The Happiest Millionaire - A Husband's Plea for Family Support
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [singing]
I've been bit on my finger! It could've been my leg! It could've been my head, I might've died! In a time of mortal peril, any man should expect that his family will come rushing to his side! What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? My family rushing to my side, what's wrong with that?
John Lawless: [confused]
Oh, not a thing, sir, I'm sure.
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [singing; walks away]
I'm a good-hearted husband, I'm generous and kind, no wife could have a life as free of cares! So when a good-hearted husband has been bit, it's only right, that his wife should share the agony he bears! What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? I want my wife to share my life, what's wrong with that? Cordelia!
John Lawless: [to the audience]
Well, now, that answers a whole slew o questions, don't it?
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The Happiest Millionaire - Aspiring Immigrant Enters High Society
John Lawless: [singing]
Well, now, ain't this an elegant neighborhood, all the residents dressed so fine! One day off the boat am I, with a job that's nearly mine! Tis a job with an elegant millionaire, and his elegant family! Today I move from immigrant - to high society!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Happiest Millionaire - A Comical Misunderstanding About Open Windows
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [panicking]
JOHN! My alligators! Look at my alligators! JOHN!
John Lawless:
Yes, sir, you yelled, sir?
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [closing windows]
Why are these windows open?
John Lawless: [also closing windows]
Must've been the new maid, sir.
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle:
WHAT new maid?
Miss Cordelia Biddle:
Her name is Florence, dear, she started this afternoon.
John Lawless:
She was complaining about the smell.
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle:
What smell?
John Lawless:
Well, the alligators, they do have a certain...
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [threateningly]
WHAT?
Miss Cordelia Biddle: [soothingly]
We're accustomed to it, dear.
John Lawless: [closing the last window]
She probably decided to give the room an airing, and forgot to close up again.
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle: [angrily]
Well, of all the stupid, idiotic... Get an axe!
Mrs. Cordelia Biddle: [shocked]
Anthony!
Anthony J. Drexel Biddle:
Not for Florence, for the alligators! Maybe they're still alive in there, we'll chop em out!
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The Happiest Millionaire - Cultural Identity and Belonging
John Lawless: [singing]
The night before I sailed away, they come from far and near. All me friends, and all me kin, to share a partin tear. We knew we'd never meet again, and yet twas clear to see, I'd always be a part o them, and them a part of me! I'll always be Irish, cause that's ow I began! I'll always be Irish, I'll say that to any man! And when I'm an American, I'll be a good one too... I'll be truly as American as Irish stew!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Happiest Millionaire - A Chocolate Cake Diet Discussion
John Lawless:
Now there's a gorgeous night! Are you getting ready for a party, Mrs. Worth?
Mrs. Worth: [seriously]
No, Mr. Biddle's on a chocolate cake diet.
John Lawless:
I beg your pardon?
Mrs. Worth:
He says it's the perfect food, containing "every essential element.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.