William Shatner Quotes

Federation President Bring in the accused. Captain Spock, you do not stand accused.

Spock Mr. President, I stand with my shipmates.

Federation President As you wish. The charges and specifications are - conspiracy; assault on Federation officers; theft of Federation property, namely the starship Enterprise; sabotage of the USS Excelsior; willful destruction of Federation property, specifically the aforementioned USS Enterprise; and finally, disobeying direct orders of the Starfleet commander. Admiral Kirk, how do you plead?

Kirk On behalf of all of us Mr. President, I am authorized to plead guilty.

President So entered. Because of certain mitigating circumstances, all charges but one are summarily dismissed. The remaining charge, disobeying orders of a superior officer, is directed solely at Admiral Kirk. I'm sure the admiral will recognize the necessity of keeping discipline in any chain of command?

Kirk I do, sir.

President James T. Kirk, it is the judgment of this council that you be reduced in rank to captain. And that as a consequence of your new rank, you be given the duties for which you have demonstrated unswerving ability, the command of a starship. Captain Kirk, you and your crew have saved this planet from its own short-sightedness, and we are forever in your debt.

Spock Admiral, may I ask you a question?

James T. Kirk Spock, don't call me Admiral. You used to call me Jim. Don't you remember "Jim"? What's your question?

Spock Your use of language has altered since our arrival. It is currently laced with, shall I say, more colorful metaphors-- "Double dumb-ass on you" and so forth.

Kirk You mean the profanity?

Spock Yes.

Kirk That's simply the way they talk here. Nobody pays any attention to you unless you swear every other word. You'll find it in all the literature of the period.

Spock For example?

Kirk Oh, the complete works of ], the novels of ]....

Spock Ah... The giants.

Pavel Chekov Admiral, we have found the nuclear wessel.

James T. Kirk Well done, team two.

Chekov And, Admiral... it is the ].

Kirk Understood. What's your plan?

Chekov We will beam in tonight, collect the photons, and beam out. No one will ever know we were there.

Kirk Understood and approved. Keep me informed. Kirk out.

William Shatner You spear the knife into the bag... then pick some of the drugs up with the knife... then lightly press it on your tongue. And that is how TV cops taste drugs!

Mitch What if it's cyanide? There's a reason real cops don't taste drugs.

Leonard McCoy The bureaucratic mentality is the only constant in the universe. We'll get a freighter.

Hikaru Sulu With all respect, Doctor, I'm counting on Excelsior.

Montgomery Scott Excelsior? Why in God's name would you want that bucket of bolts?

Kirk A ship is a ship.

Scott Whatever you say, sir. Thy will be done.

Kirk My friends... we've come home.