Travis TedfordQuotes

Spanky: Hey, everybody. Uh-Huh's learned a new word!

Stymie: You did it, Alfalfa! You won!

Alfalfa: We did it! All of us!

Froggy: Gentlemen, let's give Alfalfa a big "Spoley-oley"!

Kids: Spoley-oley! Spoley-oley! Spoley-oley! Spoley-oley! Spoley-oley! Spoley-oley! Spoley-oley! Spoley-oley!

Alfalfa: Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you...

Butch: It ain't right! We go through all the trouble of stealing your racer, and you still win! Better brace yourself, because now I'm really gonna kick your butt!

Alfalfa: I'm usually a lover, not a fighter, but in your case I'm willing to make an exception.

Butch: Pig puckey!

Woim: Allow me!

Stymie: Looking good, man.

Kids: Yeah.

Spanky: Hey, there's the guy who risked his neck for us!

Alfalfa: I gotta admit, he turned out to be pretty okay, darn it.

Spanky: Put it in there, pal. You're quite a guy. Us machismo types have a club. The He-Man Woman-Haters Club. Alfalfa, I'm extending a membership offer here. Now, what is it?

Alfalfa: That's not Waldo!

Waldo: You'll be hearing from my lawyers.

Spanky: Then who's this guy who saved our butts?

Darla: Hi, guys. What's up?

Spanky: A girl! Ohh!

Stymie: Well, don't that beat all.

Alfalfa: Spanky!

Alfalfa: Is Spanky home?

Mr. McFarland: I'm sorry, Alfalfa. Spanky isn't here.

Mr. Switzer: I'm sorry, Spanky. Alfalfa's not here.

Spanky: Darn!

Alfalfa: Darn!

Spanky: Hey!

Froggy: Well, hello, Mr. Bubbles.

Spanky: That's the most disgusting display she-man woman loving I've ever seen!

Alfalfa: Don't talk to me, you Benedict Arnold! You-You Judas Priest! This is all your fault!

Spanky: All my fault?!

Froggy: You torched the clubhouse.

Spanky: And it's all my fault?! Say, you're supposed to be guardin the go-cart, you muzak-warbling wimp!

Alfalfa: [runs to show the Rascals the go-cart, but it's not there] Relax, you double-crossing mud muncher! I parked it right over there! It was right here!

Spanky: Well, where is it?

Stymie: Boy, you're messin up left and right.

Spanky: That's it, you sissified tweety bird! I wish I had a club to throw you out of!

Rascal 1: Me, too!

Alfalfa: [Spanky gasps; storms off] Well, you sewage-swinging slime ball! If there still was a club, I QUIT!!! Hmph!

Rascal 2: Good!

Rascal 3: What a wimp!

Rascal 4: Yeah!

Alfafa: [he and Spanky are offstage and head out the door] Let's get out of here! Good thing I finally caught that frog.

Spanky: Yes. Now all you need to concern about is warts!

Ms. Roberts: [storms up to Spanky] You've ruined my recital, you ragamuffin!

Spanky: I'll distract them while you make a getaway.

Alfalfa: Thanks, Spanky. You sure are a pal.

Spanky: Hello, again.

Buckwheat: Nothing like a security system to give you peace of mind.

Spanky: [disguised as a ballerina in a brunette wig] Hiya, fellas!

Butch: Say, you two chicklets see a couple of ugly mugs who ran in here?

Alfalfa: [in a blonde wig; Spanky pinches him] You mean behind you? I think they went in there.

Spanky: [hey watch Butch and Woim walk in on Ms. Roberts. She frustratingly ushers the bullies out the door] Whew. Let's ange-chay and am-scray!

Alfalfa: [pushes the exit door] You took the words right out of my mouth.

Darla: Hi!

Girl: Are you a Sugar Plum fairy?

Alfalfa: [nods. Sweat beads are beginning to form on his forehead. And the frog. He has been holding the frog in his hand all this time] Pardon me. I'm sweating like a pig. It's the recital.

Darla: [gives Alfalfa her handkerchief. He wipes the sweat off his forehead. And then he scrubs underneath his arms. After he's done, he offers the handkerchief back to her] Here's my handkerchief. Uh, you keep it. I'm emotional as well. My boyfriend Waldo is going to be here.

Mary Ann: [grins knowingly] He's driving her to his mansion for tea.

Darla: Do you have any boyfriends?

Boys: No!

Alfalfa: But, there is one boy I'd love to get to know. His name is Alfalfa.

Darla: I used to know on Alfalfa. He took the best years of my life!

Spanky: Same here.

Darla: I don't miss him at all. Except...his voice. If he sings, he makes me melt like a popsicle on the Fourth of July!

Spanky: Thank you my good man!

Mr. Welling: [writing] Six kids, hardworking father, honest and trustworthy. Loan...denied.

Spanky: Hello, my good man.

Mr. Welling: Gentlemen, uh, have a seat.

Spanky: [to Froggy, who is holding him up under the coat] Can we sit down?

Froggy: Are you kidding?

Spanky: We can't sit down my good man.

Mr. Welling: And what may I do for you?

Stymie: We wanna take out a hefty loan.

Mr. Welling: Course, of course. Do you have an account with us?

Stymie: [nods] And how!

Mr. Welling: What is your account...number?

Spanky: Uh, seven.

Mr. Welling: Seven?...seven?

Froggy: Try eight.

Spanky: Eight?

Mr. Welling: [pulls the fake beards on Stymie and Spanky] Heard enough.

Spanky and Stymie: Ouch!

Mr. Welling: If you were my kids, I'd punish you!

Mr. Welling: Leave the premises post haste!

Spanky: You can't treat people this way, Mister!

Mr. Welling: You're not people, you're kids!

Alfalfa: Why am I soaking wet?

Porky: Don't worry, Alfalfa. I used to have the same problem.

Spanky: It's just a hole in the tent.

Stymie: [takes charge. He picks up his gavel, really a can of beans tied to a stick, and smashes it down on the podium] Gentlemen and gentlemen, I give you our president, Spanky!

Spanky: [whispering; eventually, he arrives at the podium. He takes a deep breath] How are you? Nice to see you. Your fly's undone. Vice president Stymie, lead the men in the Pledge of Our Lesions.

Stymie: I, Stymie...

Boys: I, Stymie...

Stymie: ...Member in good standing of the He-Man Woman Haters Club...

Boys: Member in good standing of the He-Man Woman Haters Club...

Stymie: ...Do solemnly swear to be a he-man and hate women and not play with them or talk to them unless I have to. And especially: never fall in love. And if I do, may I die slowly and painfully and suffer for hours - or until I scream bloody murder.