Memorable Quotes from Vincent Beck
3 quotesFrustration Over a Christmas Figure
Voldar
All this trouble over a fat little man in a red suit!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion of Profanity in Courtroom Testimony
Officer Leary
I told him to move on, but he continued to use profanity and he refused to leave the premises.
Judge Rayford
What sort of profanity?
Officer Leary
You know, the normal kind.
Judge Rayford
Officer Leary, we've all heard these words before, now for the record what did he say?
Officer Leary
He used..."fuck" a lot.
[uncomfortably]
Officer Leary
..."piss on you"...
Officer Leary
...then said he was gonna..."bung-hole the short order chef"..."cream on the waitress"...
Officer Leary
...stuff like that, Your Honor.
Dapper Defendant
There's a very good reason for all of that, Your Honor.
Judge Rayford
Oh? What is that?
Dapper Defendant
I'm a diabetic.
Judge Rayford
I fail to see the connection. I've never heard of diabetes causing foul language!
Dapper Defendant
That's because you're a douchebag.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Martians Plan to Conceal Santa's Disappearance
Voldar
If we take them with us to Mars, Santa's disappearance will remain a mystery. No one on Earth will ever know that Santa Claus was kidnapped by Martians.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.