31 quotes
Reflection on Christmas and Growing Up
Grandsanta
Poor Evie. Sun'll be up soon. It's Christmas!
Arthur
Christmas is for kids. You grow out of it.
Bryony
What, in the last 6 minutes?
Arthur
I know what you all say about me, you know. "He belongs in the South Pole." "Dear Arthur, what a puzzle." Well, you were right. All that fuss over one kid, I was being ridiculous. This is nice. It's good to get away from it all, you know? All the Christmas fuss.
[scoffs; as an elf; as Santa; in his normal voice; lies down]
Grandsanta
I'm sorry I messed things up, lad. You see, the night I last took Evie out, when there was all that...fuss, your father came to me. I'll never forget it. Couldn't look me in the eye. "Dad", he says. "Steve thinks it’s best you don't fly again. We're scrapping the sleigh." Me own son...who used to sit where you sat looking up at me. I just wanted them to remember who I used to be. I was a bit like you, lad. Keen as cranberry. So was your dad. You get old, that's all. Everything...changes.
[gets up and sits next to Arthur; Arthur looks away]
Arthur
Does it? How can I ever write another letter saying that Santa cares? Good night, Dad. Sleep well.
[gets up quickly and grabs Gwen's letter; throws the letter down, then takes off his last slipper and throws it into the sea]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Arthur's Journey with Jingle Bells
Arthur
Jingle bells / This boat smells / 3,000 miles to go
[struggling to row the boat way across the Atlantic Ocean to Trelew, grunting and singing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Christmas Preparations Underway at the North Pole
North Pole Computer
Christmas accomplished. Commence decking halls.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Missed Gifts and Family Expectations
Arthur
It just can't be. It can't. It just can't be. It j-just CAN'T BE! Oh...
[accidentally knocks over a snow globe]
Grandsanta
What's all this kadoodle, young man?
[having overheard the commotion]
Arthur
Grandsanta, it's this little girl, she's been missed!
Grandsanta
HA! So much for your brother's fancy-pants technology!
Arthur
Steve and Dad racked their brains but said it's impossible.
Grandsanta
Is it now? Missed a child? Dear, oh dear. Sends shivers down me shins.
Arthur
In two hours, she's gonna wake up, tear downstairs, search under the tree, and... that look on her face. But there's nothing there. She won't understand. She'll think she's the one kid on the whole world that Santa doesn't care about. She'll feel so... left out. On Christmas night, he comes. Gwen can't not have a present from Santa!
[frowns sadly; straightens the portrait of him sitting on Malcolm's lap]
Grandsanta
Do you know, Arthur, there is a way.
Arthur
It's impossible.
Grandsanta
They used to say it was impossible to teach women to read. Follow me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Children's privilege in gift unwrapping
Bryony
Only children get to tear the wrapping!
[bravely faces the man-eating lions after they try to tear Gwen's gift]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Impact of Efficiency on Tradition
Steve
2 billion gifts delivered, and we didn't leave a footprint in the snow. And now...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Grandsanta's Enthusiasm for the World Map
Grandsanta
Biggest map in the world!
[using the Earth itself as a map after losing all the other ones]
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Miscommunication Among Christmas Characters
Grandsanta
Tell him I'm not here!
[referring to Steve]
Bryony
Grandsanta says he's not here.
Steve
Hi, I'm looking for a missing relic.
Grandsanta
Steve, 3 words.
Steve
Is the first one "help"?
Arthur
Yes. You can help us, Steve!
Grandsanta
It was him! ], he forced me to come! Elf, back me up if you want a career.
[[Frosty the Snowman (TV special)|Frosty the Madman; to Bryony]
Arthur
I forced you?
Grandsanta
Ya see?! Look!
Steve
What did you want, Grandsanta? Let me guess. Hmm, a picture of you in the sleigh delivering the gift to show me how it's really done?
Grandsanta
No.
[puts away camera]
Steve
You know the picture they'll have tomorrow? You lead away in handcuffs! The Santa who was seen by everybody on Earth. The Santa who ruined Christmas.
Peter
Ruined it!
[tauntingly]
Grandsanta
We'll fix this, Steve. We'll be back home in a wobble of a reindeer's buttocks. A-And Evie can go back in mothballs. You can forget she ever existed.
Arthur
You can't just go home! What about Gwen?!
[pulls away the reins]
Steve
Gwen? For that you'd threaten my whole operation?
Arthur
Steve, you said if there was any way to get there, you would. Well, this is it! Look, the old sleigh's perfect! Oh, right. Well, anyway, it goes really fast, even with bits missing, and we've got quite a few reindeer left. And if I'm sick again, I can be sick in a bag.
[a piece broke off of Evie]
Bryony
I'll wrap him one!
Elf 1
We can help them, sir!
Elf 2
No one missed, sir!
Elf 3
All correct presents, present and correct, sir!
Arthur
If you'd help us, Steve, we can do it.
Elf 4
Grandsanta and Arthur would be the heroes of the night, sir!
[Peter drops the drink in shock]
Steve
Come home now! If we all just gave in to Christmas spirit, there'd be chaos.
[quickly]
Grandsanta
We're on our way, Steve!
[pulls the reins toward him]
Arthur
NO! Santa would want us to get to Gwen. Ask him! Please!
[pulls the reins away again]
Steve
Arthur, this is Dad we're talking about. There was a time when he cared about every last gift tag, but now he just wants to be loved and get some rest.
Arthur
No! He's-He's lying awake, worrying his beard off about Gwen.
Santa
Ho-ho-ho! Off to the land of nod. Please do not disturb until December 26. Is that it, dear?
[in the voicemail]
Margaret
Yes, Malcolm. Press the red...
[in the voicemail; the voicemail ends]
Arthur
No. Santa's the most caring man in the world!
[after learning Santa has gone to bed without caring about Gwen]
Bryony
Then why are you here, not him?
Grandsanta
Don't leave me, Arthur! Poor old man and his reindeer on our own at Christmas? At least have the decency to finish us off with a rock!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflicting Views on Santa's Qualities
Steve
Okay, so I'm not great with children. Does that make me a bad Santa? You're hardly perfect. Let me guess: You put in the address, saw a list of Trelews and clicked on the first one? You're just like Arthur!
[enters the S-1]
Santa
Am I?
[stunned]
Computer
North Pole incoming.
Elf 1
Sir the soldiers have shot the sleigh!
[Margaret gasps]
Elf 2
But sir, it's Arthur! He's still going!
Santa
Arthur?
[amazed]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Planning a Santa Operation in Germany
Steve
This is Germany, Father. They drive on the right. National dish, sausage. Okay, let's show them, people. Operation: Santa Claus is Coming to Town!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Christmas Surprises
Arthur
Please! Gwen just has to have a present from Santa.
Santa
You do it, Arthur.
[hands Arthur the present]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Christmas Eve Confrontation with Aliens
Santa
Dear Arthur, what a puzzle.
Ernie
Look, everyone, it's Arthur! He's delivering the present!
Chief de Silva
Friends, on this night of peace, we stand confronted by an unknown danger: ]. Aliens from space.
[[Escape From Planet Earth|aliens]
Peter
You know, I've always liked Arthur. Ya think he likes espresso?
[after learning about Arthur being the new Santa]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings in a Christmas Operation
Steve
Good morning, Gwen. Ho, et cetera. Apologies for the minor delay. I'm sure that even a child can understand that in an operation as complex as Christmas, there's always an ] margin of error. Which is you! As a gesture, I've upgraded you to the GlamourFast Ultra X3, which retails at $9.99, more than your requested gift. Bigger, ergo better. If you wouldn't mind just signing a legal waiver? No lo entiendo, Señor. Soy Pedro.] P-Pedro? A boy? A Spanish boy?!
[at the house in Trelew, Mexico; the same one where Grand-Santa, Arthur and Bryony accidentally went previously; [Antz|insignificant; '''Pedro''': [confused; '''Pedro''': Quién es usted?]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Grandsanta Reflects on Arthur's Worthiness
Grandsanta
Well, this is it, old fella! Maybe the next Santa never sat in my EVIE, but Arthur did, and he's as good a man as any Santa there's ever been! Goodbye, Evie.
[as he prepares to abandon Evie he speaks to his old reindeer; jumps off at the last second as missiles destroy the sleigh]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Wishing for White Christmases Every Year
North Pole Computer
And May 100% of your Christmases be white!
[before the closing credits roll]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Commitment to Presents and Holiday Traditions
Bryony
No one gets an unwrapped present on my watch!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Arthur's Surprise Delivery at the North Pole
Ernie Clicker
What the…? Look, everyone! It's Arthur! He's delivering the present!
[turns around and spots Arthur cycling through Trelew on Gwen's bike]
Elves
It's Arthur!
North Pole Computer
MELTDOWN PAUSED.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Revelations in Holiday Preparations
Steve
The old sleigh? What is happening here?! It was supposed to be chopped up for firewood decades ago. How on earth did that devious...?
[watches the footage of Grandsanta and Arthur departing the North Pole aboard Evie]
Peter
Old people, sir. Shall I get you your stress ball?
[interrupts Steve]
Steve
We have a finer comms array than the Pentagon, and you're saying we can't contact them unless by some crazy, ancient...
[interrupted once again]
Ernie
Toodle-ooh! Here comes the cavalry!
[offscreen; An elderly elf, probably as old as Grandsanta comes hobbling down the Communications Center pushing a Signalator device]
Peter
Ernie Clicker, sir.
Ernie
Head of Polar Communications for 46 missions. Oh crikey-blikey! Me and your granddad saw some times. I remember once...
Steve
Wow, must catch up soon. Now.
[interrupts Ernie and puts him in the chair]
Ernie
Oh, you're in a hurry. I can tell.
Steve
Oh, this is ridiculous. Could we hurry this?
Ernie
Oh, you can't rush the Signalator. Gotta play gentle. So, what do you wish to say? I wouldn't worry. It's not like they're surrounded by man-eating lions.
[unhurriedly tries to communicate with Grandsanta and Arthur]
Arthur
Silent night / Holy night / All is calm... Aah! All is bright / I realize this is mental / But it's all that I know / It's Christmas, nice kitties / So please let us go
[desperately serenading the lions by waving his musical slippers and singing "Silent Night" with different lyrics; one lion roars at Arthur]
Bryony and Grandsanta
Sleep in heavenly peace / Sleep in heavenly peace.
[shrug and join Arthur]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of a Bow
Bryony
There's always time for a bow!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning the Destruction of an Object
Bryony
Can I burn this?
[picks up Gwen's letter]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of the Present Moment
Arthur
It doesn't matter how we got here. The sleigh on the roof, the-the jingle bells, the 8 reindeer. Gwen would've never seen that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mooing Risk Assessment Report
North Pole Computer
Risk of mooing: 98%.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Steve's Frustration at the North Pole
Steve
How many times, Arthur? It's the North Pole. Shut the doors!
[turns around and walks away]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Belief in Santa Claus Endures
Grandsanta
In Santa we believe!
[as Arthur parachutes away]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Listening and Connection
Arthur
Dad, wait! Please, let's...
[gestures to the door]
Santa
Oh. In all my years, I've never actually... Always so busy. Too busy. I'm not good at... In my day, a pat on the back and a walnut went a long way.
[joins Arthur; Steve comes up beside them; pats his sons on the back, they both look at him]
Gwen
Come on! It's downstairs! I think it's under the tree. I can see pink. It's a BIKE! Santa brought me the bike I wanted! Can I have a go? Please, please, please?
[she runs down the stairs; her parents follow, she tears the wrapping; Santa, Grandsanta, Steve and Arthur watch as Gwen opens her present]
Santa
Steve, you deserve to be Santa. But Steve, I wonder... if Gwen is right.
[Steve gasps and looks at the Santa figure Arthur earlier gave him; looks at Arthur]
Gwen
Careful, I'm gonna bump into you!
[as she rides her bike]
Steve
I'll be the candle, eh?
[considers for a moment then holds out the figure to Arthur; Arthur gasps as he realizes the implications]
Grandsanta
Whoppee!
[quietly]
Santa
You're better men than... Both of you.
[sniffles]
Gwen
A bike and... a squirrel?! Oh!
[the squirrel runs away]
Bryony
Drop complete! And we have a new Santa!
[the number of children without a gift changes from 1 to 0; pans the HOHO to show Arthur climbing out the window. Everyone cheers.]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call for Leadership
Grandsanta
Take us to your leader!
[after making the sleigh look like a UFO]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebrating Christmas with Joyful Wishes
Arthur
Happy Christmas, cows!
[cycling through Trelew, to some cows in a field]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Child Has Been Overlooked
Arthur
A child's been missed!
[repeated line]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Urgent Plan to Deliver Presents
Grandsanta
We've got to get you down there, lad!
Arthur
They'll see us! We'll be stopped!
Grandsanta
Give me that!
[takes Arthur's slipper]
Arthur
What are you doing?
Grandsanta
It's Evie they're after. She doesn't fit this world, Arthur. She's a relic.
Arthur
Evie?!
[surprised]
Grandsanta
I always knew she'd be needed one more time. You go on! We'll let them have her.
Bryony
You're coming too?
Grandsanta
You were right, Arthur. It doesn't matter how Santa's gift gets there. Doesn't even matter if it's Mr. Postman in his spaceship.
[referring to Steve and the S-1]
Arthur
As long as it gets there.
[smiles with confidence]
Grandsanta
You made it happen, lad. No one got left out. Get off! Now, do as I say.
[Arthur hugs him, laughing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debating the Fate of Christmas
Scottish Elf
It's like 1816!
Elf
Abandon the North Pole!
North Pole Computer
Are you sure you want to delete Christmas?
[the elf hits "yes" and a 10-minute countdown starts to meltdown]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critical Systems for Christmas Operations
North Pole Computer
Systems critical. Lead in Christmas.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.