Tom Waits Quotes

Wristcutters: A Love Story

Brainwashed Choices in Afterlife Conversations

Yan They feed him t-bone steak and he refuses to come back.

Kneller Freddy has been brainwashed.

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Down by Law

A Reflection on a Sad, Beautiful World

Roberto Is a sad and beautiful world.

Zack Yeah, it's a sad and beautiful world... that's a good one. Yeah, yeah... buzz off.

Roberto Ah, thank you, Buzz off to you too.

Zack No... buzz off!

Roberto Ah, "buzz off". b-u-z-z o-f-f... Buzz off... Is, uh, "is a sad and beautiful world", "Good evening. Buzz off to everybody" "Oh, thank you, buzz off to you too." Oh, it's a pleasure. Thank you.

[writing]

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Rumble Fish

Perceptions of Sanity and Madness

Rusty How can you tell if someone is crazy?

Benny Can't always... Depends on how many think he's crazy.

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Down by Law

Directions and Uncertainty in Conversation

Jack Yeah.

Zack I don't see a sign around or anything.

Jack Well, she said the one on the right goes west.

Zack She said she didn't know.

Jack Look, man, it don't matter to me. You go - whichever way you want. Right?

Zack Right.

Jack And I'll go the other way.

Zack Yeah, right.

Jack Right.

Zack Yeah, right.

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Down by Law

Innocence Amidst Injustice in Prison

Roberto So, Jack. Jack, why, why are you put in this prison?

Jack I don't know, Bob. It was voodoo or somethin', you know. - I was framed. I was completely innocent. You understand?

Roberto Yes. You are innocent man. I understand. And you, my friend, Jack, why are you put in this prison?

Zack I was set up, Bob. Just like Jack. I am - an innocent man.

Roberto I see. You too are a innocent man.

Zack So, Bob...

Roberto Yes?

Zack For why are you in this prison put?

Roberto Me? I killed a man.

Zack You killed a man, huh? What'd you do that for, Bob? The guy didn't like ]?

[[Walt Whitman]

Roberto I never ask-a to dis man if he like-a de Walt Whitman.

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Wristcutters: A Love Story

A Conversation About Steak Thickness

Kneller T-bone steak?

Yan 16 ounces, thick cut.

Kneller Dammit.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Down by Law

Unexpected Encounters in Troubling Times

Preston Zack! Hey man! What the fuck ya doin here in the garbage?

Zack Just leave me alone, Preston. I'm in a bad mood.

[without looking at Preston]

Preston Then I'm just the man you've been looking for. In fact, I've been looking for you.

Zack That's a bad sign.

Preston Now, Zack, baby! I got somethin real good for you. An hour's work for a whole lotta scratch.

Zack I ain't interested.

Preston Then you ARE in a bad mood. You won't even let me propose it to you. Can you just listen to me for one minute, will ya? One minute of your, uh... valuable time?

Zack Just fuck off, Preston.

[sighs in exasperation]

Preston All I wanna do is pay you a grand, in exchange of a single hour of your very very valuable time. But this ain't no break in, no delivery of controlled substances, none of this stuff. It's just to drive a car, from one part of town to another, alone. That's it.

[chuckles and acts like he's going to walk away from him, but then goes back to him]

Zack What kind of car will that be, Preston?

Preston That will be a very nice car. A very nice, very expensive imported car, which just happens to be in between owners at the present time.

Preston Look man, all you gotta do is drive the car across town, park it, leave it. I can pay half grand upfront, and the other half later. The whole thing's over in an hour! It's very safe, very clean, and believe me, I can get a million guys to do this for me.

Zack Then why don't you do it yourself?

Preston I'm offerin a grand so I don't have to answer stupid questions like that.

Zack Well... I might consider the grand up front... then I might think about it.

Preston Jesus! Zack... you are in a nasty mood. So just to cheer you up a little bit, I give you 750 upfront. OK?

[pause]

Preston Alright, alright, Mr. All-Mighty-Hot-Shit. I'm gonna do you this favor.

[he gives Zack the keys of the car]

Zack Oh man! A Jaguar!

[impressed]

Preston I'll give you the whole thing up front.

[he gives Zack the money]

Preston Now you owe me. Zack, you know you can buy yourself twenty girls for all of that?

[long pause]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Licorice Pizza

Power and Authenticity in Leadership

Rex Blau You shiny, gold, tall, inexpensive prick!

Joel Wachs All that we need are people in positions of power to remember to be who they were when they were voted in.

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Wristcutters: A Love Story

Communication and Confusion Among Characters

Kneller Come on, Freddy! Come on!

[Waving a stuffed animal in front of Freddy]

Messiah Don't do that.. you're confusing him.

Messiah The dog has spoken.

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Rumble Fish

The Perception of Time in Youth and Age

Benny Time is a funny thing. Time is a very peculiar item. You see when you're young, you're a kid, you got time, you got nothing but time. Throw away a couple of years, a couple of years there... it doesn't matter. You know. The older you get you say, "Jesus, how much I got? I got thirty-five summers left." Think about it. Thirty-five summers.!!!!!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Wristcutters: A Love Story

The Value of Uniqueness in Adversity

Kneller Once upon a time there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. And they grew next to each other. And every day the straight tree would look at the crooked tree and he would say, "You're crooked. You've always been crooked and you'll continue to be crooked. But look at me! Look at me!" said the straight tree. He said, "I'm tall and I'm straight." And then one day the lumberjacks came into the forest and looked around, and the manager in charge said, "Cut all the straight trees." And that crooked tree is still there to this day, growing strong and growing strange.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Down by Law

Existence and Reality in Confinement

Jack Guard! I need a light here. I can't believe this. Guard! Guard! Guard! Guard! Guard! Guard! Guard! What am I doin in here?

[speaking to himself]

Zack Can't you see? You are not the only innocent asshole in here. I was set up too. Just like you. Just like you.

Jack I am not just like you; whatever you say. I don't even want to deal with you. You got it? As far as I'm concerned, you don't even exist. Not at all. Got it?

Zack Well, you don't exist either. Walls don't exist. The floor doesn't exist. This stress is not here. These bunks aren't here. Bars aren't here. None of this is really here. None of this is really here at all.

Wristcutters: A Love Story

Miracles in an Unconventional World

Zia He was floating in the air..

Kneller I wouldn't pay attention to what happens all the time around here.

Zia What happens? Miracles?

Kneller Yeah. People floating in the air, like, uh, people turning stones into plants, or, changing the color of different objects.

Zia Fixing the headlights, maybe?

Kneller What do you mean, fixing the headlights?

Zia His headlights have been broken for ages, and she fixed them not far from here just by touching a button.

[To Kneller]

Kneller Oh. Yeah, something small and insignificant like that.

Down by Law

Confronting Fear of Commitment

Laurette Look at you, Zack. Look what you're doin to yourself. You're diggin your own grave. Why can't you just stay at one station for awhile? Why do you always got to go fuck up your own future, huh? What are you so afraid of, Zack?

Zack Yeah, well, that's right, alright. You can't live in the present forever.

Short Cuts

Escalating Tensions in a Frustrated Argument

Doreen Piggot Why don't you go get drunk and pee all over...

Earl Piggot I'm gonna get drunk! I'm gonna get drunk right now! Ah dammit!

Short Cuts

Confrontation Between Earl and Doreen Piggot

Earl Piggot You know, I don't know who you think would wanna look at your sad, middle aged ass anymore!

Doreen Piggot Don't talk to me like that and don't you come back here! I'm not taking you back no more, understand? No more! I'm not taking you back!

Earl Piggot I'm not COMING back!

Doreen Piggot Slobbering over Honey like that. It was so embarrassing...

Earl Piggot I never touched Honey!

Doreen Piggot I didn't say you touched her, I said you slobbered on her!

Down by Law

Fashion and Humor in Unlikely Conversations

Jack This is how you dressed before you were in the joint, right? Sort of garbage man on parade.

[swapping clothes with Zack]

Zack You, uh, plannin on doin a little squirrel huntin', Jack?

Memorable Quotes from Tom Waits