Arthur Christmas (2011) - Quotes

Scottish Elf: It's like 1816!

Elf: Abandon the North Pole!

North Pole Computer: [the elf hits "yes" and a 10-minute countdown starts to meltdown] Are you sure you want to delete Christmas?

Grandsanta: Poor Evie. Sun'll be up soon. It's Christmas!

Arthur: Christmas is for kids. You grow out of it.

Bryony: What, in the last 6 minutes?

Arthur: [scoffs; as an elf; as Santa; in his normal voice; lies down] I know what you all say about me, you know. "He belongs in the South Pole." "Dear Arthur, what a puzzle." Well, you were right. All that fuss over one kid, I was being ridiculous. This is nice. It's good to get away from it all, you know? All the Christmas fuss.

Grandsanta: [gets up and sits next to Arthur; Arthur looks away] I'm sorry I messed things up, lad. You see, the night I last took Evie out, when there was all that...fuss, your father came to me. I'll never forget it. Couldn't look me in the eye. "Dad", he says. "Steve thinks it’s best you don't fly again. We're scrapping the sleigh." Me own son...who used to sit where you sat looking up at me. I just wanted them to remember who I used to be. I was a bit like you, lad. Keen as cranberry. So was your dad. You get old, that's all. Everything...changes.

Arthur: [gets up quickly and grabs Gwen's letter; throws the letter down, then takes off his last slipper and throws it into the sea] Does it? How can I ever write another letter saying that Santa cares? Good night, Dad. Sleep well.

Steve: [watches the footage of Grandsanta and Arthur departing the North Pole aboard Evie] The old sleigh? What is happening here?! It was supposed to be chopped up for firewood decades ago. How on earth did that devious...?

Peter: [interrupts Steve] Old people, sir. Shall I get you your stress ball?

Steve: [interrupted once again] We have a finer comms array than the Pentagon, and you're saying we can't contact them unless by some crazy, ancient...

Ernie: [offscreen; An elderly elf, probably as old as Grandsanta comes hobbling down the Communications Center pushing a Signalator device] Toodle-ooh! Here comes the cavalry!

Peter: Ernie Clicker, sir.

Ernie: Head of Polar Communications for 46 missions. Oh crikey-blikey! Me and your granddad saw some times. I remember once...

Steve: [interrupts Ernie and puts him in the chair] Wow, must catch up soon. Now.

Ernie: Oh, you're in a hurry. I can tell.

Steve: Oh, this is ridiculous. Could we hurry this?

Ernie: [unhurriedly tries to communicate with Grandsanta and Arthur] Oh, you can't rush the Signalator. Gotta play gentle. So, what do you wish to say? I wouldn't worry. It's not like they're surrounded by man-eating lions.

Arthur: [desperately serenading the lions by waving his musical slippers and singing "Silent Night" with different lyrics; one lion roars at Arthur] Silent night / Holy night / All is calm... Aah! All is bright / I realize this is mental / But it's all that I know / It's Christmas, nice kitties / So please let us go

Bryony and Grandsanta: [shrug and join Arthur] Sleep in heavenly peace / Sleep in heavenly peace.

Arthur: [gestures to the door] Dad, wait! Please, let's...

Santa: [joins Arthur; Steve comes up beside them; pats his sons on the back, they both look at him] Oh. In all my years, I've never actually... Always so busy. Too busy. I'm not good at... In my day, a pat on the back and a walnut went a long way.

Gwen: [she runs down the stairs; her parents follow, she tears the wrapping; Santa, Grandsanta, Steve and Arthur watch as Gwen opens her present] Come on! It's downstairs! I think it's under the tree. I can see pink. It's a BIKE! Santa brought me the bike I wanted! Can I have a go? Please, please, please?

Santa: [Steve gasps and looks at the Santa figure Arthur earlier gave him; looks at Arthur] Steve, you deserve to be Santa. But Steve, I wonder... if Gwen is right.

Gwen: [as she rides her bike] Careful, I'm gonna bump into you!

Steve: [considers for a moment then holds out the figure to Arthur; Arthur gasps as he realizes the implications] I'll be the candle, eh?

Grandsanta: [quietly] Whoppee!

Santa: [sniffles] You're better men than... Both of you.

Gwen: [the squirrel runs away] A bike and... a squirrel?! Oh!

Bryony: [the number of children without a gift changes from 1 to 0; pans the HOHO to show Arthur climbing out the window. Everyone cheers.] Drop complete! And we have a new Santa!

Steve: [enters the S-1] Okay, so I'm not great with children. Does that make me a bad Santa? You're hardly perfect. Let me guess: You put in the address, saw a list of Trelews and clicked on the first one? You're just like Arthur!

Santa: [stunned] Am I?

Computer: North Pole incoming.

Elf 1: [Margaret gasps] Sir the soldiers have shot the sleigh!

Elf 2: But sir, it's Arthur! He's still going!

Santa: [amazed] Arthur?

Ernie Clicker: [turns around and spots Arthur cycling through Trelew on Gwen's bike] What the…? Look, everyone! It's Arthur! He's delivering the present!

Elves: It's Arthur!

North Pole Computer: MELTDOWN PAUSED.

Arthur: [accidentally knocks over a snow globe] It just can't be. It can't. It just can't be. It j-just CAN'T BE! Oh...

Grandsanta: [having overheard the commotion] What's all this kadoodle, young man?

Arthur: Grandsanta, it's this little girl, she's been missed!

Grandsanta: HA! So much for your brother's fancy-pants technology!

Arthur: Steve and Dad racked their brains but said it's impossible.

Grandsanta: Is it now? Missed a child? Dear, oh dear. Sends shivers down me shins.

Arthur: [frowns sadly; straightens the portrait of him sitting on Malcolm's lap] In two hours, she's gonna wake up, tear downstairs, search under the tree, and... that look on her face. But there's nothing there. She won't understand. She'll think she's the one kid on the whole world that Santa doesn't care about. She'll feel so... left out. On Christmas night, he comes. Gwen can't not have a present from Santa!

Grandsanta: Do you know, Arthur, there is a way.

Arthur: It's impossible.

Grandsanta: They used to say it was impossible to teach women to read. Follow me.

Arthur: Please! Gwen just has to have a present from Santa.

Santa: [hands Arthur the present] You do it, Arthur.

Grandsanta: [referring to Steve] Tell him I'm not here!

Bryony: Grandsanta says he's not here.

Steve: Hi, I'm looking for a missing relic.

Grandsanta: Steve, 3 words.

Steve: Is the first one "help"?

Arthur: Yes. You can help us, Steve!

Grandsanta: [[Frosty the Snowman (TV special)|Frosty the Madman; to Bryony] It was him! ], he forced me to come! Elf, back me up if you want a career.

Arthur: I forced you?

Grandsanta: Ya see?! Look!

Steve: What did you want, Grandsanta? Let me guess. Hmm, a picture of you in the sleigh delivering the gift to show me how it's really done?

Grandsanta: [puts away camera] No.

Steve: You know the picture they'll have tomorrow? You lead away in handcuffs! The Santa who was seen by everybody on Earth. The Santa who ruined Christmas.

Peter: [tauntingly] Ruined it!

Grandsanta: We'll fix this, Steve. We'll be back home in a wobble of a reindeer's buttocks. A-And Evie can go back in mothballs. You can forget she ever existed.

Arthur: [pulls away the reins] You can't just go home! What about Gwen?!

Steve: Gwen? For that you'd threaten my whole operation?

Arthur: [a piece broke off of Evie] Steve, you said if there was any way to get there, you would. Well, this is it! Look, the old sleigh's perfect! Oh, right. Well, anyway, it goes really fast, even with bits missing, and we've got quite a few reindeer left. And if I'm sick again, I can be sick in a bag.

Bryony: I'll wrap him one!

Elf 1: We can help them, sir!

Elf 2: No one missed, sir!

Elf 3: All correct presents, present and correct, sir!

Arthur: If you'd help us, Steve, we can do it.

Elf 4: [Peter drops the drink in shock] Grandsanta and Arthur would be the heroes of the night, sir!

Steve: [quickly] Come home now! If we all just gave in to Christmas spirit, there'd be chaos.

Grandsanta: [pulls the reins toward him] We're on our way, Steve!

Arthur: [pulls the reins away again] NO! Santa would want us to get to Gwen. Ask him! Please!

Steve: Arthur, this is Dad we're talking about. There was a time when he cared about every last gift tag, but now he just wants to be loved and get some rest.

Arthur: No! He's-He's lying awake, worrying his beard off about Gwen.

Santa: [in the voicemail] Ho-ho-ho! Off to the land of nod. Please do not disturb until December 26. Is that it, dear?

Margaret: [in the voicemail; the voicemail ends] Yes, Malcolm. Press the red...

Arthur: [after learning Santa has gone to bed without caring about Gwen] No. Santa's the most caring man in the world!

Bryony: Then why are you here, not him?

Grandsanta: Don't leave me, Arthur! Poor old man and his reindeer on our own at Christmas? At least have the decency to finish us off with a rock!

Grandsanta: We've got to get you down there, lad!

Arthur: They'll see us! We'll be stopped!

Grandsanta: [takes Arthur's slipper] Give me that!

Arthur: What are you doing?

Grandsanta: It's Evie they're after. She doesn't fit this world, Arthur. She's a relic.

Arthur: [surprised] Evie?!

Grandsanta: I always knew she'd be needed one more time. You go on! We'll let them have her.

Bryony: You're coming too?

Grandsanta: [referring to Steve and the S-1] You were right, Arthur. It doesn't matter how Santa's gift gets there. Doesn't even matter if it's Mr. Postman in his spaceship.

Arthur: [smiles with confidence] As long as it gets there.

Grandsanta: [Arthur hugs him, laughing] You made it happen, lad. No one got left out. Get off! Now, do as I say.

Santa: Dear Arthur, what a puzzle.

Ernie: Look, everyone, it's Arthur! He's delivering the present!

Chief de Silva: [[Escape From Planet Earth|aliens] Friends, on this night of peace, we stand confronted by an unknown danger: ]. Aliens from space.

Peter: [after learning about Arthur being the new Santa] You know, I've always liked Arthur. Ya think he likes espresso?

North Pole Computer: [before the closing credits roll] And May 100% of your Christmases be white!

North Pole Computer: Christmas accomplished. Commence decking halls.

North Pole Computer: Systems critical. Lead in Christmas.

North Pole Computer: Risk of mooing: 98%.

Steve: [at the house in Trelew, Mexico; the same one where Grand-Santa, Arthur and Bryony accidentally went previously; [Antz|insignificant; '''Pedro''': [confused; '''Pedro''': Quién es usted?] Good morning, Gwen. Ho, et cetera. Apologies for the minor delay. I'm sure that even a child can understand that in an operation as complex as Christmas, there's always an ] margin of error. Which is you! As a gesture, I've upgraded you to the GlamourFast Ultra X3, which retails at $9.99, more than your requested gift. Bigger, ergo better. If you wouldn't mind just signing a legal waiver? No lo entiendo, Señor. Soy Pedro.] P-Pedro? A boy? A Spanish boy?!

Steve: 2 billion gifts delivered, and we didn't leave a footprint in the snow. And now...

Steve: [turns around and walks away] How many times, Arthur? It's the North Pole. Shut the doors!

Steve: This is Germany, Father. They drive on the right. National dish, sausage. Okay, let's show them, people. Operation: Santa Claus is Coming to Town!

Bryony: [picks up Gwen's letter] Can I burn this?

Bryony: There's always time for a bow!

Bryony: [bravely faces the man-eating lions after they try to tear Gwen's gift] Only children get to tear the wrapping!

Bryony: No one gets an unwrapped present on my watch!

Grandsanta: [as he prepares to abandon Evie he speaks to his old reindeer; jumps off at the last second as missiles destroy the sleigh] Well, this is it, old fella! Maybe the next Santa never sat in my EVIE, but Arthur did, and he's as good a man as any Santa there's ever been! Goodbye, Evie.

Grandsanta: [as Arthur parachutes away] In Santa we believe!

Grandsanta: [after making the sleigh look like a UFO] Take us to your leader!

Grandsanta: [using the Earth itself as a map after losing all the other ones] Biggest map in the world!

Arthur: It doesn't matter how we got here. The sleigh on the roof, the-the jingle bells, the 8 reindeer. Gwen would've never seen that.

Arthur: [repeated line] A child's been missed!

Arthur: [struggling to row the boat way across the Atlantic Ocean to Trelew, grunting and singing] Jingle bells / This boat smells / 3,000 miles to go

Arthur: [cycling through Trelew, to some cows in a field] Happy Christmas, cows!