Animal Crackers (1930) - Quotes

Ravelli: The motive for the theft was robbery. That's my solution!

Spaulding: Yeah, and I wish you were in it! You ought to lie down for a couple of years.

Spaulding: When you get near a song, play it.

Ravelli: I think I went past it.

Spaulding: When you come around again, jump off.

Ravelli: I once kept this up for three days.

Ravelli: How did you get to be Roscoe W.Chandler?

Chandler: How did you get to be an Italian?

Ravelli: Never mind! Whose confession is this?

Ravelli: I've got Ace-a spades. He’s got Ace-a spades! Ha ha ha ha ha! That's what you called quinsidenses.

Mrs. Rittenhouse: Two Aces of spades?

Ravelli: Yeah, he's got thousands of them.

Hennessy: [to the Professor] You'd better come with me, young fellow!

Spaulding: [the Professor shakes Spaulding's hand] Don't take him away, Officer! He returned the paintings. Pardon me, my name is Spaulding, and I've always wanted to meet you.

Hennessy: [the Professor shakes his hand; the Professor grins and nods, startling Hennesy; Ravelli and Spaulding both roll their eyes] ...All right. I'll let him go this time. But I want to give you some advice: you're running around with the wrong kind of people! Do you want to be a crook? Now, why don't you go home?

Ravelli: He's got no home.

Hennessy: [the Professor nods, removing his left hand from his belt and letting it hang, Hennessy claps him on the right shoulder gently] Go home for a few nights, and stay home. Don't you know your poor old mother sits there-

Hennessy: [more silverware; more silverware] Sits there, night af- Night after night. Waiting to hear your steps on the stairs.

Ravelli: He's got no stairs.

Hennessy: [more silverware] And I can see a little light, burn- Burning in the window.

Spaulding: No you can't, the gas company turned it off.

Hennessy: [more silverware; more silverware; he is cut off completely by a crash as a particularly large bunch of silverware hits the floor] Now, what I'm telling you is for your own good- And if you listen to me- You can't go wrong-

Spaulding: This may go on for years.

Hennessy: [He is once again cut off by the silverware] Now, there's just one th-

Spaulding: [the Professor shifts his arm, and a coffeepot falls out of his sleeve] I can't understand what's delaying that coffeepot. Where's the cream?

Hennessy: Well, you've certainly surprised me!

Spaulding: Me too; I thought he had more than that!

Mrs. Rittenhouse: You are one of the musicians, but you were not due until tomorrow.

Ravelli: Couldn't come tomorrow, that's too quick.

Spaulding: Say, you're lucky he didn't come yesterday.

Ravelli: We were busy yesterday. But we charge just the same.

Spaulding: This is better than exploring. What do you fellas get an hour?

Ravelli: Oh, for playing, we get ten dollars an hour.

Spaulding: I see. What do you get for not playing?

Ravelli: Twelve dollars an hour.

Spaulding: Well, clip me off a piece of that.

Ravelli: Now for rehearsing, we make special rate: that's'a fifteen dollars an hour.

Spaulding: That's for rehearsing?

Ravelli: That's for rehearsing.

Spaulding: And what do you get for not rehearsing?

Ravelli: [snaps fingers] You couldn't afford it. You see, if we don't rehearse, we don't play. And if we don't play , that runs into money.

Spaulding: How much would you want to run into an open manhole?

Ravelli: [Laughs with Mrs. Rittenhouse.] Just the cover charge.

Spaulding: Well, drop in some time.

Ravelli: Sewer.

Spaulding: Well, we cleaned that up pretty well.

Ravelli: Well, let's see how we stand.

Spaulding: Flat-footed.

Ravelli: [to Mrs. Rittenhouse] Yesterday, we didn't come. You remember, yesterday, we didn't come.

Spaulding: Oh, I remember.

Ravelli: Yeah, that's three hundred dollars.

Spaulding: Yesterday, you didn't come, that's three hundred dollars.

Ravelli: Yes, that's three hundred dollars.

Spaulding: Well, that's reasonable, I can see that all right.

Ravelli: Now today, we did come. That's, uh...

Spaulding: That's a hundred you owe us.

Ravelli: Hey, I bet I'm gonna lose on the deal. Tomorrow, we leave. That's worth about...

Spaulding: A million dollars.

Ravelli: Yeah, that's all right for me, but I gotta partner.

Spaulding: A partner?!

Hives: [announcing] The Professor!

Guests: He put all his relianceIn courage and defianceAnd risked his life for science.

Spaulding: Hey, hey!

Mrs. Rittenhouse: He is the only white man who covered every acre...

Spaulding: I think I'll try and make her...

Guests: Hooray, hooray, hooray!

Guests: Hooray for Captain Spaulding, the African explorer!

Spaulding: Did someone call me schnorrer?

Guests: Hooray, hooray, hooray!

Signor Emanuel Ravelli: [about playing bridge] How do you want to play...honest?

Jeffrey Spaulding: I don't like Junior crossing the tracks on his way to the reform school. I don't like Junior at all, as a matter of fact.

Jeffrey Spaulding: [[w:AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movie Quotes|American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations] * Note: bolded portion ranked #53 in the ] in American cinema.

Jeffrey Spaulding: One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know. Then we tried to remove the tusks. The tusks. That's not so easy to say, tusks. You try that some time...As I say, we tried to remove the tusks, but they were embedded in so firmly that we couldn't budge them. Of course, in Alabama, the Tusk-a-loosa. But, uh, that's entirely ir-elephant to what I was talking about. We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. But we're going back again in a couple of weeks.

Jeffrey Spaulding: The principal animals inhabiting the African jungle are moose, elks and Knights of Pythias. Of course, you all know what a moose is. That's big game. The first day, I shot two bucks. That was the biggest game we had. As I say, you all know what a moose is? A moose runs around on the floor, and eats cheese, and is chased by the cats. The elks, on the other hand live up in the hills, and in the spring they come down for their annual convention. It is very interesting to watch them come to the water hole. And you should see them run when they find it is only a water hole. What they're looking for is an elk-a-hole'.

Jeffrey Spaulding: Well, this bear was anemic and he couldn't stand the cold climate. He was a rich bear and he could afford to go away for the winter. You take care of your animals and I'll take care of mine! Frozen North, my eye! From the day of our arrival, we led an active life. The first morning saw us up at six, breakfasted, and back in bed at seven - this was our routine for the first three months. We finally got so we were back in bed at six thirty. One morning, I was sitting in front of the cabin, smoking some meat...Yes. There wasn't a cigar store in the neighborhood. As I say, I was sitting in front of the cabin when I bagged six tigers...Six of the biggest tigers...I bagged them. I...I bagged them to go away, but they hung around all afternoon. They were the most persistent tigers I've ever seen.

Jeffrey Spaulding: Friends, I'm gonna tell you of the great, mysterious, wonderful continent known as Africa. Africa is God's country, and He can have it.

Jeffrey Spaulding: [to audience] Pardon me while I have a strange interlude. Why, you couple of baboons! What makes you think I'd marry either one of you! Strange how the wind blows tonight. It has a thin eerie voice, that reminds me of poor old Marsden. How happy I could be with either of these two if both of them just went away!

Jeffrey Spaulding: [singing] Hello, I must be going.I cannot stay, I came to say,I must be going.I'm glad I came, but just the sameI must be going.

Jeffrey Spaulding: [to Mrs. Rittenhouse] Why, you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you.