Memorable Quotes from Vince Vaughn
54 quotesConfidence in Dance Skills
Jeremy Grey
Oh please! You and I both know I'm a phenomenal dancer!
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The Constant Presence of Complexity
Ricky Slade
A lot going on. But there always is, isn't there? A lot going on.
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Confronting Fear in Unexpected Situations
Jeremy Grey
I don’t think that you’re appreciating the urgency here. Not only is she a virgin, she’s totally off the reservation. I’m terrified of this broad.
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The Purpose of a Hobby
Norman Bates
A hobby should pass the time, not fill it.
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Direct Challenge in Competitive Sports
Peter La Fleur
It's time to put your mouth where our balls are.
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Believability in One's Appearance
Norman Bates
I think I must have one of those faces you can't help believing.
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The Joy of Humor in Relationships
Jeremy Grey
It feels so good when he jokes.
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Witty Remark on Timing and Activities
Peter La Fleur
Hey, White. I didn't think Nazi camp got out until eight. Did you decide to skip arts and crafts?
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The Importance of Having Goals
Peter La Fleur
I found that if you have a goal, you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I've gotta tell you, it feels phenomenal.
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Trauma Affects Enjoyment of Simple Pleasures
Jeremy Grey
I'm a little too traumatized to enjoy a scone right now.
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Trust and Unfinished Stories in Relationships
Jane Smith
Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet.
Eddie
I live with my mom because I choose to. She's the only woman I've ever trusted.
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Embracing Imperfection in Relationships
Jeremy Grey
I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you. And you want to know what? I dig it.
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A Conversation About Taking Risks
Bob
When are you gonna take the plunge and knock a few out?
Evan
Well, it's not that simple.
Bob
Well, it's about as simple as putting your dick in a vagina. You know what I mean? Make it happen.
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A Wish for Painful Consequences
Jeremy Grey
I hope you flip your bike over and knock out your two front teeth, you selfish son-of-a-bitch!
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A Painful Commitment to Team Spirit
Jeremy Grey
You go have fun. I'm gonna go ice my balls and spit up blood, Team Player!
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Request for an Ash Tray
Ricky Slade
You got an ash tray? How about an ash tray? Can I color me that?
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Mother's Insight Beyond Deception
Norman Bates
She might have fooled me, but she didn't fool my mother.
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Consequences of Actions in the Real World
Jeremy Grey
This is the real world, lady! You can't just go shooting people on a whim!
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Confronting Shame in Competitive Sports
Peter La Fleur
Lance Armstong: So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals? Peter LaFleur: Right now it feels a little bit like... shame.
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Self-Identification of a Casanova
Jeremy Grey
I'm a cocksman!
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Discomfort in the Atmosphere of Dampness
Norman Bates
Hate the smell of dampness, don't you? It's such a, I don't know, creepy smell.
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Twelve Vacancies at the Bates Motel
Norman Bates
Oh, we have twelve vacancies. Twelve cabins, twelve vacancies. They, uh, they moved away the highway.
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Irony in Unexpected Situations
Peter La Fleur
I'd love to, but I don't think they make a "sorry your dodgeball coach just got crushed by two tons of irony" Hallmark card.
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Inquiring About Per Diem Distribution
Ricky Slade
Yeah, that's my per diem, and who do I give it to?
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The Bond Between a Boy and His Mother
Norman Bates
A boy's best friend is his mother.
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Unexpected Arrival and Mixed Reactions
Bob
What the fuck is he doing here?
Evan
It's ok he saved us!
Franklin
Ya he came in here jackin dicks left and right.
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Promoting Health and Community at Average Joe's Gym
Peter La Fleur
Hi, I'm Peter LaFleur, owner and operator of Average Joe's Gym. And I'm here to tell you, you're perfect just the way you are. But if you feel like losing a few pounds, getting healthier and making some great friends in the process, then Joe's is the place for you. Don't forget, youth dodgeball classes are forming right now. So come on down and learn a great game the way it's supposed to be played. Right, kids?
[in a commercial for Average Joe's, now newly renovated and successful]
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A Colorful Compliment from a Wedding Crasher
Jeremy Grey
You motor-boating son of a bitch, you old sailor you!
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First Asian Experience Expressed
Jeremy Grey
Give me a break! That was my first Asian!
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Threatening Ultimatum in a Tense Situation
Ricky Slade
What are you an odds maker? You're going to work everyone through this thing here? Let me tell you something, fucko, if that motherfucker right there don't take that knife away from my friend's neck, I'll use all six shots to make sure you're dead. Now do you believe it? Do you fucking believe it?
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The Color of Frogs and Perception
Ricky Slade
And I hope you know frogs aren't purple, you ever seen a ]? Oh yeah? When? When you where asleep?
[[w:Purple frog|purple frog; Chole nods]
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Motivations Behind Environmental Activism
Ian Malcolm
What's your background? Wildlife photography?
Nick Van Owen
Yeah, wildlife, combat, you name it. When I was with Nightline, I was in ], Chechnya, all over Bosnia. Do some volunteer work for Greenpeace once in a while.
[[Rwanda]
Ian Malcolm
Greenpeace? What drew you there?
Nick Van Owen
Women. Eighty percent female, Greenpeace.
[grinning]
Ian Malcolm
That's noble.
Nick Van Owen
Yeah, well, "noble" was last year. This year I'm getting paid. Hammond's check cleared, or I wouldn't be going on this wild goose chase.
Ian Malcolm
Uh, where you're going is the only place in the world where the geese chase you!
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Frustration in Group Dynamics
Ricky Slade
We don't wanna talk, we wanna scream at people, but we don't wanna listen or problem solve and that's what's frustrating about the fucking dynamic of the group!
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Play Like a Champion Without Excuses
Jeremy Grey
Rule number 76: no excuses. Play like a champion.
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Feeling Like Jodie Foster in The Accused
Jeremy Grey
I felt like Jodie Foster in The Accused
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Unexpected Events in a Hotel Room
Jeremy Grey
Yeah that, or it could have been the midnight rape, or the nude gay art show that took place in my room last night.
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A Call for Restraint
Jeremy Grey
Lock it up!
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Finding a Better Approach
Ricky Slade
There's a nice way to do that!
[after a pottery clerk throws an ashtray on his table]
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The Nature of Madness in Humans
Norman Bates
It's not as if she were a maniac or a raving thing. She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven't you?
Marion Crane
Yes. Sometimes just one time can be enough. Thank you.
Norman Bates
Thank you, Norman.
Marion Crane
Norman.
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Conflict Between Friends Escalates in Humor
Bob
You know what, pal? If being overly aggressive and a little bit snippy was a crime, I'd be making a citizen's arrest right now.
Manfred
Why don't you just shut your cocksucker there, dickweed?
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Claiming the Gift of the Painting
Jeremy Grey
The painting was a gift, Todd. I'm taking it with me.
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Gratitude Toward a Martial Arts Icon
Peter La Fleur
Thank you, Chuck Norris.
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Urgent Escape from Relationship Complications
Jeremy Grey
Did you hear what I just said to you? Stage five? Virgin? Clinger? Let’s go, I’m gonna start the car, I’m serious, let’s go.
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Nostalgia of an Imaginary Childhood Friend
Jeremy Grey
I mean, I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid and his name was Shiloh. We used to play checkers with each other every day and bless his heart, Shiloh'd always let me win!
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Confidence in Skills and Performance
Jeremy Grey
I was first-team All-State. I can put the ball wherever I want to. I'll make it rain out here.
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Defiance Against Perceived Deception
Norman Bates
I'm not a fool. I'm not capable of being fooled! Not even by a woman.
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Descent into Madness and Violence
Norman Bates
Mother! Oh God! Blood! Blood!
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A Statement on Personal Style Choices
Jeremy Grey
I don't even wear a belt...beltless.
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Unexpected Attraction in a Social Setting
Jeremy Grey
Proper girl in the hat just eye-fucked the shit out of me.
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Norman Bates on Homey Kitchen Atmosphere
Norman Bates
I don't set a fancy table, but my kitchen's awful homey.
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Identifying the Red Dragon
Ricky Slade
You must be the Red Dragon!
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The Versatility of Maple Syrup
Jeremy Grey
I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup. I love maple syrup! I love it on pancakes, I love it on pizza! I love to take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?
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Conflict Over Dinner Guests
Norman Bates Mother
No! I tell you no! I won't have you bringing in some young girl in for supper! By candlelight, I suppose, in the cheap erotic fashion of young men with cheap erotic minds!
Norman Bates
Mother, please...!
Norman Bates Mother
And then what? After supper? Music? Whispers?
Norman Bates
Mother, she's a stranger. She's hungry, and it's raining out!
Norman Bates Mother
Mother, she's just a stranger"! As if men don't desire strangers! As if.. ooh, I refuse to speak of disgusting things, because they disgust me! You understand, boy? Go on, go tell her she'll not be appeasing her ugly appetite with my food or my son! Or do I have to tell you because you don't have the guts?
[mockingly]
Norman Bates
Mother, shut up! Shut up!
[shouts]
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The Complexity of Care and Confinement
Marion Crane
Wouldn't it be better if you... if you... put her someplace?
Norman Bates
Do you mean an institution? A madhouse? People always call a madhouse "someplace", don't they? "Put her in someplace.
Marion Crane
I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to sound uncaring. I...
Norman Bates
What do you know about caring? Have you ever seen the inside of one those places? The laughing and the tears, and the cruel eyes studying you. My mother in there? But she's harmless. She's as harmless as one of these stuffed birds.
Marion Crane
I am sorry. I only felt... I...
Norman Bates
You felt what?
Marion Crane
It seems that she was... she's hurting you. I meant well.
Norman Bates
People always mean well. They cluck their thick tongues and they shake their heads and they suggest, oh, so very delicately... Of course, I've suggested it myself.
[calms down]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.