32 quotes
Unexpected Request for a Milkshake
Steve Stifler
Well, polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Stifler's Unconventional Congratulations
Steve Stifler
Congratulation, Jism!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Sentiment from Steve Stifler
Michelle Flaherty
Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. This is huge; it's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Stifler's Take on Poor Romantic Choices
Steve Stifler
No, no, no, shit-head, you hooked up with one other girl for what, ten seconds? Not to mention that you passed on Nadia, dumbest fucking thing ever. You're like a blind man picking out his favorite porno.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Love Defined Beyond Feelings
Michelle Flaherty
Love isn't just a feeling. It's shaving your balls.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Prioritizing work over distractions
Steve Stifler
Save it, dickhead, I'm working.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Confession in American Wedding
Paul Finch
I did fuck your Mom... Twice!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Stifler's Bold Plans for the Wedding
Steve Stifler
It's time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-fucker. Cause I'm gonna hang out with my wang out, and I'm gonna rock out with my cock out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Love is an Action, Not Just a Feeling
Michelle Flaherty
Jim, I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel. And I realized something. Love isn't just a feeling. Love is something you do. It's a dress, a visit to band camp. A special haircut. Jim, you've given me everything I ever wanted, and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Stifler's Bold and Crude Wedding Remarks
Steve Stifler
Fuck you Finch, you didn't eat shit OK, you didn't prance around here like a ballerina for the whole week. (Cadence appears) Oh wedding this, suck my ass that. I'm special, you're special, we're all just a bunch of special fuckers aren't we? Well, you know what? I'm-a gonna get laid Finch-fucker and it's going to be like "oh so good". It's gonna be like "Do you like this shit, mama?" and she's gonna be like "Fucking right, doggy, give it to me. Suck on my nipples like you're milking a cow!" Like... Moo (Not amused Cadence) Moo. Moo. (Looks at Cadence) You been here long?
[sucking noise; sucking noise; sucking noise]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perspectives on Love and Desire
Jim's Dad
Why do you think, uh, Michelle, they call it "making love"?
Michelle
I don't know. I just call it "boning".
Jim's Dad
Boning? Well, when-when you're doing other things with Jim, when you're not... um... boning, how does he make you feel?
Michelle
Horny, like I wanna bone.
Jim's Dad
But-but, we can't be boning from sunrise to sunset, dear.
Michelle
Oh, you've never tried it?
Jim's Dad
I certainly have. I have. I've boned... from sunrise, uh, right through brunch on more than one occasion.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Invitation Mishap on a Special Day
Steve Stifler
Happy "Fuck Day", Ass Mouth! What happened to my invite? Get lost in the mail, Fuckface?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Attraction in American Wedding
Steve Stifler
Told ya that guy wanted to fuck me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration with a clear message
Steve Stifler
Fuckface! What part of "This sucks my ass" do you not under-fucking-stand?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Comparison of Unusual Body Imagery
Steve Stifler
My dick looks like a corn dog and I've got cake all over my balls. Hey Finch, you want this for here or to go?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Stifler's sarcastic response to an invitation
Steve Stifler
Gee, thanks for inviting me to the graduation party, fucker.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Stifler's Challenge: It's On Like Donkey Kong
Steve Stifler
It's on like Donkey Kong, biotch.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Memorable Exclamation About Stifler's Mom
Paul Finch
Oh, Stifler's Mom!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Stifler's Priorities in American Wedding
Steve Stifler
If you'll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Stifler's Casual Farewell
Steve Stifler
Fine. Adios!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finch's Philosophy on Life and Love
Paul Finch
Hey I'm gonna give you a little piece of advice: love life, get paid, then get laid. That is the basic philosophy of... The Finch-meister!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rejecting Philosophical Ideals with Humor
Paul Finch
Voltaire can suck on my balls!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finch Asserts Control Over the Situation
Finch
Now, Jim, let me handle this. These are my people.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration and Encouragement in the Moment
Steve Stifler
This sucks! Did I say that out loud? Keep going, man. It's good.
[Kevin & Finch look at him; Whispers to Jim]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Stifler's Question About Thailand's Capital
Steve Stifler
Hey, Finch, what's the capital of Thailand? Bangkok!
[Hits Finch in the groin]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Cautionary Reminder About Animals
Jim's Dad
Son, step away from the animal...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dance Lesson with Stifler
Steve Stifler
Dear Steve, I will be forever in your debt if you teach me to dance like you did in the gay bar
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Toasting Friendship and Impoliteness
Kevin Myers
Guys, here's to the next step!
Paul Finch
Would you please shut up with that stepping?! Put your glass down!
Steve Stifler
Are you saying I'm impolite or something?
Jim
Impolite" would be an improvement.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebrating Unconventional Perspectives on Special Moments
Steve Stifler
Oh wedding this, suck my ass that. I'm special, you're special, we're all just a bunch of special fuckers. Well, you know what? Im-a gonna get laid Finch-fucker and it's going to be like oh so good. And I'm gonna be like "You like this shit, mama?" and she's gonna be like "Fucking right, doggy, give it to me. Suck on my nipples like you're milking a cow!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontational Statement by Steve Stifler
Steve Stifler
Suck my dick. Ron Jeremy
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Stifler's Attention and Approval
Steve Stifler
Everyone wants a piece of the Stifmeister.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Stifler's Unconventional Greeting
Steve Stifler
Hey, flower-fuckers, you there?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.