22 quotes
Entry Requirements at the Club
Bouncer
Nobody gets in unless they talk to the list.
Doug
We're on the list.
Bouncer
Name?
Steve
Steve and Doug Butabi.
Bouncer
You're brothers?
Doug
No...?
Steve
YES.
Doug
Man, works every time.
Bouncer
That's very funny.
Steve
Yea, Doug's hilarious.
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Choosing between home and dining out
Doug
Why go out for burgers when you have steak at home?
Steve
You're right, we should go out for lunch after this.
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Distractions from Business in Social Settings
Doug
About the store? You sit around thinking about the store? You're supposed to be thinking about... (sees two hot ladies) Hey what's up? (to the ladies)
Steve
You want some of this?
Doug
Or a little of that?
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Unexpected Encounters at the Pay Phone
Doug
So anyways, I was standing there waiting to use the pay phone.
Steve
Yeah, he was, seriously.
Doug
And this guy who was on the phone, turns around and tips his hat like this.
Steve
And who do you think that guy was?
Doug
Emilio Estevez.
Steve
The Mighty Duck man, I swear to God, I was there.
Doug
Of course you were, you were the one who yelled the Breakfast Clubber's name.
Steve
I was like, "Emilio.
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Ambiguous Advice from Father to Son
Steve
Dad, is there any way I can get out of this?
[on his marriage]
Kamehl Butabi
Yes... nooooooo.
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Overwhelmed by Attraction and Excitement
Steve
What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?
Doug
Steve, slow down.
Steve
I can't help it man, it's hottie overload.
Doug
Just pace yourself.
Steve
Ok... What's up?... 2, 3, 4. What's up?... 2, 3, 4...
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Misunderstanding About Cable Access
Steve
I miss Doug!
Kamehl Butabi
He's in the guest house! He's 20 feet away!
Steve
But he doesn't have cable!
Kamehl Butabi
Yes he does! He has Cinemax!
Steve
But there's no HBO! GOD!
[runs off crying]
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Humorous Pick-Up Line About Reflection
Doug
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
Cambi
What?
Doug
Cause I can see myself in your pants!
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Concerns About Friendship and Fitness
Craig
So hey, let me ask you something. How long have we been friends?
Steve
All seven years of high-school.
Doug
Yeah, at least.
Craig
That's why I gotta be real with you right now. As a professional trainer, guys, I'm a little worried about your triceps. i mean you guys are going all the week out and it's called full extention. And I'm not seeing it.
Doug
Craig, you're right. We actually had a long talk about that the other night.
Steve
Looong taaalk.
Craig
I just don't want you guys to cheat on yourselves. And I'm sorry to come down here like this but... pfff... in a weird way it's my job.
Steve
Hey, that's why we love you and we hate you.
Craig
So, still friends?
Doug and Steve
You know it!
Craig
I'm glad we had this talk.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding the Venue's Significance
Steve
Oh my god, Doug. This is the most amazing place I've ever been.
Richard Grieco
Guys, guys. This is the coat room. The club's in here.
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Casual Conversation About Time and Cars
Steve
Good, how are you?
Doug
About 8 o'clock, 8:15. Yeah, all the time.
Steve
BMW.
Doug
Right at sunset.
Steve
Vanilla mostly.
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Fear of Losing Friends
Cambi
There you are. We got scared.
Doug
Of who, we'll kick his ass.
Cambi
No we got scared someone stole you away from us.
Doug
Oh... oh, like some other girls would steal us away.
Steve
Oh...OH.
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Misunderstanding About a Meeting Location
Doug
So, is Johnny Depp meeting up here?
Richard Grieco
*hostile tone*...no.
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Making Business Contacts Through Dancing
Doug
Dad, last night, we made some very important business contacts.
Kamehl Butabi
Really? Doing what? Dancing the Macarena with ]?
[[Donald Trump]
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Misunderstanding in a Professional Encounter
Mr. Zadir
Dooey, did you just grab my ass?
Dooey
Sir, from where I'm standing, that's a physical impossibilty.
Mr. Zadir
Oh, I know your tricks, Dooey!
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Unexpected Attention from the Hottie Cop
Steve
What's up?
Hottie Cop
Do you know you were doing 50?
Doug
Hottie cop likes you. Think she pulls over just anybody? Make a move.
[whispers to Steve]
Steve
What's up?
Hottie Cop
Just giving you an $80 ticket.
Doug
She is so into you
[whispers to Steve]
Hottie Cop
I want you to do me a favor.
Steve
What ever you say, "T.J. Hooker".
Hottie Cop
(laughs) Please obey all posted speed limits. Have a good night
Steve
It's already been good, now that you have served and protected me.
Doug
Way to go brother! You got her badge number and you got a date to meet her at the Municipal State Court. Up top. Very nice! Yeah!
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Dance Invitation Before Entering the Club
Doug
So... you want to dance?
[outside The Roxbury]
Girl
We're not in the club yet.
Doug
Right.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dreams Remain Unstoppable Despite Challenges
Doug
You can take our phones and you can take our keys, but you cannot take away our dreams.
Steve
Yeah, because we're, like, sleeping when we have them.
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The Timelessness of Silk Flowers
Women In Flower Store
How long will they last?
Steve
Well, they'll last forever, cause they're silk. They'll always be there. They'll never die. They'll never change. They'll never say you're not good looking. They'll always be in your room where you left them and not suddenly move out to the guest house
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Plans for a Night Out at the Club
Kamehl Butabi
What I do understand is that you're going to a big new hot club tonight. Is that what it is?
Doug
That's right.
Steve
Exactly.
Kamehl Butabi
What I don't understand is how you're gonna get there.
[Kamehl takes their car keys]
Doug, Steve
What are you doing? God. Man.
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Inappropriate Advances and Uncertain Responses
Mr. Zadir
Wait a minute, did you just grab my ass?
Doug
No.
Mr. Zadir
Do you want to?
Doug
No... should I?
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Unexpected News from Pismo Beach
New Club Waiter
Mr. Zadir, Dooey just called from Pismo Beach. He says there's no way he could've grabbed your ass.
Mr. Zadir
What is he up to now?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.