22 quotes
A Father-Son Journey with Unexpected Surprises
Max
Dad, you’re gonna get us killed! Why don’t you just give me the map?
[ticked off]
Goofy
Oh, no thanks, son. Navigating's a big responsibility! Besides, you wouldn’t wanna spoil the big surprise. I’m taking ya someplace pretty special!
Goofy
Gawrsh! It’s even better than I remembered!
Girl
No! Mommy! I don’t wanna go!
Max
Yeah, fun. Tell ya what: I’m just gonna wait right here in the car.
[not interested]
Goofy
Ya party pooper! Come on! This is gonna be fun!
[grabs Max and drags him]
Old Possum
Howdy there, folks. Lester’s is proud to present the Possum Posse Jamboree. Here it is.
Goofy
Oh, boy! Just in time!
Lester
Howdy, folks! Who’s your favorite possum?
Goofy
I got us a seat right up front!
Lester
Let me introduce you to the posse! Here’s Buford, Beulah, and Mordechai!
Mordechai
Hey, Lester, ready for yodeling?
Lester
Sure am, Buford. Now gather ‘round, my possum pals, and join the jamboree. Come hoot ‘n’ howl ‘n’ holler from the heart! And every chicken, pig, ‘n’ goat’ll help by yelping out a yodel here at Lester’s Possum Park! Join in, folks! It’s yodeling time!
[singing; speaking]
Lester
Lester’s Possum Park.
[singing]
Lester
Well don’t you wanna be, a’hanging from a tree? We’re mighty glad to see ya and the parking's always free! Here at Lester’s Possum Park!
[singing; he begins to break down]
Max
This is pathetic!
[A girl pigtails hair she smiles 12 teeth]
Goofy
Hey! That’s the ticket! I’ll be right back, my little possum pal!
[sees a souvenir stand and gets an idea]
Max
My life’s a living.
[sighs]
Lester
Hello, little buddy! Who’s your favorite possum?
Max
Don’t touch me.
[getting annoyed]
Lester
Aw, why such a long face? You’re so sad! Boo hoo hoo! I know! You need a big hug from Lester.
Max
Don’t even think about it...!
[angrily gives Lester a warning with his finger]
Lester
See? Now you feel all good inside!
[gives Max a giant hug which ticks him off]
Max
Beat it, doofus! Oh no, no, Dad! Not that, please!
[angrily slaps Lester which turns his false head backward; Lester staggers off unable to see where he is going and is knocked down and dragged off by several kids]
Goofy
Here ya go, sport! Let’s say we get our picture taken!
[comes back wearing a dead possum hat and puts one on Max]
Max
You have got to be kidding.
Goofy
Oh, all right. But you’re missing out! Hiya, son!
[foolishly hangs upside down between two possums to get his picture taken; A lot of people laughing]
Kid
Hey, everyone! Check out the dork!
Photographer
Say, "sassafras".
Goofy
Sassyfrass! That’s the spirit, Maxie!
[The branch breaks and Goofy falls to the ground. This sends one of the two possums hurdling toward Max and it hits him in the face. The possum then crawls down Max’s sweatshirt. Max beings to jump around in an attempt to get at the possum. A couple of musicians start playing country music, mistaking Max’s gyrations for an attempt at dance; grabs Max and starts dancing with him]
Max
Dad, stop, please! Dad, look, this is embarrassing!
[embarrassed]
Goofy
Ta-da! Hyuck!
[finally finished the dance with Max on his knee]
Kid
It’s Dork and Dork Junior!
Goofy
Max! Hey, what the heck you trying to do?
[comes out]
Max
Trying to get away from you!
[furiously leaves the highway and angrily goes back to the car]
Goofy
Me? What'd I do?
Max
Forget it!
Goofy
I thought we was having fun. What's the matter?
Max
Nothing. Let's just go. Well, come on!
Goofy
Hey, you dropped your hat.
[sadly unlocked the door and Max gets in, goes around and gets in too, then hands Max the hat he threw away which infuriates him]
Max
This is the stupidest vacation! You drag me from home, you jam me in this dumb car, then drive me a million miles away to see some stupid rat show! Call me when the trip's over.
[furiously blows up, screams in frustration, angrily yells at Goofy, and furiously takes his hat, but lividly rolls down the window, and angrily throws the hat away again; Goofy sadly starts the car and drives off]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Relationship Doubts and Decisions
Goofy
You’re doing the right thing, son.
Max
Yeah, I know. But she’ll probably never talk to me again.
Goofy
Well, if she doesn’t, maybe she’s just not the one for you.
Max
That’s what I’m afraid of. Uh... hi! Remember me?
[goes to the front door and rings the doorbell]
Roxanne
Daddy! Max?! I saw you on TV! You were great!
[opens the door and comes out]
Max
Yeah? I mean, no, no. I mean, uh... Roxanne, I lied to you. I don’t even know Powerline.
Roxanne
What are you talking about? A billion people saw you dance with him!
Max
Yeah, well... I-I never met him before. The concert, that is.
Roxanne
You mean that story about Powerline and your dad? Why would you make up something like that?
Max
I don’t know. I... I guess, I just... wanted you to like me.
Roxanne
I already liked you, Max. From the very first time I heard you laugh. "Uhyuck!" So... you wanna do something tonight?
Max
Definitely! Oh! Oh no, I can’t. I can’t.
Roxanne
What?
Max
Well, I’m kinda doing something with my dad. Honest? How about tomorrow?
Roxanne
Deal.
[extends her hand for Max to shake; Max kisses Roxanne instead. They both giggle and Max lets out a full Goofy laugh. He covers his mouth, but Roxanne just smiles. Back at the car, Goofy has managed to get the front bumper back on the car. He grins and points at it. The car explodes. Goofy is sent flying. With a full Goofy yell, Goofy lands headfirst on the roof of Roxanne's porch. He chuckles and waves at Max and Roxanne]
Max
Roxanne, I’d like you to meet my dad.
[smiles]
Goofy
Enchanté, Mademoiselle.
[takes Roxanne’s hand and kisses it]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Excitement at the Concert Scene
Boy
Cool concert, lad!
Max
What?
Another Boy
You wailed, bud!
Girl
Hey, Max. Wicked dance!
Max
Thanks!
Stacey
Forget it, girl. He’s Roxanne’s.
[comes by and pushes the girl away]
PJ
Way to go, man! I just heard about you and Roxanne! You stud!
Max
Oh, Peej!
PJ
See? See? I told you our plan would work! Max! Max!
[chanting]
Max
Peej, knock it off! Shhh!
Bobby
Maximum! Maximum!
Cheerleaders
Max! Max! Max!
Max
All I need is half a chance, a second thought, a second glance will prove I got whatever it takes. It’s a piece of cake. To stand out above the crowd. Even if I gotta shout out loud. ‘Til mine is the only face you’ll see. Gonna stand out. Stand out, hey. Stand out. (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) Stand Out. ‘Til mine is the only face you’ll see. Gonna stand out so you notice me. Going somewhere, Pop?
[lip synching; kicks the gate of his home open and walks through]
Goofy
Sure are, Pal-a-roony!
Max
Cool. Well, have a good time, Dad. If you’re gonna be gone more than a month, drop me a line.
Goofy
But Max, this isn’t just my vacation. It’s a vacation with me and my best buddy!
[puts the stuff in his car]
Max
Oh, Donald Duck?
Goofy
No, silly. With you!
Goofy
Are you okay, Maxie?
Max
Wha..What did you say?
[gets up]
Max
I think I’m gonna be sick.
[annoyed]
Goofy
Hey! Got a present for ya!
Max
Dad! Stop! I can't---- I can't... do it!
[as Goofy puts a life vest on him]
Goofy
You look just like I did at your age!
[pulls a cord and the vest inflates]
Max
Please don’t say that, Dad.
[gets worried]
Goofy
Wait! I saved the best for last! It’s been handed down from Goof to Goof to Goof! And now, it’s yours, son.
[laughs]
Max
A stick?
Goofy
No, silly. A fishing pole!
[reveals a fishing pole]
Max
Fishing? We’re going fishing?
[shocked and annoyed]
Goofy
Yup, just like my dad and me did! Two best buddies fishing on Lake Destiny, away from it all!
Max
I don’t wanna be away from it all, Dad! I like it all!
[stubbornly tells Goofy off]
Goofy
Hey, look, Maxie! We’re using the same map me and my dad used. We’ll take the same route and make the same stops and see the same sights…
[shows Max a map]
Max
But that trip would take weeks, Dad!
[shocked]
Goofy
Exactly! Getting there's half the fun!
Max
Put the map away, Dad. It’s not gonna happen, I’m telling you, it’s not…
[angrily pushes the map away]
Goofy
Careful, son! You’ll wrinkle my past. And our future! What the map says, Max, we will follow!
[puts the map back on the car]
Max
That’s very mystical and everything, Dad, but, uh... seriously, there’s this party I have to go to…
Goofy
Oh, there’ll be plenty of time for parties when you’re older, Maxie. Why, when I was your age, I’d never even been invited to a party! And look at me now!
[holds his hat]
Max
Great, Dad.
Goofy
Hop in, Maxie!
[opens car door]
Max
No.
[angrily closes the car door]
Goofy
All right, then. Guess I’ll just have to go all alone. That’s all. Just sit in the boat all alone. And talk to myself all alone.
[thinks for a second, then starts to feel very sad]
Max
I guess so.
Goofy
Aw, come on, hop in!
[frustratedly opens the car door]
Max
No, Dad.
[angrily shuts it]
Goofy
Just hop right in there!
[frustratedly opens it]
Max
NO!
[angrily shuts it]
Goofy
Come on, Maxie! Go for it! We’re ready for take off! Set for adventure, Maxie?
[frustrated; calmly; goes around to his door and gets in]
Max
Why are you doing this to me, Dad?
[frustrated]
Goofy
‘Cause, I don’t want ya to end up in the electric chair!
Max
The electric chair? What are you…
Goofy
I’m not giving up on ya, son. Together, we’re gonna work this out.
Max
Work this out? But, Dad…
Goofy
No buts about it, Maxie Boy! Your ol’ pop knows best. Goodbye, house. Goodbye, mailbox! Goodbye, pile of broken wood.
[holds his hand to stop Max from speaking; starts the car and back out; accidentally runs over his fence while turning into the street.]
Max
Goodbye, hopes. Goodbye, dreams. Goodbye, Roxanne. Roxanne! Dad, I-I gotta stop somewhere first. I-I have to talk to someone!
Goofy
Well…
Goofy
Now make it quick, Maxie boy. We gotta put some road behind us.
Max
You get to cancel your first date in less than an hour. Must be some kind of lame-o record.
[walks up to the front door; rings the doorbell]
Max
Hi! Is Roxanne home? Uh, m-my name is Max. Does... Roxanne live here? Does she even live on this block?
Roxanne
Wait! It’s okay, Daddy. Max is a friend from school. Go on. Go on. Good Daddy. Hey, Max. You wanna, uh... have a seat?
Roxanne
Daddy! I promise he’ll be better behaved when you pick me up for the party.
Max
Yeah, that’s, uh, sorta why I came by.
Roxanne
I’m really looking forward to it, Max.
Max
Yeah, I was, too.
Roxanne
Was?
Max
Well, you see my dad’s on this stupid father/son kick, and…
Roxanne
Oh, don’t worry about it, Max. It’s just a dumb party.
Max
No, it’s not! Roxanne, I really wanted to go with you. I…
Roxanne
No, Max, I understand. Really, it's okay, these things happen…
Max
My dad surprised me, I don’t even wanna go, but I have no choice.
Roxanne
I’m sure I can find someone else.
Max
Someone else?
Roxanne
I’ll just talk to you later.
Max
Um, uh, Roxanne, uh... my dad is, uh... my dad’s taking me to the Powerline concert in Los Angeles!
[thinking quickly]
Roxanne
Your dad’s taking you clear across the country just to see a concert?
Max
Uh... well - you see, uh, my dad... um, knew... knows - knows Powerline! They-they used to play together! In-in a band! Yeah!
Goofy
Come on, son! Let’s get this show on the road!
Max
Just a minute, you… party… animal, you.
Roxanne
You’re really serious!
Max
Absolutely. So uh... you aren’t still thinking of going with someone else, are you?
Roxanne
Well, I guess…
Max
Because, I was hoping I could, uh, wave to you on-stage when we join Powerline for the final number.
Roxanne
This is incredible!
Max
Well - I wouldn’t miss our date for anything that wasn’t incredible, Roxanne.
Roxanne
Have a great time at the concert, Max. I’ll see you on TV!
[kisses Max on the cheek]
Max
I’m in deep sludge.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Choices on a Road Trip
Goofy
Well, here ya go, navigator. Just follow my route on the map, son.
[grabs the map and gives it to Max]
Max
Okay.
Goofy
Here comes our junction. Okay, Max, now this is it. Left or right?
Max
Uh...
[nervously]
Goofy
Come on, Max!
Max
LEFT! Uh... how bout a song, Dad? A game? A game! Yeah! Yeah, a game! Okay! Uh, man or woman? Man? Man! Okay! Uh, Walt Disney! Dad... Listen, about my directions... Will you listen to me? I gotta tell you something, Dad.
[The car scrapes the center divider as they barely make it up the left ramp. Max looks back, then sighs. Goofy looks annoyed. Max nervously smiles; Goofy angrily swerves the car to a scenic overlook and stops the car, lividly fumbles with the seat belt, furiously gets out and ragefully stomps over to the stone wall at the edge of the overlook, fuming]
Goofy
Why bother? I'm probably too stupid to understand anyway, right?
[sarcastically]
Max
Aw, forget it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Father-Son Road Trip Adventure
Goofy
Day one: Well, here we are, out on the open road! Retracing the steps of my boyhood. And heeeeeere’s Maxie! Say, "Hi", Max! Well, how bout a wave?
Max
Not now, dad.
[puts his hand in front of the lens]
Goofy
What a kidder! Hmmm. Fun and games I used to play with my dad. Road bingo... Twenty q---- Hey, Maxie! Uh, let’s play a game. You think of a name, and I’ll try and guess who it is. Uh, man or woman?
[puts the camera down, then notices that Max look really depressed; gets an idea and takes out a list from one of his pockets; to Max]
Max
Oh, man!
[disgusted]
Goofy
Man, huh? Hmmmm. That’s a toughie! Uh, let’s see... Walt Disney!
Max
Right.
Goofy
I’m good at this. Now, I’ll think of one. Hmm...
Goofy
Oh, you wanna sing a song, huh? Me and my dad used to sing this one all the time! He's got hiiiigh hopes! He's got high apple pie in the skyyyy hopes!
[puts in an 8-track tape which interrupts the rock music and starts playing "High Hopes". Goofy sings along.; Max changes back to Santa Monica. Goofy changes back to High Hopes. It goes back and forth until they break the radio.]
Max
Oh, great, Dad! Now we don’t have any music!
[fed up with Goofy]
Goofy
Oh, Maxie, it’s not so bad. We’ll just have to entertain ourselves!
Goofy
Do ya need a break from modern living? Do ya long to shed your weary load? If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried, just grab a friend and take a ride together upon the open road!
[singing]
Max
All in all, I’d rather have detention. All in all, I’d rather eat a toad. An old man drives that’s such a klutz that I’m about to hurl my guts directly upon the open road!
[singing]
Goofy
There’s nothing can upset me ‘cause now we’re on our way! Our trusty map will guide us straight and true!
[singing]
Max
Roxanne please don’t forget me, I will return some day. Though I may be in traction when I do!
[singing]
Goofy
Me and Max relaxing like the old days! In a buddy-buddy kind of mode!
[singing]
Max
This is worse than dragon breath and acne! I’m so mad I think I may explode!
[singing]
Goofy
When I see that highway I could cry!
[singing]
Max
You know, that’s funny, so could I!
[singing]
Both
Just being out on the open road!
[singing]
CW Girls in pickup
Howdy boys! Is this the way to Nashville?
[singing]
Tow Truck driver
Watch it, Mack! Or you’ll be getting towed!
[singing]
Con in paddy wagon
I’m in no hurry to arrive cause I’ll be turning sixty-five, the next time I sees the open road.
[singing]
Wendell
Just a week of rest and relaxation, And the odd romantic episode!
[singing]
Max
Very odd!
[spoken]
Mickey Mouse
And it’s Californ-eye-ay or bust!
[singing]
Little Old Lady From Pasadena
Look out you dirtbags! Eat my dust! From now on, I own the open road!
[singing]
Goofy
It’s me and little Maxie, my pip-squeak pioneer!
[singing]
Nuns
They're pardners forever "Westward Ho!" Yeehaw!
[singing; spoken]
Max
Could someone call a taxi and get me outta here, to Beverly Hills 90210?
[singing]
All
Oh, every day another new adventure! Every mile another new zip code! And the cares we had are gone for good!
[singing]
Max
And I’d go with them if I could.
[singing]
All
I got no strings on me! I’m feeling fancy free! How wonderful to be... on the open road!
[singing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mastering the Art of Fishing Techniques
Max
Dad, I don’t even know how to fish.
Goofy
Oh, now come on. That never stopped me! Let me show ya a little family secret handed down through about twelve or thirteen Goof generations: The Perfect Cast.
Max
The Perfect What?
Goofy
The Perfect Cast. My dad taught it to me when I was about your age. Okay now, watch carefully. You gotta be loose. Relaxed. With your feet apart, and… Ten o’clock. Two o’clock. Quarter to three! Tour Jete! Twist! Over! Pas de deux! I’m a little teapot! And the windup...!
Max
Uh, D-D-D-Dad, It’s BIGFOOT!
[Horrorly screams]
Goofy
Could you back up a bit, Mr. Foot? Uh, you’re out of focus.
[Bigfoot ferociously roars at Goofy and Max. The steak sails back at Pete and hits him in the face]
Pete
What’s the idea? BIGFOOT!!!
[angrily pulls off the steak; sees Max and Goofy running from Bigfoot and screaming; grabs the BBQ, throws it in the RV, retracts all the equipment attached to the RV and drives off, leaving Goofy’s tent where it was]
Goofy
Behold the legendary Bigfoot! Fabled but seldom… Whooooaaa!
[runs backward getting Bigfoot on video; clumsily trips over the tent and the camera goes flying]
Max
It’s locked!
[tries to get in the car]
Goofy
Quick! The sun roof!
[starts rolling the window closed]
Max
Hurry up! Hurry up!
Max
I can’t believe it... Bigfoot!
Goofy
And I’ve got the only video!
Max
We’re gonna be famous! Let’s just get outta here.
[disgusted]
Max
Is he gone yet?
Goofy
Nope. Still here.
Goofy
Gee, Max. Was that Bigfoot or your stomach?
Max
Man, I’m starving!
[feels his stomach]
Goofy
Alphabet soup coming up!
[rolls down the window and tries to grab the can]
Max
Dad, stop playing around! He’s coming!
[grabs his father’s hand and turns it so the can gets through]
Goofy
Well, it’s nice to know this thing’s good for something.
[balances the can of soup over the lighter]
Max
What’s so funny?
Goofy
Hi Dad" Soup!
Max
Huh?
Max
…"Ambidextrous"…
Goofy
Yeah, that’s…Nah, little words, like…
Max
Hasta la vista"?
Goofy
Like "Bye bye"!
Max
…or "I pledge allegiance"…
Goofy
…or "I love you"…
Max
Is it soup yet?
Goofy
Oh, I almost forgot!
[uses his teeth to create two holes in the top of the can]
Max
Woah! Where’d you learn to do that?
Goofy
Your granddad taught me that when we went to Yosemite.
Max
You two did a lot together, huh?
Goofy
Yup.
Goofy
Max, you and I have to…
Max
Dad, listen I have a…
Goofy
How’s the soup?
Max
Not bad. What?
[drinks and leaves a soup mustache on his upper lip; sees his dad grinning]
Goofy
Nothing.
[Seeing Max with a mustache reminds Goofy of what Max was like as a little boy and just grins]
Goofy
Welp, might as well get some shut eye. I don’t think we’re going anywhere tonight.
[gets comfortable. Max looks lovingly at his dad, then down at the remnants of the soup in his cup. He fiddles with something at the bottom. Max then taps his father and hands him the cup. Goofy looks at the bottom of the cup to see the words "Hi Dad" spelled out. Goofy gets choked up and looks over at Max, who is settling down to sleep.]
Goofy
Hi, Maxie.
[whispering]
Max
Dear Roxanne, Couldn’t sleep... so I thought I’d drop ya a line. Dad and I are having a great time. We’re only days away from Los Angeles and I can hardly wait for the big concert.
[writing; he stops writing and looks sad. Then looks over at Goofy.]
Goofy
More Hi Dad Soup, please.
[in his sleep]
Max
Dear Roxanne, Sorry I lied, but I’m not really going to the Powerline concert. You may never wanna see me again... Oh, man! I’m dead no matter what I do!
[gets a half smile on his face looking at his dad, then decides to re-write the postcard; writing; stops when he realizes that won’t work either; angrily stomps his foot on the dashboard. The glove compartment pops open and the map unfolds into his lap. He follows the route on it to Lake Destiny and then looks down to Los Angeles. A pencil rolls out of the glove compartment and conveniently stops, pointing from the route on the map directly to Los Angeles Max picks up the pencil then starts erasing. He then draws a new route to Los Angeles. The pencil tip breaks just before he finishes. Goofy yawns. Max breaks out in a cold sweat, picks up the pencil tip and finishes the drawing, puts the map back in the glove compartment and sits back nervously as Goofy seems to awaken]
Goofy
How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
Max
Uh... three and a half?
Goofy
.
[goes back to sleep]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Camping and Fishing Plans with Family
Goofy
Hey, Max. You wanna get in some fishing practice? Just a couple of days ‘til we get to Lake Destiny.
Max
Maybe later.
[wanders off]
Max
Whoa! Now that’s camping!
[comes back to see what’s happening]
Goofy
You say something, Max? Ow! Pete?
[gets hit by a door of RV]
Pete
Goofy? What a serendipity do dah! Who’da thunk it, huh?!
Max
Is PJ here?
Pete
Who? Oh, yeah. I'm sure he's loafing around here somewhere.
Max
What a goob!
[turns off the stereo]
PJ
Stand out! Above the crowd! Even if you got to shout out loud! No matter what you look it’s Max I get... Max!
[begins treating the buffer like a microphone, still singing; spoken]
PJ
Woah! Small wilderness, dude! Didn’t expect to run into you.
Max
Apparently not!
PJ
You’re just jealous man, ‘cause you ain’t got the moves!
Max
Yeah, you can keep the moves. But I wouldn’t mind having this RV. You’re so lucky, man!
PJ
Me? Aw, come on! You’re the star!
Max
What are you…
PJ
Going to the Powerline concert! Aw, it’s unbelievable, man!
Max
Who told you about that?
PJ
Hey, come on! Everybody in town knows about it, Max. You're gonna be famous, buddy. Especially with Roxanne.
[Discussing Max's alleged trip to the Powerline concert]
Max
There's just one person who doesn't know about this, PJ.
PJ
Who?
Max
My dad.
Pete
So tell me, Goof. Is that kid of yours still giving you guff?
Goofy
Oh, I don't know what's wrong. Just seems like everything I try only drives Max further away. Maybe I oughta just back off, I don't know.
Pete
Wrong, Goof. Look, if you keep em under your thumb, they'll never end up in the gutter.
Goofy
Too bad, Pete. Almost.
Pete
Almost? Hah! Watch this. PJ!!!
[angrily looks at Goofy; yelling loudly]
PJ
Here, sir! Coming, sir! Yes, sir!
[runs up to the top of the RV]
Pete
Whoo-hoo! Strike-ola! Yee-haw! Thank you. Thank you. Yes! And the crowd goes wild! Ahh-ha-ha-ha! High five, son! Psych! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Say, Goof. Why don't you two stay for dinner?
[points at the pin. PJ goes over and kicks it down]
Max
Cool!
Goofy
Oh, no thanks, Pete. Max and I have some ] to catch.
[[w:fish|fish]
Max
Dad, we can do that tomorrow. So what are we having?
[angrily sighs; to Pete]
Goofy
But Max, I thought...
Pete
Under your thumb, Goof.
[clears throat]
Goofy
Maximilian!
[sternly confronts Max]
Max
What?
[annoyed]
Goofy
Get your gear, little man! We're going fishing! And I mean NOW!
[sternly orders Max; loudly shouts]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Max's Determination to Change His Identity
Goofy
Maxie! Wait up! You forgot your lunch! Have a good day!
[comes around from the back; kisses Max]
Max
They’ve been laughing since I can remember, but they’re not gonna laugh anymore! No more "Maxie the geek"! No more "Goof of the week" like before!
[singing]
Girl tearing up test
No more algebra tests ‘til September!
[singing]
Boy
No more looking at losers like him!
[singing]
Bully with crib notes on arm
No more having to cheat!
[singing]
Another Bully
No more mystery meat!
[singing]
Boy
No more gym!
[singing]
Another Boy
No more gym!
[singing]
Yet Another Boy
No more gym!
[singing]
Yet Another Another Boy
No more gym!
[shouting]
Girl with credit cards
Gonna move to the mall!
[singing]
Beach Boy
Gonna live in the pool!
[singing]
Max
Gonna talk to Roxanne and not feel like a fool!
[singing]
All
‘Cause after today I’m gonna be cruising!
[singing]
Max
After today she’ll be mine!
[singing]
All
After today my brains’ll be snoozing!
[singing]
Max
If I don’t faint, I’ll be fine!
[singing]
Twin Girls
I’ve got forty more minutes of Home Economics!
[singing]
Twin Boys
Then down with the textbooks…
[singing]
Nerdy Boys
And up with the comics!
[singing]
Max
Just think of all of the time I’ve been losing, finding the right thing to say!
[singing]
All
But things’ll be going my way, after today!
[singing]
Max
She looked right through me! And who could blame her? I need a new me, plus some positive proof that I’m not just a goof! And…
[waves, but Roxanne does not see him, singing]
All
After today I’m gonna be cruising!
[singing]
Two Girls in black
No more pep rallies to cut!
[singing]
All
After today my brains’ll be snoozing!
[singing]
Bus Driver
I’m gonna sit on my butt!
[singing]
Max
I’ve got less than an hour and when this is ended, I’ll either be famous…
[singing; slides down the banister and accidentally bumps into Principal Mazur]
Principal Mazur
Or you’ll be suspended!
[shakes his fist, singing]
All
Just think of all of the time I’ve been losing, waiting until I could say: Gonna be on my own, kiss the parents good-bye! Gonna party from now ‘til the end of July! Things’ll be going my way after today!
[singing]
Max
I wish that this was the day after today!
[singing; starts to step down, but trips and tumbles down, falling flat on his face at the bottom, losing his hat and shades]
Roxanne
Are you all right?
[comes over and helps him up]
Max
Yeah, yeah, I’m okay, I just ah, duh,…
[puts on his hat and shades; starts laughing, the emits a Goofy "Uhyuck!", covers his mouth and dashes away, accidentally tripping over some garbage cans. He looks back at Roxanne for a moment, then runs away with an cry of anguish]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Excitement Over New Bedroom Decor
Goofy
Gosh!
Max
Whoa ho ho! Check out the bed!
[notices the waterbeds with goldfish]
Goofy
Check out the dresser--coral!
Max
Nice lamp!
[turns a mermaid lamp off and on]
Goofy
Classy choice there, navigator.
Pete
This is the police! We’ve got the place surrounded, see! You Goofs come out with your hands up! You should've seen the look on your face!
[starts laughing]
Goofy
You really had him fooled, Pete!
Max
Me? You jumped out of your skin!
Goofy
Uh uh! I was just pretending for your sake!
Max
Oh, right! Sure!
Goofy
Did too!
Max
Did not!
Pete
Oh, ain’t this sweet! Don’t let him fool you with that buddy-buddy act, now. Under your thumb! So, since we’re all being palsy-walsy here, how about letting me hook up the RV?
[aside to Goofy; thumbs Goofy’s nose]
Goofy
Well…
Pete
Oh, it’s just a tiny little extension cord. You’ll hardly even notice it.
Goofy
Okay.
Pete
Great! PJ!
Pete
Hey, Goof. Why don’t ya order us a pizza? This might take a while.
PJ
…no I mean it, they…
Goofy
Here ya go, kids. I’m gonna go check out the hot tub.
PJ
Oh, okay, sir!
Max
All right.
PJ
I can’t believe you, man. Whatever made you think your dad would fall for a stupid idea like that?
Max
It wasn’t stupid!
PJ
Come on, it was really stupid! Changing the map?
Max
Look, I didn’t know what I was doing, all right? I…I was… I was panicked!
Pete
Taking a break from the MTV generation, huh? Can't say I blame ya. People are always putting too much water in these things. So, um... you and your son seem to be, uh, getting along just hunky-dory, huh?
Goofy
Yeah, it's been great! You know, it's funny, but none of your techniques worked for me. The harder I tried, the worse it got. Once I eased up, things just clicked!
Pete
Oh, that's swell. So, there's no problems then, huh?
Goofy
Not a one!
Pete
That's, uh I just hate to be the bearer of bad news, but uh...
Goofy
What is it, Pete?
Pete
Your kid's duping ya.
Goofy
What do you mean?
Pete
Well, I heard the little mutant telling PJ that he changed the map, so you're heading straight to Los Angeles, pal.
Goofy
What?
Pete
Oh, you tried, Goof. He's just a bad kid, that's all.
Goofy
I don't believe you.
Pete
What?
Goofy
I don't believe ya, Pete!
Pete
Well, hey, don't take my word for it. Check your map.
Goofy
I don't need to check the map. I trust my son. You know, maybe Max isn't all the things that you think a son should be, but he loves me.
[with a quietly defiant mien]
Pete
Hey, my son respects me.
Goofy
Yeah.
[listlessly]
Pete
Check the map, Goof!
[calling after him]
Max
Hi, dad. Sorry about the mess. I’ll-I’ll clean it up.
PJ
(whispering) I think I better go.
Max
(whispering) See ya, PJ.
PJ
(whispering) Don’t forget: Powerline!
Max
Shhhhhh!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Goofy's Playful Interaction with Children
Goofy
A-hyuck! Come on, smile! Smiley wiley! Aw, come on, Kimmie! Gimme a big…
[A photo studio a rubber duck and making baby sounds; A baby girl named kimmie. He squeezes a rubber ducky, the squeaker on the rubber ducky pops out which caused Goofy to choke and accidentally swallows it, squeaks when he tried to speak. The child likes it and breaks into a big smile. Goofy takes advantage of this to begin taking pictures and playing peekaboo with the child]
Pete
Stop goofing around! We got work to do!
[furiously come up behind Goofy, angrily slaps him on the back and knocks the squeaker out of Goofy’s throat]
Goofy
Okay, Kimmie, back to mommy, now. A-hyuck! You're such a cute little girlie. Oh, come back and see me!
Mommy
Oh, you have such a way with children!
Pete
You have such a way with children! Pleh!
[angrily mocks Kimmie's mother]
Goofy
Okay, now! Who’s next over he…
[approaches a little girl and her mother she bored. A waiting for a picture]
Pete
Step aside, Goof. Let a pro show ya how it’s done. Okay! Who’s next over here? Heh, heh! Oh, hello precious..
[grabs Goofy out of his way]
Pete
Doh! Ow! You lucky woman! Now-now, now you come on here, honey! It’s picture time! She’s so cute!
[holds his knee]
Little girl
Peekaboo! Peekaboo!
[giggles and hides]
Goofy
Gosh, Pete. You sure are good with kids.
Pete
Oh, yeah. Well, they love me. Why, PJ, he's been begging me to take him on vacation this summer.
Goofy
Really? Where you going?
Pete
Camping! Nothing like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between a father and a son.
Goofy
Oh, Max would never go for anything like that.
Pete
I don't know, Goof. Something's wrong when a kid won't spend time with his parents. For all you know, he's running around with some gang and stealing stuff and causing riots, and...
Goofy
Oh, Max is a good kid. He'd never get mixed up in something like that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Father's Encouragement Amid Doubts
Max
Dad?
[whispers; he opens a base fiddle base and Goofy falls out.]
Goofy
We made it! Come on, Max! Let’s get you on stage!
Max
Uh, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.
Max
Uh, then again… Dad? Dad!
[he notices that his dad is nowhere to be seen.]
Powerline
I got myself a notion and one I know that you’ll understand. We set the world in motion by reaching out for each other’s hand.
[singing]
Max
Dad?
[under the stage trying to find Goofy.; looks up and sees Powerline from the back]
Powerline
Maybe we’ll discover what we should have known all along.
[singing]
Security Guard
What are you doing here? Hey!
Powerline
(singing) One way or another, together’s where we both belong.
Goofy
Max? Max?
[is backstage going through a hall of dressing rooms]
Powerline
If we listen to each other’s heart, we’ll find we’re never too far apart, and maybe love is the reason why, for the first time ever, we’re seeing it I 2 I.
[singing]
Bobby
That Goof kid ain’t there!
Stacey
Don’t worry, he’ll be there.
[To Roxanne]
Goofy
Excuse me, but uh… Max?
[he ends up accidentally center stage with Powerline. he squints into the audience.]
Max
Hey, Dad! Dad! Do the Perfect Cast!
Powerline
(singing) If you’re ever lonely, stop. You don’t have to be. After all it’s only a beat away from you to me.
Powerline
If we listen to each other’s heart, we’ll find we’re never too far apart.
[singing]
Bobby
Yeah! Max is on the tu-ube! That’s Max! I know him!
Powerline
And maybe love is the reason why for the first time ever, we’re seeing it I 2 I.
[singing]
PJ
He did it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Encounters at the Leaning Tower
Bobby
Max, look! It's the Leaning Tower of Cheeza!
[shows Max his "cheesy" model of the Leaning Tower of Pisa]
Pete
What's the idea?! BIGFOOT!
[sees Max and Goofy being chased by Bigfoot alarmed]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Max's Surprising Encounter with Bigfoot
Max
Uh, D-D-D-Dad, it's BIGFOOT!
['''Goofy''': Look, Max!; '''Goofy''': Could you back up a bit, Mr. Foot? You're out of focus.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Farewell to Familiar Places
Goofy
Goodbye, house! Goodbye, mailbox! Goodbye, pile of broken wood!
[backs up and damages his fence]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication Between Father and Son
Max
Hey-hey-hey! The car!
[angrily kicks the tire and then leans on the hatchback. The car rolls forward and leaves him sprawling in the dirt]
Goofy
What? Now you wanna drive too?
[turns around]
Max
No, Dad! The car! LOOK!
[points at the car]
Goofy
The car!
[shocked]
Goofy
What’d you do now, Max?!
[angrily gets in a heated argument with Max]
Max
I didn’t do anything, Dad! I only touched it!
Goofy
You locked it!
[manages to grab the door handle]
Max
I locked it? It’s your door. You locked it!
[enraged]
Goofy
Well, you distracted me!
Max
You should've put the brake on!
[He pulls his father into the car]
Goofy
Why don't you just put it on yourself?
[He pulls the brake, but it suddenly breaks off]
Max
See? You ruin everything!
Goofy
Well, you ruined the vacation!
Max
I ruined it?! I never wanted to go on this stupid VACATION! Now look where you got us, Dad!
[The car goes crashing from one rock pillar to another; The car splashes into the river. The car has landed in the stream with the Goofs inside]
Goofy
Where I got us?!
Max
You should have let me stay at home!
Goofy
Why? So you'd end up in ]?
[[w:prison|prison]
Max
Prison? What are you talking about?
Goofy
Your principal called me!
Max
It's not what you think, Dad!
Goofy
You even lied to me!
Max
I had to! You were ruining my life!
Goofy
I was only trying to take my boy fishing, okay?!
Max
I'm not your little boy anymore, Dad! I'm grown up! I've got my own life now!
Goofy
I KNOW THAT! I just wanted to be part of it! You're my son, Max. No matter how big ya get, you'll always be my son.
[calmer]
Max
There are times you drive me, shall we say, bananas... and your mind is missing, no offense, a screw...
[singing]
Goofy
None taken!
[spoken]
Max
Still, whatever mess I land in, who is always understanding? Nobody else but you!
[singing]
Goofy
Oh, you moodiness is now and then bewildering... and you values may be, so to speak, askew!
[singing]
Goofy
Thanks! Who deserves a hero’s trophy as we face each catastrophe? Nobody else but you!
[spoken; singing]
Both
(singing) Nobody else but you! It’s just our luck. We’re stuck together! Nobody else but you! It’s crazy enough to believe we’ll come through!
Goofy
(singing) And your music sounds like monkeys in a zoo!
Both
(singing) But when life becomes distressing, who will I be S-O-S-ing?
Both
(singing) Nobody else but you! We’ve turned into a true blue duo! Hard times--we’ve had a few…
Max
(singing) Like we’re tossed out of town…
Both
(singing) But when I start to sink, hey, I’d rather go down with nobody else but Y - O - U!
Max
(spoken) Aw, Dad!
Max
…Well, anyway. I figure she’s never gonna wanna talk to me again, much less go out with me. What a dumb lie, huh?
Goofy
Well, whaddya know. My Maxie -- in love! Gosh, you’re really growing up! It happened so fast, I... guess I sort of missed it! Welp, I think the only thing for us to do now is to get you up on stage with this Powerline fellar.
Max
Uh, how are we gonna do that?
Goofy
Now, you just leave that up to me.
Max
No, Dad, really. I-I think we should just, you know, forget it.
Goofy
Now, how come you always think I’m gonna lead ya into some sort of calamity?
Max
Duh, duh, Dad?
[looks ahead, shocked]
Goofy
What’s wrong now?
Max
LOOK!
[turns his dad’s head forward]
Goofy
A waterfall. WATERFALL?!?!
[panicked]
Max
DAAAAAAD!
Goofy
Max!
Goofy
Grab a hold, Max!
Max
Whooooa!
Max
Dad!
Goofy
MAAAAAAAX!
Max
Ten o’clock. Quarter to three. Tour Jete. Twist. I’m a little teapot. Let ‘er fly!
[almost without thinking and now remembering what his dad did at the fishing area, he spins the fishing pole around and starts doing the Perfect Cast and throws the line to his dad; The fishing line flies toward the retreating figure of Goofy, who screams while falling down. Both are soon lost in the mist at the base of the falls. Max begins to worry that he is too late. Then the line goes taut. Max gasps, and begins to get pulled down, but starts reeling in the line. Soon, the figure of his father can be seen, hooked by the seat of his pants. Max, relieved, reels Goofy in all the way. Goofy with tears in his eyes knows how his son saved him.]
Goofy
The Perfect Cast.
Max
Boy, this has been one crazy vacation.
Goofy
And it’s not over yet!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Journey of Nostalgia and Connection
Goofy
Day one. Well, here we are, out on the open road, retracing the steps of my boy hood. And here's Maxie! A-hyuck! Say hi, Max!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Max's Regret Over Awkward Interaction
Max
I can't believe I did that! She finally says "hi" to me, and what do I do?! I choke! "A-hyuck!" Like a big spaz!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggles and Humor in Teenage Life
Max
I’m a failure--complete loser! My one chance to impress Roxanne and I blew it.
[depressed]
Bobby
Uh, huh! Max! Look! It’s the leaning tower of cheeza!
[reveals something he has been working on for a while; stuffs the cheese in his mouth]
PJ
Oh, man! My dad is gonna smash me like a bug!
[comes out of the Principal’s office with a vacant look on his face]
Bobby
Hey, PJ! Detention!
[laughs jokingly]
Principal Mazur
Robert Zimmeruski.
Bobby
Okay, I’m coming! Max, here. Guard this with your life, dude. Hey, Mazur! What’s up, bro!
[nervously calls Mazur; hands Max can of cheese; wheels the dolly of video equipment into Principal Mazur’s office and gives Max a double thumbs up]
Stacey
…with all those kids in my house the place will be like a sauna so I’m all freaked out, but then I thought, "Like, use it!" So my theme's gonna be: "Powerline Goes Rain Forest"! Too much? Roxanne, are you listening?
[fading]
Stacey
Ahhhh!
Roxanne
No, I don’t wanna…
Stacey
Talk to him!
[whispers]
Stacey
Tap him!
[whispers]
Max
Gosh, I’m... I’m sorry.
[looks at Roxanne and smiles, gets up out of the chair then starts to help Roxanne pick up the papers and books]
Roxanne
It’s okay. Really.
Roxanne
Um, I-I liked your dance.
Max
Yeah. Yeah? Uh, yeah! It’s from Powerline’s new video!
Roxanne
I know! He’s, he’s totally a genius!
Max
Uh, yeah! He, he’s doing a concert next week in Los Angeles!
Roxanne
Oh, yeah! Stacey is showing it at her party.
Max
Um, uh, Roxanne, I was, uh, sorta kinda thinking that maybe I’d, uh, ask you to go with me, that is, to the … party. Of course if you don’t want to I’d completely understand!
[fidgets and fumbles for a while; cough]
Roxanne
Well, I was, sorta kinda thinking that … I’d love to!
Max
Yeah?
Roxanne
Yeah!
Max
Good!
Roxanne
Great!
Max
Terrific!
Roxanne
Wonderful!
Max
All right!
Roxanne
Okay!
Stacey
Come on, Roxanne. We don’t wanna belabor the moment now, do we?
[grabs Roxanne’s arm and beings to drag her away]
Roxanne
Well, I’d better be going.
Max
I’ll, uh, call you later!
Roxanne
Okay! Bye!
[she backs into the door. Giggles nervously, then with a final "Bye." leaves the office.]
Stacey
See? That wasn’t so bad! I told you men are easy to deal with!
Max
Yes! She said yes! Woo hoo hoo hoo! Everybody mambo!
[grabs Miss Maples and beings to mambo with her]
Miss Maples
It’s not my break yet!
Bobby
Yeah! Dance with her! Groove with her!
Principal Mazur
Miss Maples! Get that boy’s father on the phone at once!
[enraged]
Miss Maples
Yes sir! Right away, sir!
[sing-songish]
Goofy
Hello.
Principal Mazur
Uh, yes, Mr. Goof. This is Principal Mazur. I’m calling in regard to your son, Maximillian.
Goofy
Max? Oh my gosh! Is he hurt?
Principal Mazur
No, Mr. Goof. He’s in trouble!
[enraged]
Goofy
Trouble? What kinda trouble?
Principal Mazur
Dressed like a gang member..
Goofy
Gang member?
Principal Mazur
…your son caused the entire student body to break into a riotous frenzy!
Goofy
Riot? It couldn’t be my…
Principal Mazur
If I were you, Mr. Goof, I’d seriously re-evaluate the way you’re raising your child, before he ends up IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR!
[ticked off; angrily hangs up the phone]
Goofy
The electric chair? What am I gonna do?
[lets the phone drop; bathed in a beam of blue light]
PA
Blue light special on aisle 3. Blue light special on aisle 3.
Goofy
Lake Destiny.
[bobs the head of one of the figures, which bounces around a while]
Pete
Okay, kiddo, now smile!
Goofy
Lake Destiny, Idaho!
Pete
Lake Whodawhata…
Goofy
You were right, Pete. Nothing like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between father and son! You said so yourself!
Pete
Well, yeah, but, ah…
Goofy
I’m going fishing! I’m going fishing with my boy!
[takes off his hat and dances away, then puts it back on]
Pete
Yah! Okay, precious, give me a big smi…
Little girl
Fishy! Fishy!
[giggles as she runs after Goofy]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Chaos in the Diner Kitchen
Cook
Pick up!
Waitress
Hold your horses! Short stack?
[picks up the food and carries it to Max and Goofy]
Goofy
Right here!
Waitress
Here you go, hon. Eggs? Eggs? Eggs!
Max
Oh! Oh! Yeah, yeah! Right here! Sorry.
Waitress
Here you go, cutie.
Goofy
Max, I think we need to talk about this.
[picks up the map, waving it at Max]
Max
Huh?
Goofy
Seems to me you need to start taking some responsibility around here. Excuse me. Uh, can I have your attention please? I, Goofy, hereby dub my son, Maximillian, official navigator and head which-wayer of this here road trip!
[clears throat]
Max
Seriously?
Goofy
I’m not even looking at the map anymore. As a matter of fact, you can pick all the stops from here to Lake Destiny. I trust ya wholeheartedly, son. To the open road!
[picks up his coffee cup]
Max
To the open... road.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication Among Friends
Roxanne
Max… Max… Max…
Max
Roxanne? What’s wrong?
[appears close up and gasps at the sound of his name. He looks around for the source, finally squinting into the audience. The camera reverses viewpoint to show a tall pedestal with a female figure on top. Max begins to run through the wheat toward it. Finally reaching the clearing in the wheat, Max can now see who is on the pedestal clearly, a beautiful girl, in Max’s age; A girl, named Roxanne, is holding a white dandelion and she gently blows the seeds toward Max. Max is mesmerized by the seeds. Roxanne leaps from atop the pedestal and gracefully glides down toward Max. Max attempts to catch her, but they end up falling down on the ground. They giggle for a while, then look at each other. Max sighs. Roxanne puckers her lips for a kiss. Suddenly the sky changes to overcast gray and the wheat changes to thorns. Roxanne gasps and draw away, shocked. The camera switches to Max, who now has incredibly large buck teeth; notices his teeth. Then his ears grow, and his hands. Roxanne backs off, terrified. Max's feet grow so big they burst out of his shoes and he continues to grow and change until he looks exactly like his father, Goofy. Roxanne screams. Max feels a Goofy laugh force its way out of his throat like the howl of a werewolf]
Max
Hello? Hello?
[picks up the receiver and answers it]
PJ
Max? Where the heck are you, man?
[on phone]
Max
PJ?
PJ
You should have been here an hour ago!
[on phone]
Max
What? What are you… Hold on. Oh, no!
[hits his alarm clock which was showing 4:02. The numbers spin then show 7:50; leaps out of bed and begins to dress while still on the phone and puts on his pants]
PJ
Look, maybe we should just call the whole thing off!
[on phone]
Max
No way, man! It’s now or never!
PJ
Well, you better get a move on! I’ll meet you at my locker!
[on phone]
Goofy
Morning, son!
[open the door to Max’s room, dressed in his green hat, orange top, purple vest, blue pants and brown shoes and has a vacuum cleaner with him]
Max
DAD!!!
[embarrassed; yanks up his pants out of embarrassment]
Goofy
Oops! I forgot. Morning, son! I came to see if you had any…dirty…clothes…
[shuts door, knocks, then opens it again]
Max
Well, there they are! Help yourself!
[grabs his shirt and puts it on]
Goofy
Max! I thought we talked about this.
[notices that then entire floor is covered with dirty clothes]
Max
Yeah, look, I’m sorry, Dad. I’ll take care of it later!
[puts on his shoes]
Goofy
What’s the big rush?
Max
I’m running late.
[grabs his baseball hat, shades and his backpack]
Goofy
Well, I could drive you on my way to work.
[begins to vacuum up the dirty clothes]
Max
Uh, no thanks. I..uh..I need the exercise.
Goofy
Aw, come on, Max!
[accidentally allows the vacuum nozzle to get too close to a cardboard cut out of a singing rock star and The head of it gets sucked in]
Max
DAD! Aw, Dad! You ruined it!
[grabs the cut out, while Goofy holds the vacuum, turns off the vacuum and extracts the cut out, which has been curled in a couple of places; enraged]
Goofy
Sorry about that. Who was he, anyway?
[apologizes to Max]
Max
It’s only Powerline, Dad. The biggest rock star on the planet.
Goofy
Oh, not bigger than Xavier Cugat, The Mambo King! Everybody mambo! Mambo, mambo, mam-bo!
Max
Dad! Aw, come on, there’s no time for this! What if the neighbors see us, huh?
[extracts himself from Goofy and dashes out the door]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Goofy Celebrates the Mythical Bigfoot
Goofy
Behold the legendary Bigfoot!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Max's Embarrassment Over a Missed Opportunity
Max
I can’t believe I did that! She finally says "hi" to me and what do I do? I choke! Uhyuck! Like a big spaz!
PJ
Where have you been, buddy?
Max
Hi, Peej. Did you get the camera?
PJ
Look, Max, if my Dad catches me with this he’ll kill me! Are you sure we gotta do this?
Max
It’s my only chance, Peej. To Roxanne I’m just a nobody! But after today…
Max
Bobby!
[squints into it]
Max
Wow! All this is for us?
Bobby
Mmmmm. Slurpage!
Max
Oh, this is going to be so great, man!
Bobby
Dude, need fundage, bro.
[wraps around Max]
Max
Oh, your fee! Yeah, yeah! Right here.
[reaches into his backpack, and brings out a bag, handing it to Bobby]
Bobby
Cheddar! Cheddar Whizzie! Mmm. It's pretty scrumptious! Let’s do it, ladies!
[reaches into the bag and pull out an aerosol can; wolf howl; sprays an enormous amount of the cheese into his mouth, smacks his lips and coughs, spraying Max and PJ with cheese]
Stacey
As student body president, I just want to say, like, "yea" to all of us for a really neat year.
Trekkie
Yo, Stacey! Talk to me! Talk to me! Talk to me, baby!
Stacey
And also that I hope you can all attend my totally amazing end-of-school party next Saturday to watch the Powerline concert live on Pay-per-view.
Stacey
Thank you. Thank you very much. And now, without further ado, Principal Mazur.
Principal Mazur
Thank you, Stacey! And good morning, boys and girls! You know, every year, on the last day of school, I have several youngsters approach me and say, "Principal Mazur, what can we do to not waste our summer vacation? We don’t want to waste our free time sleeping or visiting friends…
Chad
Say, uh, Roxanne. About Stacey’s party…
Max
How are you, uh, how are you doing down there, Bobby?
[closes the curtain, and zips up his Powerline costume]
Bobby
Don’t give me that attitude, you guys. I’m doing it all for you.
PJ
This is nuts! I don’t know why I let you guys talk me into this. If my dad finds out, he’s gonna nuke my entire existence!
[trips on the wires backstage and partially goes under the curtain]
Max
Oh, I hope this works!
Principal Mazur
…how about Science Slumber Parties! What the...
[The spotlight goes out]
Principal Mazur
What? Hey! I’m not going to just...
[notices the screen rising; A trap door open up under the podium and it and Principal Mazur disappear down it]
Max
Some people settle for the typical thing: living all their lives waiting in the wings. It ain’t a question of if, just a matter of time, before I move to the front of the line. And once you watching every move that I make, you gotta believe that I got what it takes. To stand out above the crowd even if I gotta shout out loud. ‘Til mine is the only face you’ll see. Gonna stand out ‘til you notice me.
[lip synching]
Bobby
A little smokage! Arooo-oo-ooo!
[turns on a CO2 fire extinguisher]
Max
If I make you stop and take a look at me instead of just walking by, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do if it was getting you to notice I’m alive. All I need is half a chance, a second thought, a second glance will prove I got whatever it takes. It’s a piece of cake.
[lip synching]
Max
To stand out above the crowd. Even if I gotta shout out loud. ‘Til mine is the only face you’ll see. Gonna…
[lips synching; grabs a basketball and slam dunks it. As he swings back, he reaches out for Roxanne’s outstretched hand]
Girl
Wow! Who is that guy?
Boy
Hey, it’s the Goof Boy!
Bobby
We’re busted!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.