Men Navigating Parenthood Challenges
Taglines:
Peter, Michael and Jack know a thing or two about women. But when it comes to babies, they're all wet.
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Life Changes Through Unexpected Responsibilities
Taglines:
They changed her diapers. She changed their lives.
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Misplaced Baby Powder During Bath Time
Peter:
Where'd you put the baby powder?
Michael:
Down the hall, I'll get it.
Peter:
What'd you put it out there for? We're bathing her in here.
Michael:
It's just down the hall!
Peter:
Well, we're not bathing her in the hall, are we?
Michael:
Well, maybe we should START, goddamn it!
Peter:
You're going to clean that up.
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Diaper Size and Absorbency Discussion
Michael:
Whoa, these diapers are way too big!
Peter:
They're ultra absorbent! The more absorbent, the better, if you ask me.
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Architect's Confidence in Changing Diapers
Peter:
I'm an architect, for Christ's sake, I build 50 story skyscrapers, I assemble cities of the future, I can certainly put together a goddamn diaper.
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Teeth as a Measure of Age
Peter:
Feel her teeth.
Michael:
What?
Peter:
The druggist said you can tell how old she is by feeling her teeth.
Michael:
I'm not going to feel her teeth, YOU feel her teeth!
Peter:
I can't feel anything.
Michael:
What does that mean?
Peter:
It means she doesn't have any damn teeth!
Michael:
Well, neither did Gabby Hayes and he was 90, so what?
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Feeding Babies: A Forgotten Experience
Peter:
All we have to do is feed it, it'll shut up.
Michael:
I don't know what babies eat.
Peter:
Soft stuff. We were babies once, for God's sake. What did we eat?
Michael:
I don't know, but it couldn't have been very good. I can't remember!
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A Discussion on Parenthood Challenges
Mrs. Hathaway:
I love kids. Unfortunately, Mr. Hathaway and I aren't able to have children. He has a low sperm count.
Michael:
Some guys have all the luck.
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Questioning Beliefs About Parenthood and Divinity
Rebecca:
Jack has a baby?
Peter:
I realize such a concept tends to negate our belief in a benevolent God, but yes.
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Unexpected Transformation in a Casual Encounter
Jack:
Angelyne! Whew! Boy, you look different. What happened?
Angelyne:
I'm dressed.
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A Humorous Exchange About Changing Diapers
Michael:
She did a doodle; your turn to change her.
Peter:
I'll give you a $1,000.00 if you'll do it.
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Unexpected Reactions to Parenthood's Challenges
Michael:
How can something so small create so much of something so disgusting?
Peter:
Beats the shit out of me.
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