12 quotes
The Dilemma of J.P. Norton
Narrator
Everybody likes Peggy. On the other hand, there's J.P. Norton, President of the bank. He'd lend you money on most anything, except his wife. Why should he be left holding the bag?
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Permanent Dimout Brings Hilarity
Taglines
THEY'RE IN A PERMENANT DIMOUT... and you'll be in hysterics!
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Striving for Improvement Amidst Imperfection
J.P. Norton
With those men, we can never achieve perfection.
Dan Madison
Oh, yes we can. We're getting better all the time. We won't make the same mistakes twice.
J.P. Norton
I hope not.
Dan Madison
Look, Mr. Norton, why are you doing this work?
J.P. Norton
Why? Why? To serve my country.
Dan Madison
Well, that's their idea too.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Volunteer or Victim: A Frustrated Perspective
J.P. Norton
I volunteered to be a victim. I certainly never thought I'd fall in the hands of those idiots! I'd rather fight Japs - bare handed.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defense Efforts for a Hysterical Home Front
Taglines
Daffies Of Defense... Making the Home Front Safe for Hysterics!
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Mobilizing for the Home Front Effort
Dan Madison
Look, fellas, Uncle Sam wants everybody. There's plenty to be done right here in the home front. Why, I have a job for you. Here, take some of these posters.
Stanley
Where?
Dan Madison
Everywhere! We're having a big meeting tonight in the high school gym.
Oliver
What for?
Dan Madison
The war effort!
Oliver
That's right! There's a job to be done - right here at home!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebrating Home Front Heroes in Film
Taglines
Their gayest film glorifies our home front heroes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Decision to Discontinue Equipment Use
Dan Madison
Boys, I hate to do this; but, I'll have to ask you to turn in your equipment.
Oliver
Now, Mr. Madison, surely you don't believe we were drunk last night?
Dan Madison
I'm sorry. The decision has been made. It's for the good of the service.
Stanley
You mean, they're better without us?
J.P. Norton
You men have caused nothing but trouble. First, you wrecked the gymnasium. Then you wrecked me. And now, drunk.
Stanley
Well, you know best. When we couldn't get in the Army or the Navy, Mr. Madison told us that we could do this kind of work and - it made us happy. We tried hard. But, I guess we're not smart like other people. But, if we can do something for our country, by not doing this work, we'll do that too. We'll do anything that Uncle Sam wants us to do. Won't we Ollie?
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A Cheerful Morning for the Nortons
Narrator
Good morning, Mr. Norton. And a good morning to you, Mrs. Norton! They're a very happy couple. J.P. worships the ground her grandfather discovered oil on.
[sarcastically]
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Key to Rescue in Air Raid Wardens
Oliver
Who's there?
[the German spies head for their upstairs office, knocking on door]
Rittenhause
It's Dan.
[in a disguised voice]
Oliver
We're rescued, give me the key.
Stanley
I gave it to you...
Oliver
Oh did you? I don't remember you giving me the key. I'm sure that you're - Just a minute, Dan, be right with you. I tell you, you did not give me the - Oh.
[sees the Germans and gasps]
Rittenhause
So sorry, gentlemen. We leave for the plant immediately. Heydrich, you take care of our friends here.
Heydrich
When?
Rittenhause
At your pleasure, of course. Come.
Oliver
Well, good-bye.
Heydrich
Freeze.
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Addressing Misfits in Challenging Situations
J.P. Norton
Madison, you've got to get rid of those misfits!
Dan Madison
I just talked to them, Mr. Norton. They're awfully broken up about this. I'm sure it was an accident.
J.P. Norton
They are both accidents!
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Stopping Spies: A Plan in Action
Stanley
What do we do?
Oliver
We've got to stop those spies, we'll warn Dan.
Stanley
That's a good idea.
Oliver
No no no no no, out the window.
Stanley
Aah, ooh, aah, ooh!
[Stan opens the window, accidentally kicking the ladder to the ground]
Oliver
Now how are we going to get word to Dan?
[Ollie pulls Stan back in the window]
Stanley
Let's call him up, we'll tell him right away we're going to...
Oliver
Put that down, that's a radio.
Stanley
What's this for?
Oliver
A carrier pigeon, lock that door. Get that pigeon. Listen. "Dear Dan, we are trapped on the second floor of the Moonbeam Inn on Highway 51. The place is a nest of Nazi spies; they're going to blow up the magnesium plant at 5:00. Bring help at once, we mean it, urgent. With fondest regards, yours truly, Laurel and Hardy, ex-air raid wardens." How's that? Now, there. You've got to get up early in the morning to fool us. Throw it out the window.
[Ollie writes a note while sitting at the desk; reads from letter; puts letter in pigeon's delivery tube; points to portrait of Hitler on the wall; to Stan]
Stanley
Does it know where to go?
Oliver
Now pigeon, you go straight to Huxton,
Stanley
Yeah, and find Mr. Madison, he's the editor of the paper.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.