Highlights
Off Campus Season 1 - Absolutely Obsessed with Justin Kohl Clip
Off Campus
Disclosure Day - Exclusive Interview
Disclosure Day
Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu - Return to the Galaxy Clip
The Mandalorian and Grogu
Paper Tiger - Adam Driver and Miles Teller
Paper Tiger
The Dink - Float Like a Pickleball Clip
The Dink
PAW Patrol: The Dino Movie - Marshall Character Poster
PAW Patrol: The Dino Movie
Practical Magic 2 - Earth-Rooted or Solar-Ruled Sister Clip
Practical Magic 2
Outer Banks Season 5 - Madelyn Cline as Sarah Cameron Character Poster
Outer Banks
Thrash - Trapped Between Flood and Sharks Clip
Thrash
Primetime - Official Poster
Primetime
Masters of the Universe - Exclusive Interview with Nicholas Galitzine
Masters of the Universe
The Deputy - Duke Nicholson and William H. Macy
The Deputy
Cape Fear Season 1 - Who’s Laughing Now Clip
Cape Fear
Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story Season 1 - First Look at Rebecca Hall as Abby Borden
Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story

Walter MatthauQuotes

Walter Matthau
Birthday
October 1st, 1920
From
New York City, New York, USA
Actor

Lonely are the Brave - Chasing the Unseen in Desperation

Sheriff Morey Johnson: [[ghost] You'd think we're chasing a ]... an invisible horse and an invisible cowboy. Harry, throw me that canteen. I haven't got enough spit left to wet a stick of gum.

The Bad News Bears - The Challenge of Breaking Bad Habits

Coach Morris Buttermaker: This quitting thing, it's a hard habit to break once you start.

The Odd Couple - Casual Banter Among Friends in a Room

Speed: Scuse me sir, but aren't you the one they call the Cincinnati Kid?
Murray: You don't like it, get a machine.
Roy: Jeez, it stinks in here.
Vinnie: What time is it?
Speed: Again what time is it?
Vinnie: My watch is slow. I'd like to know what time it is.
Speed: You're winnin $95. That's what time it is. Where the hell are you runnin'?
Vinnie: I'm not runnin anywhere. I just asked what it was.
Roy: [looks at his watch] It's 10:30.
Vinnie: [pauses] Gotta leave by 12.
Speed: [laughs] Jeez!
Vinnie: I told you that when I sat down. I gotta leave by 12. Uh, Murray, didn't I say that when I sat down? I said I gotta leave by 12.
Speed: [To Murray] Don't talk to him. He's dealin'. You wanna rest for a while, Murray? Go lie down, sweetheart.
Murray: [He continues shuffling slowly while Speed puffs on his cigar angrily.] You want speed or accuracy? Make up your mind.
Roy: [Speed blows smoke into Roy's face. Roy gets up and walks around.] Hey, you wanna do me a really big favor? Smoke towards New Jersey.
Murray: No kidding. I'm really worried about Felix. He's never been this late before. Maybe somebody should call.
Vinnie: Hm.
Murray: Hey, Oscar! Why don't you call Felix?!
Speed: Listen, why don't we chip in three dollars apiece and buy another window. How the hell can you breathe in here?
Murray: How many cards you got? Four?
Speed: Yes, Murray, we all have four cards. When you give us one more, we'll all have five. If you gave us two more, we'd all have six. You understand how it works now?
Murray: [Yells off.; Cut to Oscar in the kitchen.] Is Oscar playing or not? Hey, Oscar!
Oscar Madison: [Yells off.] Yeah?
Murray: [Yells.] Hey, Oscar, you in or out?
Oscar Madison: [Yells.] Out, pussycat, out!
Vinnie: I told my wife I'd be home by one the latest. We're making an eight o'clock plane to Florida. I told you that when I sat down.
Murray: Who goes to Florida in July?
Vinnie: Well, it's off-season. There's no crowds, and you get the best room for one-tenth the price. No cards.
Murray: Hm.
Speed: Some vacation. Six cheap people in an empty hotel.
Murray: Dealer takes four. Hey, you think maybe Felix is sick? I mean he's never been this late before.
Roy: [picks up a piece of junk] You know, this is the same garbage from last week's game. I'm beginning to recognize things.
Murray: I'm out.
Speed: Two kings.
Vinnie: Straight.
Murray: [laughs.; laughs.; cracks up. The others laugh with him. Murry is still laughing.] Hey, maybe he's in his office locked in the john again. Did you know that Felix was once locked in the john overnight? Yeah. He wrote out his entire will on a half a roll of toilet paper What a nut.
Speed: [to Vinnie] Don't play with your chips. I'm askin you nice. Don't play with your chips.
Vinnie: I'm not playing. I'm counting. I mean, leave me alone, will you?
Speed: [Oscar comes out of the kitchen with a tray of food and drinks and heads over to the table.] I'll leave you alone if you stop playin with your chips. I can't stand a guy who's winnin who plays with his chips.
Oscar Madison: [He puts his tray down on the coffee table next to the poker table.] This is my house, Vinnie. You wanna play with your chips, you play with them, darling.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three - Positive Identification of the Dead Men

Lt. Patrone: [on phone] get that list out on the wire, will you, Wally? Tell em it's top priority!
Lt. Garber: [returning to Transit Police HQ] What have you got, Rico?
Lt. Patrone: We got positive identification on the three dead men.
Lt. Garber: [reading the ID cards] George Stever. Professional guy, huh?
Lt. Patrone: From St. Louis.
Lt. Garber: [muttering; aloud] Yeah, I know how to read, Rico. Giuseppe Benvenuto, alias Joe Welcome. Where's the English guy, the guy who fried himself?
Lt. Patrone: No card on him, but we got a confirm on his prints from Immigration. His name's Bernard Ryder, mercenary soldier. Between wars, I guess.
Lt. Garber: None of these guys knows how to drive a train, that means it's the motorman who's missing. Did you get that list of motormen who were discharged for cause I asked you to get?
Lt. Patrone: Yeah - seventy-eight names.
Lt. Garber: Seventy-eight?
Lt. Patrone: Yeah, but it's not that bad. Eight are dead, twenty-two were rehired, eleven are in jail, twenty-six moved away, one's in a mental institution, and another's a member of the New York Police Department.
Lt. Garber: That's our man right there.
Lt. Patrone: Sorry to disappoint you, Zachary, but he was accounted for.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three - Discussion on Execution Practices

Mr. Blue: Excuse me, do you people still execute in this state?
Lt. Garber: What? Oh, execute. No, not at the moment.
Mr. Blue: Pity.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three - Questioning Motives in Unexplained Actions

Lt. Garber: Inspector, that short move they made between 28th Street and 17th Street - why did they do that?
Inspector Daniels: I don't know.
Lt. Garber: Suppose they wanted to do something they didn't want anybody else to know about?
Inspector Daniels: Like what?
Lt. Garber: Like jumping off the train! Turn around, Inspector, we're going back to 17th Street.
Inspector Daniels: Like hell we are!
Lt. Garber: They are not on the train. I'm sure of it!
Inspector Daniels: Look, Garber, I suggested that in the first place and you shot me down. Something about a dead man's feature?
Lt. Garber: But they figured out how to beat that! That's their plan! That's what they started with!
Inspector Daniels: [to his driver] Turn this thing around and burn rubber.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three - Urgent Update on Pelham's Movement

Lt. Garber: Rico, she's moving.
Lt. Patrone: Who's moving?
Lt. Garber: Who do you think? Pelham!
Lt. Garber: Inspector Daniels? She's moving, sir.
Inspector Daniels: Who's moving?
Lt. Garber: What's the matter with everybody? How many hijacked trains have we got around here, anyway?

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three - Conflict between authority and defiance

Correll: [Grabbed by the shirt by Lt.Garber] I don't give a rat's ass for your fucking instructions. I'm not lifting a finger to help the killers of Caz Dolowicz. Hey, Jesus!
Lt. Garber: Now you listen to me, you dumb son of a bitch. You don't do what I tell you, you'll be having dinner tonight with Caz Dolowicz!

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three - The Dead Man's Feature Explained

Inspector Daniels: Garber, I just had a terrible thought: suppose they're not on the train? What if they set the throttle and jumped off? While we're chasing the train, they're sneaking out of an emergency exit somewhere behind us.
Lt. Garber: Ingenious thought, sir, except for one thing: it's impossible.
Lt. Garber: Little gizmo known as a dead man's feature. It was built into the controller handle in case a motorman should ever drop dead. The controller handle has to have a man's hand pressing down on it hard at all times. Otherwise, the thing don't work. The train stops cold.
Inspector Daniels: Uh-huh. I see.
Lt. Garber: Nice try, though.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three - Request for Discharged Motormen List

Lt. Garber: Rico, you want to make yourself useful? Get personnel and tell them to get together a list of all motormen discharged for cause during the past five to ten years.
Lt. Patrone: What are you looking for?
Lt. Garber: [[w:Sesame Street|Sesame Street] Somebody down there knows how to drive a train. You don't pick that up watching ]. Tell them we want it today.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three - Time Constraints in Negotiation

Mr. Blue: It is 2:24, Lieutenant, you've got forty-nine minutes.
Lt. Garber: Be reasonable, will you? We're trying to cooperate with you but we can't do anything if you don't give us enough time to work with.
Mr. Blue: Forty-nine minutes.
Lt. Garber: We're dealing with City Hall, for God's sake, you know what a mess of red tape that is?
Mr. Blue: Forty-nine minutes.
Lt. Garber: Look, fella, we know how to tell time as well as you do, but we're not gonna get anywhere if all you do is repeat forty-nine minutes!
Mr. Blue: Forty-eight minutes.
Lt. Garber: [after shutting off the mike] Yeah, all right, we'll get back to you as soon as we can. Son of a bitch.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three - Conflict Between Duty and Morality

Correll: Boy, I never thought I'd see the day when talking to murderers took priority over running a railroad.
Lt. Garber: Get off it, will you, Frank? My only priority is saving the lives of these passengers.
Correll: Screw the goddamn passengers! What the hell did they expect for their lousy 35 cents - to live forever?
Lt. Garber: [into mike] Oh, you're beautiful. Do you read me, Pelham One Two Three?
Correll: If I was running things, I'd go in there with guns and tear gas and blast them out.
Lt. Garber: Yeah, well you're not running things, so why don't you start doing your own work and let the police do theirs, huh?
Correll: Like that lily-livered cop on the train, huh? When the hell's he going to start shooting?
Lt. Garber: [into mike] We don't even know if it is a he. Do you read me, Pelham One Two Three?
Correll: Lady cops - what the hell good are they? She probably can't even find her gun in her goddamn purse!

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three - Tragedy Strikes in the Line of Duty

Lt. Patrone: Z, they just drew first blood, that supervisor from Grand Central Tower. We don't know his name, they just killed him.
Lt. Garber: Oh God. Thanks, Rico. Frank, do you know who went down to 28th St. from Grand Central?
Correll: Yeah, Caz Dolowicz. Why?
Lt. Garber: Geeze, I knew him.
Correll: Hey, what do you mean you knew him?
Lt. Garber: They just shot him.
Correll: Dead? Caz? Fat Caz?
Lt. Garber: Yeah.
Correll: Awww, shit!

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three - Train Hijacking Reported by Officers

Lt. Patrone: What's up, Z?
Lt. Garber: You won't believe it.
Lt. Patrone: You know me. I'll believe anything.
Lt. Garber: A train's been hijacked.
Lt. Patrone: I don't believe it.

Fail Safe - The Dilemma of City Alerts

Defense Secretary Swenson: General Stark, are there any papers or documents in New York which are absolutely essential to the running of the United States? General Stark?
Gen. Stark: No sir. There are important documents, but none of them absolutely essential.
Admiral Wilcox: Will there be any warning given? A lot of lives could be saved if people had a few minutes.
Defense Secretary Swenson: On this short notice, an alert to a big city would do more harm than good. It only produces panic.
Admiral Wilcox: What about this?
Gen. Stark: Maybe... maybe he doesn't know his wife is there.
Defense Secretary Swenson: [shaking his head] He knows.
Prof. Groeteschele: [walking to the podium; pause; pause] Gentlemen, we are wasting time. I've been making a few rough calculations based on the effect of two twenty megaton bombs dropped on New York City in the middle of a normal workday. I estimate the immediate dead at about three million. I include in that figure those buried beneath the collapsed buildings. It would make no difference, Admiral Wilcox, whether they reached a shelter or not. They would die just the same. Add another million or two who will die within about five weeks. Now our immediate problem will be the joint one of fire control and excavation. Excavation not of the dead, the effort would be wasted there. But even though there are no irreplaceable government documents in the city, many of our largest corporations keep their records there. It will be necessary to... rescue as many of those records as we can. Our economy depends on this. Our economy depends on this. And the Lord said, gentlemen, "He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone.

Fail Safe - The Ethics of Preemptive Strikes in War

Prof. Groeteschele: Excuse me. Every minute we wait works against us. Now, Mr. Secretary, now is when we must send in a first strike.
Gen. Stark: We don't go in for sneak attacks. We had that done to us at Pearl Harbor.
Prof. Groeteschele: And the Japanese were right to do it. From their point of view, we were their mortal enemy. As long as we existed, we were a deadly threat to them. Their only mistake was that they failed to finish us at the start, and they paid for that mistake at Hiroshima.
Gen. Stark: You're talking about a different kind of war.
Prof. Groeteschele: Exactly. This time, *we* can finish what *we* start. And if we act now, right now, our casualties will be minimal.
Brig. Gen. Black: You know what you're saying?
Prof. Groeteschele: Do you believe that Communism is not our mortal enemy?
Brig. Gen. Black: You're justifying murder.
Prof. Groeteschele: Yes, to keep from being murdered!
Brig. Gen. Black: In the name of what? To preserve what? Even if we do survive, what are we? Better than what we say they are? What gives us the right to live, then? What makes us worth surviving, Groeteschele? That we are ruthless enough to strike first?
Prof. Groeteschele: Yes! Those who can survive are the only ones worth surviving.
Brig. Gen. Black: Fighting for your life isn't the same as murder.
Prof. Groeteschele: Where do you draw the line once you know what the enemy is? How long would the Nazis have kept it up, General, if every Jew they came after had met them with a gun in his hand? But I learned from them, General Black. Oh, I learned.
Brig. Gen. Black: You learned too well, Professor. You learned so well that now there's no difference between you and what you want to kill.

Fail Safe - Debate Over Military Action in Crisis

Defense Secretary Swenson: The President says he may have to order our fighters to shoot down Group Six. He wants our opinion.
Prof. Groeteschele: I oppose it, sir, on the grounds that it's premature. Our planes have not yet reached Soviet territory, they're still hundreds of miles away.
Brig. Gen. Black: We've got to do it, and fast! Right now before it's too late!
Gen. Stark: It might be too late anyway. Those fighters swung away from the bombers when they got the all-clear signal, they've been flying in opposite directions.

Fail Safe - Debate on Military Strategy and Outcomes

Prof. Groeteschele: In my opinion they will take no action at all.
Gen. Stark: They're not going to just sit there, Professor
Prof. Groeteschele: I think if our bombers get through the Russians will surrender.
Gen. Bogan: Who's this professor, Mr. Secretary? What's he doing there?
Defense Secretary Swenson: Professor Groeteschele is a civilian advisor to the Pentagon, General. Will you explain your statement, Professor?
Prof. Groeteschele: The Russian aim is to dominate the world. They think that Communism must succeed eventually if the Soviet Union is left reasonably intact. They know that a war would leave the Soviet Union utterly destroyed. Therefore, they would surrender.
Gen. Stark: But suppose they feel they can knock us off first?
Prof. Groeteschele: They know we might have a doomsday system, missiles that would go into action days, even weeks after a war is over and destroy an enemy even after that enemy has already destroyed us.
Brig. Gen. Black: Maybe they'll think that even capitalists aren't that insane, to want to kill after they themselves have been killed.
Prof. Groeteschele: These are Marxist fanatics, not normal people. They do not reason they way you reason, General Black. They're not motivated by human emotions such as rage and pity. They are calculating machines. They will look at the balance sheet, and they will see they cannot win.
Defense Secretary Swenson: Then you suggest doing what?
Prof. Groeteschele: The Russians will surrender, and the threat of Communism will be over, forever.
Gen. Bogan: That's a lot of hogwash. Don't kid yourself, there'll be Russian generals who will react just as I would - the best defense is a good offense. They see trouble coming up, take my word for it, they'll attack, and they won't give a damn what Marx said.
Prof. Groeteschele: Mr. Secretary, I am convinced that the moment the Russians know bombs will fall on Moscow, they will surrender. They know that whatever they do then, they cannot escape destruction. Don't you see, sir, this our chance. We never would have made the first move deliberately, but Group 6 has made it for us, by accident. We must take advantage of it - history demands it. We must advise the President not to recall those planes.

Fail Safe - The Irony of Nuclear War's Destruction

Ilsa Woolfe: You could joke about the convicts and file clerks because you know there won't be any survivors, will there?
Ilsa Woolfe: None. None at all. That's the beauty of it.
Prof. Groeteschele: I've heard nuclear war called a lotta things, Miss Woolfe. Never beautiful.
Ilsa Woolfe: People are afraid to call it that, but that's what they feel.
Prof. Groeteschele: The beauty of death?
Ilsa Woolfe: Don't patronize me. What else but that are you selling, Professor? And we all know we're going to die, but you make a game out of it, a marvelous game that includes the whole world. You make it seem possible.
Prof. Groeteschele: It is possible. Even probable.
Ilsa Woolfe: You make death and entertainment something that can be played in a living room.
Prof. Groeteschele: As good a place as any.
Ilsa Woolfe: [Professor Groeteschele steers his car into that road and stops the car.] No. No, there's an even better place. Turn in there.
Prof. Groeteschele: This where you live?
Ilsa Woolfe: [laughs] Don't joke.
Prof. Groeteschele: [Ilsa Woolfe tries seducing him, and he slaps her.] : Why not? I'm a joker. I make death into a game for people like you to get excited about. I watched you tonight. You'd love making it possible, wouldn't you? You'd love pressing that button. What a thrill that would be, knowing you have to die to have the power to take everyone else with you. The mob of them with their plans, their little hopes, born to be murdered. Turning away from it, closing their eyes to it, and you could be the one to make it true. Do it to them. But you're afraid, so you look for the thrill someplace else. And who better than a man who isn't afraid? I'm not your kind.

Fail Safe - Debate on the Value of Human Life

Female Party Guest: Two hours ago, you said a hundred million dead. Now you say sixty million.
Prof. Groeteschele: I say sixty million is perhaps the highest price we should be prepared to pay in a war.
Mr. Foster: And what's the difference between sixty million dead and a hundred million?
Prof. Groeteschele: forty million.
Mr. Foster: Some difference!
Prof. Groeteschele: Are you prepared to say the saving of forty million lives is of no importance?
Mr. Foster: You miss the point, Professor! The saving of those sixty million lives is what's important!
Prof. Groeteschele: Face facts, Mr. Foster. We're talking about war. I say every war, including thermonuclear war, must have a winner and a loser. Which would you rather be?
Mr. Foster: In a nuclear war, everyone loses! War isn't what it used to be.
Prof. Groeteschele: It's the resolution of economic and political conflict.
Mr. Foster: But what kind of resolution with a hundred million dead?!
Prof. Groeteschele: It doesn't have to be a hundred million.
Mr. Foster: Even sixty!
Prof. Groeteschele: The same as a thousand years ago, sir. We also had wars that wiped out whole peoples. The point is still who wins and who loses, the survival of a culture.
Mr. Foster: A culture?! With most of its people dead?! The rest dying, the food poisoned! The air unfit to breathe! You call that a culture?!
Prof. Groeteschele: Yes, I do, Mr. Foster. I am not a poet. I am a political scientist, who would rather have an American culture survive than a Russian one.
Female Party Guest: But what would it be like? I mean, really like?! Who would survive?
Prof. Groeteschele: [A male guest laughs.; There is a long pause, and then he laughs.] Who would survive? That's an interesting question. I would predict... convicts and file clerks. The worst convicts. Those deep down in solitary confinement. And the most ordinary file clerks. Probably for large insurance companies, because they would be in fire-proof rooms, protected by tons of the best insulator in the world: paper. And imagine what will happen. The small group of vicious criminals will fight the army of file clerks for the remaining means of life. The convicts will know violence, but the file clerks will know organization. Who do think'll win? It's all hypotheses of course, but fun to play around with.

A Face in the Crowd - The Inevitable Decline of Fame

Lonesome Rhodes: Listen, I'm not through yet. You know what's gonna to happen to me?
Mel Miller: Suppose I tell you exactly what's gonna happen to you. You're gonna be back in television. Only it won't be quite the same as it was before. There'll be a reasonable cooling-off period and then somebody will say: "Why don't we try him again in an inexpensive format? People's memories aren't too long." And you know, in a way, he'll be right. Some of the people will forget, and some of them won't. Oh, you'll have a show. Maybe not the best hour or, you know, top 10. Maybe not even in the top 35. But you'll have a show. It just won't be quite the same as it was before. Then a couple of new fellas will come along. And pretty soon, a lot of your fans will be flocking around them. And then one day, somebody'll ask: "Whatever happened to, uh... whatshisname? You know, the one who was so big. The number-one fella a couple of years ago. He was famous. How can we forget a name like that? Oh by the way, have you seen, uh, Barry Mills? I think he's the greatest thing since Will Rogers.

A Face in the Crowd - Courage in Ignorance

Mel Miller: [about Lonesome Rhodes] I'll say one thing for him, he's got the courage of his ignorance.

A Face in the Crowd - The Duality of Mildness and Viciousness

Mel Miller: Didn't you know? All mild men are vicious. They hate themselves for being mild, and they hate the windy extroverts whose violence seems to have a strange attraction for nice girls. You should know better.

A Face in the Crowd - The Power of Media Influence

Mel Miller: [about TV] You gotta be a saint to stand off the power that little box can give you.

A Face in the Crowd - Critique of the Television Industry's Isolation

Mel Miller: [about the writers] Here you see the lepers of the great television industry. Men without faces. Why, they even slide our paychecks under the door so they can pretend we're not here.