell in the head and drive away, and by the time you reach the end of the next block, all your debts will be wiped clean, and your children will be set for life.