Memorable Quotes from Vincent Piazza
1 quoteA Conversation About Performance and Awareness
Ricky Delacruz
Hey, you light on your feet, Funke. That's good.
[after Bobby danced with Francesca]
Bobby Funke
Thanks.
Ricky Delacruz
But we notice you having a problem out there.
Bobby Funke
I do? What?
Ricky Delacruz
It's your hard-on.
Alex Schneider
Yeah, that close to a girl like her, it's natural.
Bobby Funke
I didn't realize it was so obvious.
Ricky Delacruz
What you're gonna wanna do, okay, is you tuck that thing into the side of your boxer shorts, so it runs down the leg. That way you can contain it. It's like getting a stiff rod when you're taking a dump.
Alex Schneider
A shit boner.
Ricky Delacruz
Yeah. Then you got to jam it into the bowl like it owes you money. But you don't want to dunk it. It's not a clown. Down!
Alex Schneider
But you also don't want to get the peepee on your shirt.
Principal Jared T. Kirkpatrick
It's a no-win situation. At ease, gentlemen. Erections or otherwise.
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