Memorable Quotes from Tina Fey
14 quotesStruggling with Unexpected Brightness and Reality
Claire Foster
Why is it so bright out here? It's supposed to be dark and seedy. Give a 40 year old stripper-slash-mom a break.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Limits in A.P. Calculus Class
Ms. Norbury
Welcome to A.P. Calculus. Congratulations. You know more math than 85% of Americans. But you will not rest on your laurels this year. I plan to push you. So let’s get started. Chapter One, “Limits and Their Properties.” What the heck are limits, you say? If I write out the equation,“The limit as x approaches two of ,” the function is what we’re taking the limit of. I don’t expect you to know how to do this yet.
[x + 1]
Cady
The limit equals three.
Ms. Norbury
That’s right. Let’s try another one. Find the value of k for which the following limit exists.
Cady
K equals negative three.
Student
Damn, girl!
Ms. Norbury
Wow.
Aaron
Are you trying to make the rest of us feel dumb?
[''Turns around in front of her and Cady is smitten'']
Cady
No, I... I’m not trying to. It’s just, uh, happening.
Aaron
Oh, okay, it’s like that. All right, um, well... challenge accepted.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Interference in Parents' Romantic Life
Kate Ellis
Did we just cock block our parents?
[the sisters have visited their parents uninvited only to realize that they are otherwise engaged]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Introducing a New Student in Class
Mr. Duvall
Hope you all had a good summer. Mine was pretty good. I worked in my brother-in-law’s golf pro shop. Did not make a lot of money, so of course I am back to help shepherd you all into the future. May I have everyone’s attention, please? Eyes to the front of the room. You may notice we have a new student joining us today. She just moved here from ].
[''Holds a trash can for a student to spit gum in who complies''; ''turns student's phone down to table''; ''Knocks desk of sleeping student who wakes''; [w:Kentucky|Kentucky]
Cady
].
[[w:Kenya|Kenya]
Mr. Duvall
Kenya. Her name is Caddy.
Cady
It’s Cady. Cady Heron.
Mr. Duvall
My apologies. I will commit that to memory. Cady, like the Canadian songstress ], and Heron, like ]. Thank you, Caddy.
[[w:k.d. lang|k.d. lang; [w:heroin|the illegal street drug]
Cady
It’s Cady.
Ms. Norbury
Cady, hi. I’m Ms. Norbury. I’ll be your homeroom teacher. This is your roster. I see I also have you for A.P. Calculus. You must have had excellent teachers at your old school.
[''Shakes her hand''; ''Holds out paper'']
Cady
Oh, I was homeschooled.
Ms. Norbury
Homeschooled? Oh, that’s a fun way to ]. No, I’m joking. It’s fine. Ah. Um, do you think you can follow this schedule?
[[w:List of education trade unions|take jobs from my union]
Cady
Yeah, I think so.
Ms. Norbury
Okay, you’re gonna be moving from class to class with each...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Boundaries in Sisterly Relationships
Kate Ellis
Get your peanut butter out of my sister's chocolate.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Family and Freedom
Nadya
It would appear you were right, Kermit. I guess this is your family. And families belong together. You are free to go. Forever.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Response to Immaturity
Kate Ellis
You're so full of shit, I'm gonna buy you Pull-Ups.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expert on Prison Movies and Escape Tactics
Nadya
Give up, frog. I have Netflix account with search keywords "prison escape". I have seen every prison movie ever made. Even the ones in space.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Warning Against Frog Handling
Nadya
Put the frog down! Or I will deploy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Chaos Unfolds in Life
Kate Ellis
What fresh fuckery is this?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Parentage Inquiry
Kate Ellis
Do you have any kids?
Tattooed Bodybuilder
I'm sure I do.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Selfishness in the Gulag
Nadya
No one believes in family in the gulag, frog. People are only ever out for themselves.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Loyalty to the Amphibian Prince
Nadya
You are always right, my beautiful amphibian prince. I will never let you go.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Brassy Confidence in Self-Identification
Kate Ellis
I'm not a hothead, I'm brassy!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.