26 quotes
Marital Needs Expressed by Vaughn
Vaughn
A man has needs, Sylvia! Marital needs!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Discovery of a New Sex Act
Ray Ray
One day we're going to discover a brand new sex act, one that's never been performed before. And we hope you'll be with us on that day of carnal rapture!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Identity Amidst Adversity
Sylvia
I'm just Sylvia Stickles, I'm a horny woman with a head injury.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Morning Conversations About Adult Themes
Vaughn
Good morning Big Ethel.
Big Ethel
What's good about a morning with dildos in it?
Shopper
Amen to that! My husband's on Viagra!
Big Ethel
Oh you poor thing!
Shopper
Every minute he wants it!
Marge
He has no right to be that hard!
Shopper
I'm Viagra-vated and I'm not going to take it anymore!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebrating Identity and Connection in Love
Papa Bear
We're husky, we're hairy, we're homosexual, and out of the second closet!
Mama Bear
And we can cuddle all night!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observations on Neighborhood Masculinity
Betty
Don't you find it funny that every man in this neighborhood has a penis?
[''giggles'']
Vaughn
Well, not really, Betty.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Morning Rush and Makeup Commentary
Driver
Hurry up! I've got a hot date!
Sylvia
What, at 7 am?! What's the matter with you?
Female Driver
You'd have a date too if you wore some makeup!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disgust Over Unkempt Hedges
Marge
Filthy little hedges, growing all dirty! Makes me sick!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Marge Questions Marriage and Sexual Frequency
Marge
I read in the paper the other day that the average married couple has sex over 100 times a year! That's a lie, people would be raw if that was true!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Bold Expression of Distress
Sylvia
My pussy's on fire!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Decency Rally Sparks Controversy Among Residents
Big Ethel
We're having a decency rally.
Resident
You'd better start in your own back yard then. I heard your daughter Sylvia picked up a bottle with her cooter in the old folks home!
Big Ethel
That's not true! My daughter's a good girl, she hates sex!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Embarrassment and Stigma in Family Dynamics
Big Ethel
Do you know how embarrassing this is for me? One nymphomaniac in the family is bad enough, but two?!
Vaughn
It's a disease, Big Ethel.
Big Ethel
Bein a whore is a disease?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debate on Artistic Expression and Legal Boundaries
Sylvia
You were convicted of indecent exposure for the third time!
Caprice
I was promoting the art of dance!
Sylvia
With nude loitering? Nude and disorderly conduct? Nude drunken driving?!
Caprice
I was not DRUNK! I was on PILLS!
Sylvia
Something is the matter with you, Caprice!
Caprice
You are SUCH a neuter, mother! And neuters will never understand!
Sylvia
Something is the matter with your vagina!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observations on Customers and Their Choices
Big Ethel
We got blatant homosexuals shopping right in our store. They eat life you know. Sperm!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Value of a Concussion
Ray Ray
A concussion is a terrible thing to waste.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Over Decency and Sexual Expression
Decency Rally Attendant
Look, I'm not a prude, I'm married to an Italian.
Old Woman
I seen you, Sylvia Stickles. Showin your pubic patch to the bus driver! You should move downtown where you belong, ya whore!
Cow Patty
Wow, a tranny bear!
[''upon seeing Big Ethel'']
Doctor
Sylvia, you have what is known as a runaway vagina.
Paige
Admit to God you are a whore. Make a list of all the people you've fucked, and apologize to their parents.
Dora
All this yelling's giving me a Swedish headache. You know what I mean? Horny! Nothing wrong with beating the beaver once in a while.
Caprice
Let my mother's pussy be!
Sex Addicts Group
HALT! Horny! Anal! Lustful! TITTIES!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion About New Neighbors' Identity
Big Ethel
Did you see those new neighbors moving in? Grown men with hairy legs prancing around half-naked? "We're bears." What the hell is that supposed to mean?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire and Intensity in A Dirty Shame
Ray Ray
I've got a hard-on of gold, and my tongue is on fire.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling with Sexual Sobriety
Sylvia
Help me to keep my sexual sobriety!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Adult Baby Dynamics in Relationships
Officer Alvin
I'm an adult baby, Sylvia. You want to be my Mommy?
Ray Ray
Adult babies are into age regression. They intensely eroticize being infants, and, sometimes they like to be burped.
Officer Alvin
I'm a big boy! And I'm beyond the law.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expression of Enthusiasm for Pink Steel
Sylvia
PINK STEEL!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reporting Inappropriate Language to Authorities
Marge
I'm going to call the postmaster general — if he's not whacking off! — and report your potty mouth!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns About Consent and Personal Safety
Dora
Ever take a roofie?
Sylvia
NO!
Dora
Me neither. I'm afraid I'd stay home and date-rape myself all night long!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sylvia's Clitoral Crisis Explained
Sylvia
I'm Sylvia, and my clitoris is in crisis
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cooking Scrapple in A Dirty Shame
Sylvia
Can't you see I'm cooking scrapple!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sylvia Stickles Expresses Her Unique Desire
Sylvia
I'm Sylvia Stickles and I've got the itch!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.