A Night at the Roxbury (1998) - Quotes

Misunderstanding About a Meeting Location

Doug: So, is Johnny Depp meeting up here?

Richard Grieco: *hostile tone*...no.

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The Timelessness of Silk Flowers

Women In Flower Store: How long will they last?

Steve: Well, they'll last forever, cause they're silk. They'll always be there. They'll never die. They'll never change. They'll never say you're not good looking. They'll always be in your room where you left them and not suddenly move out to the guest house

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Unexpected Attention from the Hottie Cop

Steve: What's up?

Hottie Cop: Do you know you were doing 50?

Doug: [whispers to Steve] Hottie cop likes you. Think she pulls over just anybody? Make a move.

Steve: What's up?

Hottie Cop: Just giving you an $80 ticket.

Doug: [whispers to Steve] She is so into you

Hottie Cop: I want you to do me a favor.

Steve: What ever you say, "T.J. Hooker".

Hottie Cop: (laughs) Please obey all posted speed limits. Have a good night

Steve: It's already been good, now that you have served and protected me.

Doug: Way to go brother! You got her badge number and you got a date to meet her at the Municipal State Court. Up top. Very nice! Yeah!

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Casual Conversation About Time and Cars

Steve: Good, how are you?

Doug: About 8 o'clock, 8:15. Yeah, all the time.

Steve: BMW.

Doug: Right at sunset.

Steve: Vanilla mostly.

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Making Business Contacts Through Dancing

Doug: Dad, last night, we made some very important business contacts.

Kamehl Butabi: [[Donald Trump] Really? Doing what? Dancing the Macarena with ]?

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Misunderstanding About Cable Access

Steve: I miss Doug!

Kamehl Butabi: He's in the guest house! He's 20 feet away!

Steve: But he doesn't have cable!

Kamehl Butabi: Yes he does! He has Cinemax!

Steve: [runs off crying] But there's no HBO! GOD!

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Unexpected News from Pismo Beach

New Club Waiter: Mr. Zadir, Dooey just called from Pismo Beach. He says there's no way he could've grabbed your ass.

Mr. Zadir: What is he up to now?

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Humorous Pick-Up Line About Reflection

Doug: Is that a mirror in your pocket?

Cambi: What?

Doug: Cause I can see myself in your pants!

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Fear of Losing Friends

Cambi: There you are. We got scared.

Doug: Of who, we'll kick his ass.

Cambi: No we got scared someone stole you away from us.

Doug: Oh... oh, like some other girls would steal us away.

Steve: Oh...OH.

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Misunderstanding the Venue's Significance

Steve: Oh my god, Doug. This is the most amazing place I've ever been.

Richard Grieco: Guys, guys. This is the coat room. The club's in here.

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Plans for a Night Out at the Club

Kamehl Butabi: What I do understand is that you're going to a big new hot club tonight. Is that what it is?

Doug: That's right.

Steve: Exactly.

Kamehl Butabi: [Kamehl takes their car keys] What I don't understand is how you're gonna get there.

Doug, Steve: What are you doing? God. Man.

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Dance Invitation Before Entering the Club

Doug: [outside The Roxbury] So... you want to dance?

Girl: We're not in the club yet.

Doug: Right.

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Ambiguous Advice from Father to Son

Steve: [on his marriage] Dad, is there any way I can get out of this?

Kamehl Butabi: Yes... nooooooo.

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Misunderstanding in a Professional Encounter

Mr. Zadir: Dooey, did you just grab my ass?

Dooey: Sir, from where I'm standing, that's a physical impossibilty.

Mr. Zadir: Oh, I know your tricks, Dooey!

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Entry Requirements at the Club

Bouncer: Nobody gets in unless they talk to the list.

Doug: We're on the list.

Bouncer: Name?

Steve: Steve and Doug Butabi.

Bouncer: You're brothers?

Doug: No...?

Steve: YES.

Doug: Man, works every time.

Bouncer: That's very funny.

Steve: Yea, Doug's hilarious.

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Unexpected Encounters at the Pay Phone

Doug: So anyways, I was standing there waiting to use the pay phone.

Steve: Yeah, he was, seriously.

Doug: And this guy who was on the phone, turns around and tips his hat like this.

Steve: And who do you think that guy was?

Doug: Emilio Estevez.

Steve: The Mighty Duck man, I swear to God, I was there.

Doug: Of course you were, you were the one who yelled the Breakfast Clubber's name.

Steve: I was like, "Emilio.

Inappropriate Advances and Uncertain Responses

Mr. Zadir: Wait a minute, did you just grab my ass?

Doug: No.

Mr. Zadir: Do you want to?

Doug: No... should I?

Overwhelmed by Attraction and Excitement

Steve: What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?

Doug: Steve, slow down.

Steve: I can't help it man, it's hottie overload.

Doug: Just pace yourself.

Steve: Ok... What's up?... 2, 3, 4. What's up?... 2, 3, 4...

Choosing between home and dining out

Doug: Why go out for burgers when you have steak at home?

Steve: You're right, we should go out for lunch after this.

Distractions from Business in Social Settings

Doug: About the store? You sit around thinking about the store? You're supposed to be thinking about... (sees two hot ladies) Hey what's up? (to the ladies)

Steve: You want some of this?

Doug: Or a little of that?

Concerns About Friendship and Fitness

Craig: So hey, let me ask you something. How long have we been friends?

Steve: All seven years of high-school.

Doug: Yeah, at least.

Craig: That's why I gotta be real with you right now. As a professional trainer, guys, I'm a little worried about your triceps. i mean you guys are going all the week out and it's called full extention. And I'm not seeing it.

Doug: Craig, you're right. We actually had a long talk about that the other night.

Steve: Looong taaalk.

Craig: I just don't want you guys to cheat on yourselves. And I'm sorry to come down here like this but... pfff... in a weird way it's my job.

Steve: Hey, that's why we love you and we hate you.

Craig: So, still friends?

Doug and Steve: You know it!

Craig: I'm glad we had this talk.