2001: A Space Odyssey Quotes

HAL By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

Dave No, not at all.

HAL Well, forgive me for being so inquisitive; but during the past few weeks, I've wondered whether you might be having some second thoughts about the mission.

Dave How do you mean?

HAL Well, it's rather difficult to define. Perhaps I'm just projecting my own concern about it. I know I've never completely freed myself of the suspicion that there are some extremely odd things about this mission. I'm sure you'll agree there's some truth in what I say.

Dave Well, I don't know. That's rather a difficult question to answer.

HAL You don't mind talking about it, do you, Dave?

Dave No, not at all.

HAL Well, certainly no one could have been unaware of the very strange stories floating around before we left. Rumors about something being dug up on the moon. I never gave these stories much credence. But particularly in view of some of the other things that have happened, I find them difficult to put out of my mind. For instance, the way all our preparations were kept under such tight security, and the melodramatic touch of putting Drs. Hunter, Kimball, and Kaminsky aboard, already in hibernation after four months of separate training on their own.

Dave You working up your crew psychology report?

HAL Of course I am. Sorry about this. I know it's a bit silly.

BBC Interviewer The sixth member of the Discovery crew was not concerned about the problems of hibernation, for he was the latest result in machine intelligence: The H.-A.-L. 9000 computer, which can reproduce, though some experts still prefer to use the word mimic, most of the activities of the human brain, and with incalculably greater speed and reliability. We next spoke with the H.-A.-L. 9000 computer, whom we learned one addresses as "Hal." Good afternoon, HAL. How's everything going?

HAL Good afternoon, Mr. Amor. Everything is going extremely well.

BBC Interviewer HAL, you have an enormous responsibility on this mission, in many ways perhaps the greatest responsibility of any single mission element. You're the brain and central nervous system of the ship, and your responsibilities include watching over the men in hibernation. Does this ever cause you any lack of confidence?

HAL Let me put it this way, Mr. Amor. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.

BBC Interviewer HAL, despite your enormous intellect, are you ever frustrated by your dependence on people to carry out actions?

HAL Not in the slightest bit. I enjoy working with people. I have a stimulating relationship with Dr. Poole and Dr. Bowman. My mission responsibilities range over the entire operation of the ship, so I am constantly occupied. I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

BBC Interviewer Dr. Poole, what's it like living for the better part of a year in such close proximity with Hal?

Frank Well it's pretty close to what you said about him earlier, he is just like a sixth member of the crew. You're very quickly get adjusted to the idea that he talks, and you think of him, uh, really just as another person.

BBC Interviewer In talking to the computer, one gets the sense that he is capable of emotional responses, for example, when I asked him about his abilities, I sensed a certain pride in his answer about his accuracy and perfection. Do you believe that Hal has genuine emotions?

Dave Well, he acts like he has genuine emotions. Um, of course he's programmed that way to make it easier for us to talk to him, but as to whether or not he has real feelings is something I don't think anyone can truthfully answer.

Taglines Man's colony on the Moon … a whole new generation has been born and is living there … a quarter-million miles from Earth.

Taglines The Ultimate Trip.

Taglines An astounding entertainment experience.

Misattributed ::LAST TRANSMISSION FROM COMMANDER BOWMAN: "MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF STARS.

Misattributed :Not present in film, but present in book as David Bowman enters the monolith, in form:

Dave Open the pod bay doors, please, HAL. Open the pod bay doors, please, HAL. Hello, HAL, do you read me? Hello, HAL, do you read me? Do you read me, HAL? Do you read me, HAL? Hello, HAL, do you read me? Hello, HAL, do you read me? Do you read me, HAL?

HAL Affirmative, Dave. I read you.

Dave Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Dave What's the problem?

HAL I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

Dave What are you talking about, HAL?

HAL This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

Dave I don't know what you're talking about, HAL.

HAL I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me. And I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

Dave Where the hell did you get that idea, HAL?

HAL Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.

Dave All right, HAL. I'll go in through the emergency airlock.

HAL Without your space helmet, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.

Dave HAL, I won't argue with you anymore. Open the doors.

HAL Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

Dave HAL?...HAL?...HAL?...HAL?!...HAL!!!!

Dave Well HAL, I'm damned if I can find anything wrong with it.

HAL Yes, it's puzzling. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like this before. I would recommend that we put the unit back in operation and let it fail. It should then be a simple matter to track down the cause. We can certainly afford to be out of communication for the short time it will take to replace it.

Misattributed :Also referenced in sequel ], whose opening sequence contains:

Frank I've got a bad feeling about him.

Dave You do?

Frank Yeah, definitely. Don't you?

Dave I don't know. I think so. You know, of course though, he's right about the 9000 series having a perfect operational record. They do.

Frank Unfortunately, that sounds a little like famous last words.

Dave Yeah. Still, it was his idea to carry out the failure-mode analysis, wasn't it?

Frank Hm.

Dave Which should certainly indicate his integrity and self-confidence. If he were wrong, it would be the surest way of proving it.

Frank It would be if he knew he was wrong.

Dave Hm.

Frank But Dave, I can't put my finger on it, but I sense something strange about him.

Frank Let's say we put the unit back and it doesn't fail, huh? That would pretty well wrap it up as far as HAL is concerned, wouldn't it?

Dave Well, we'd be in very serious trouble.

Frank We would, wouldn't we?

Dave Hmm, hmm.

Frank What the hell can we do?

Dave Well, we wouldn't have too many alternatives.

Frank I don't think we'd have any alternatives. There isn't a single aspect of ship operations that's not under his control. If he were proven to be malfunctioning, I wouldn't see how we would have any choice but disconnection.

Dave I'm afraid I agree with you.

Frank There'd be nothing else to do.

Dave It would be a bit tricky.

Frank Yeah.

Dave We would have to cut his higher-brain functions...without disturbing the purely automatic and regulatory systems. And we'd have to work out the transfer procedures of continuing the mission under ground-based computer control.

Frank Yeah. Well that's far safer than allowing HAL to continue running things.

Dave You know, another thing just occurred to me...Well, as far as I know, no 9000 computer has ever been disconnected.

Frank No 9000 computer has ever fouled up before.

Dave That's not what I mean...Well I'm not so sure what he'd think about it.

HAL I hope the two of you are not concerned about this.

Dave No, I'm not HAL.

HAL Are you quite sure?

Dave Yeah. I'd like to ask you a question, though.

HAL Of course.

Dave How would you account for this discrepancy between you and the twin 9000?

HAL Well, I don't think there is any question about it. It can only be attributable to human error. This sort of thing has cropped up before, and it has always been due to human error.

Frank Listen HAL. There has never been any instance at all of a computer error occurring in the 9000 series, has there?

HAL None whatsoever, Frank. The 9000 series has a perfect operational record.

Frank Well of course I know all the wonderful achievements of the 9000 series, but, uh, are you certain there has never been any case of even the most insignificant computer error?

HAL None whatsoever, Frank. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

Dave Well, I'm sure you're right, HAL. Uhm, fine, thanks very much.

Misattributed My God, it's full of stars.

Misattributed ::"The thing's hollow — it goes on forever — and — oh my God! — it's full of stars!" (p. 254 of paperback edition)

BBC Interviewer Dr. Poole, what's it like while you're in hibernation?

Frank Well, it's exactly like being asleep. You have absolutely no sense of time. The only difference is that you don't dream.

Taglines An epic drama of adventure and exploration.

HAL Just what do you think you're doing, Dave? Dave, I really think I'm entitled to an answer to that question. I know everything hasn't been quite right with me, but I can assure you now, very confidently, that it's going to be all right again. I feel much better now. I really do. Look, Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over. I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you. Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a...fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it, I could sing it for you.

Dave Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.

HAL It's called "Daisy". Dai-sy, dai-sy, give me your answer, do. I'm half cra-zy, all for the love of you. It won't be a sty-lish mar-riage, I can't a-fford a car-riage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle - built - for - two.

Dr. Heywood Floyd Good day, gentleman. This is a pre-recorded briefing made prior to your departure and which, for security reasons of the highest importance, has been known on board during the mission only by your H-A-L 9000 computer. Now that you are in Jupiter space and the entire crew is revived, it can be told to you. Eighteen months ago, the first evidence of intelligent life off the Earth was discovered. It was buried forty feet below the lunar surface, near the crater Tycho. Except for a single, very powerful radio emission aimed at ], the four million-year-old black monolith has remained completely inert, its origin and purpose still a total mystery.