31 quotes
The Red Queen's Tarts Have Gone Missing
Iracebeth (Red Queen)
SOMEONE HAS STOLEN THREE OF MY TARTS!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Dreaming and Danger in Wonderland
Chessur
It looks like you ran afoul of something with wicked claws.
[purrs]
Alice
But I'm still dreaming.
Chessur
What did that to you?
Alice
Bander who...the bander...
Chessur
The Bandersnatch? Well, I'd better have a look.
Alice
What are you doing?
Chessur
It needs to be purified by someone with evaporating skills or it will fester and putrefy.
Alice
I'd rather you didn't. I'll be fine as soon as I wake up.
Chessur
At least let me bind it for you. What do you call yourself?
[wraps up her wounds]
Alice
Alice.
Chessur
The Alice?
Alice
There's been some debate about that.
Chessur
I never get involved in politics.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Manipulation and Parental Expectations
Iracebeth (Red Queen)
I know what you're doing. You think you can blink those pretty little eyes, and I'll melt just like Mummy and Daddy did.
[to her sister, Mirana]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Defiance in Wonderland
Stayne
If you're hiding her, you will lose your heads.
[has his arm around Hatter's throat]
Hatter
Already lost them.
[strained]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning the Nature of Proper Attire
Helen Kingsleigh
Where is your corset? And no stockings.
[feeling Alice's stomach; checking Alice's legs]
Alice
I'm against them.
Helen Kingsleigh
But you are not properly dressed.
Alice
Who's to say what's proper? What if it were agreed that "proper" meant wearing a codfish on your head? Would you wear it?
Helen Kingsleigh
Alice.
[sternly]
Alice
To me a corset is like a codfish.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Preparing for Battle Against the Jabberwocky
Iracebeth (Red Queen)
Prepare the Jabberwocky for battle. We're going to visit my little sister.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Accusation of an Attempted Murder
Iracebeth (Red Queen)
HE TRIED TO KILL ME!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Dread of Imperfection and Expectations
Lady Ascot
Do you know what I've always dreaded?
Alice
The decline of the aristocracy?
[casually]
Lady Ascot
Ugly grandchildren. But you're lovely. You're bound to produce little...Imbeciles! The gardeners have planted white roses when I specifically asked for red.
[notices that the gardeners have planted the wrong color roses]
Alice
You could always paint the roses red.
Lady Ascot
What an odd thing to say.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Red Queen Commands the Jubjub Bird
Iracebeth (Red Queen)
RELEASE THE JUBJUB BIRD!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity Confusion in Wonderland
Absolem
Who are you?
Alice
Absolem?
Absolem
You're not Absolem, I'm Absolem. The question is, who are you?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dispute Over Missing Tarts
Iracebeth
Did you steal my tarts?
[crouches down to a frog servant's height; whispering]
Frog Servant
No, Your Majesty.
Iracebeth
Squimberry juice.
[wipes a splotch of juice from the corner of his mouth with her finger and tastes it; whispers]
Frog Servant
I was so hungry! I didn't mean to!
Iracebeth
OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Mysterious Futterwacken Dance Explained
Chessur
What's happened to you, Tarrant? You used to be the life of the party. You used to do the best Futterwacken in all of Witzend.
Alice
Futter what?
Thackery
Futterwacken!
Mally
It's a dance.
Hatter
On the Frabjous Day, when the White Queen once again wears the crown, on that day, I shall Futterwacken...victoriously.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Authority and Consequences in Wonderland
Iracebeth (Red Queen)
OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reality and Memory in Wonderland
Alice
It wasn't a dream at all, it was a memory. This place is real, and so are you and so is the Hatter.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Identity in a Dream World
Alice
How can I be the wrong Alice when this is my dream?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acknowledge Madness in Others
Iracebeth (Red Queen)
Never mind him, he's mad.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Trust Betrayed in a Time of Crisis
Alice
You were supposed to lead them away, the Hatter trusted you!
[to Bayard]
Bayard
They have my wife and pups.
Alice
What is your name?
Bayard
Bayard.
Alice
Sit!
Bayard
Would your name be...Alice? By any chance?
[sits]
Alice
Yes, but I'm not the one everyone's talking about.
Bayard
The Hatter would not have given himself up just for any Alice.
Alice
Where did they take him?
Bayard
To the Red Queen's castle in Salazen Grum.
Alice
We're going to rescue him.
Bayard
That is not foretold.
Alice
I don't care! He wouldn't be there if it weren't for me!
Bayard
The Frabjous Day is almost upon us. You must prepare to meet the Jabberwocky.
Alice
From the moment I fell down that rabbit hole I've been told what I must do and who I must be. I've been shrunk, stretched, scratched, and stuffed into a teapot. I've been accused of being Alice and of not being Alice but this is my dream. I'll decide where it goes from here.
Bayard
If you diverge from the path...
Alice
I make the path! To Salazen Grum, Bayard. And don't forget the hat.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Deceit and Betrayal
Iracebeth (Red Queen)
Liars! Cheats! Falsifiers! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Madness and Gratitude in Wonderland
Stayne
You're all mad!
Thackery
Thanks very much.
[belches loudly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Curiosity and Wonder
Alice
Curiouser and curiouser.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation About Head Sizes and Hats
Hatter
What a regrettably large head you have. I should very much like to hat it.
[to Iracebeth]
Iracebeth
Hat it?
Hatter
I used to hat The White Queen, you know. Poor dear, her head was so small.
Iracebeth
It's tiny. It's a pimple of a head.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Morning Executions and Their Enthusiasm
Iracebeth (Red Queen)
I love a morning execution, don't you?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call for Harsh Punishment
Alice
Off with your head!
[to the Jabberwocky as she raises the Vorpal Sword]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conversation About Identity and Confusion
Iracebeth
And what is this?
[referring to Alice, who's just grown to a large size and naked]
McTwisp
It's a who, majesty. This is...um...
Iracebeth
Um"?
Alice
From Umbridge.
[thinking quickly]
Iracebeth
What happened to your clothes?
Alice
I outgrew them. I've been growing an awful lot lately. I tower over everyone in Umbridge. They laugh at me. So, I've come to you hoping you might understand what it's like.
Iracebeth
My dear girl, anyone with a head that large is welcome in my court. Someone find her some clothes, use the curtains if you must, but clothe this enormous girl!
[to her subjects]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unrequited Love and Obsession Explored
Stayne
Um forced herself on me. I told her, "My heart belongs to you." But she's obsessed...with me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Madness in Wonderland
Hatter
Have I gone mad?
Alice
I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
[checking Hatter's temperature]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question of Identity in Wonderland
Stayne
And who is this lovely creature?
[sees Alice]
Iracebeth
Um, my new favorite.
Stayne
What is her name?
Iracebeth
Um.
Stayne
I believe your name has slipped the queen's mind.
[to Alice]
Iracebeth
Her name...is...Um, IDIOT!
Alice
From Umbridge.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fear Over Love: The Red Queen's Perspective
Iracebeth (Red Queen)
You're right, Stayne, it is far better to be feared than loved.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Red Queen Questions Her Rival's Champion
Iracebeth (Red Queen)
Where's your champion, sister? (Alice: Here.) Hello, Um.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Claiming Authority and Identity in Wonderland
Iracebeth (Red Queen)
No! It is MY crown! I AM THE ELDEST! JABBERWOCKY!!
[turns to her card guards]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Red Queen's Command Against the Hatter
Iracebeth (Red Queen)
The Hatter's interfering! Off with his head!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.