21 quotes
Inquiry About an Unfamiliar Object
Joe Lilac
What is this?
[as the professors draw guns on Joe and his men]
Professor Oddly
I believe... I think it is known as an "up-stick.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finding Solutions in Unlikely Places
Joe Lilac
Having some trouble, Mr. D.A.?
District Attorney
Oh, don't worry, Joe. And don't underestimate this office or the State of New York. I've got some boys that can find a needle in a haystack.
Joe Lilac
Oh, that's a cinch. All you have to do is get a horse to eat the hay and then x-ray the horse.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Learning Slang in Unexpected Love
Taglines
Riotous but tender comedy of a professor so anxious to learn the slang pf a hep-cat queen that she puts his heart in a sling!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Counting the Members of the Project Team
Sugarpuss O'Shea
Hey, how many of you are on this job?
[mistaking Bertram for a police dick come to take her downtown]
Professor Potts
Uh, the entire project? Eight.
Sugarpuss O'Shea
Oh. The other seven waiting outside?
Professor Potts
Oh, no. They're at home sound asleep, I imagine.
Sugarpuss O'Shea
Asleep?
Professor Potts
Yes, they go to bed at nine every night.
Sugarpuss O'Shea
You mean to tell me with crime what it is in New Yor... Say, are you a bull or aren't you?
Professor Potts
Well, if "bull" is a slang word for professor, then I'm a bull.
Sugarpuss O'Shea
A professor?
Professor Potts
Of English.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring the Meaning of Yum-Yum
Professor Potts
What're you gonna do?
Sugarpuss O'Shea
I'm going to show you what yum-yum is. Here's yum. Here's the other yum. And here's yum-yum.
[kisses him; kisses him again; gives a long kiss that knocks him backwards onto a chair]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion of a Young Lady's Charisma
Professor Potts
Young man, what is the name of that young lady?
Waiter
Sugarpuss O'Shea.
Professor Potts
An astounding specimen.
Waiter
She jives by night. Root, zoot and cute and solid to boot.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Scholar's Encounter with Jive Culture
Taglines
The riotous but tender comedy of a slang-hunter professor, baffled by the words, but a sucker for the wiles of a hot-spot Queen of Jive who used his study as a hide-out!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question About Decor in Ball of Fire
Sugarpuss O'Shea
Say, who decorated this place? The mug that shot ]?
[about the professors' workroom; [Lincoln]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Encyclopedia Writers and Their Unseen Knowledge
Taglines
Once upon a time—in 1941 to be exact—there lived in a great, tall forest—called New York--eight men who were writing an encyclopedia. They were so wise they knew everything. The depth of the oceans, and what makes a glowworm glow, and what tune Nero fiddled while Rome was burning. But there was one thing about which they knew very little--as you shall see...
[After the opening credits]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Love and Kissing in Ball of Fire
Taglines
I LOVE HIM because he doesn't know how to kiss -- THE JERK!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acknowledging Mistakes in a Tactful Discussion
Professor Potts
Before we attempt to get back to work, I'd like to say a few words. You've been very kind and very tactful. If I may say so, over-tactful. The entire ride home in the car you avoided a certain subject to make empty conversation. Now let's have it out. I made an ass of myself and I know it.
Professor Jerome
Oh, well, we all have, Potts.
Professor Potts
Yes, but I was the lead donkey.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Complex Farewell to a Brilliant Mind
Professor Bertram Potts
I shall regret the absence of your keen mind. Unfortunately, it is inseparable from an extremely disturbing body.
[to Sugarpuss]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Quirky Love for an Unconventional Partner
Sugarpuss O'Shea
Yes, I love him. I love those hick shirts he wears with the boiled cuffs and the way he always has his vest buttoned wrong. Looks like a giraffe, and I love him. I love him because he's the kind of a guy that gets drunk on a glass of buttermilk, and I love the way he blushes right up over his ears. Love him because he doesn't know how to kiss, the jerk!
[about Potts]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Professor's Request for Affection
Professor Bertram Potts
Sugarpuss, uh, before you go, would you... would you, eh, yum me just once more?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Complexity of Relationships and Desire
Miss Bragg
That is the kind of woman that makes whole civilizations topple!
Professor Gurkakoff
The subconscious never makes a mistake. She gave you the ring she didn't want - his ring - and she kept the one she wanted - yours.
[discovering Sugarpuss gave back the wrong ring]
Professor Magenbruch
Maybe my data on sex is a little outdated, too.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Observation and Knowledge from Simple Experiences
Sugarpuss O'Shea
Who is that guy who learned so much from watching an apple drop?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
In the Home Stretch of Our Work
Professor Bertram Potts
We're working under pressure. After nine years of effort, we are, as the race track enthusiast might say, in the home stretch. Three more years and our encyclopedia will be finished. Let's not bog down in the middle of the letter S.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
On Dependence and Honesty in Relationships
Joe Lilac
You know, I was kinda counting on Sugarpuss to tell ya the score. Trouble is, she's all right givin out with the twists and the wisecracks, but when it comes to leveling off she gets chicken.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
An Invitation to Begin the Evening
Sugarpuss O'Shea
You, uh, you don't think we could sort of begin the beguine right now?
Professor Potts
Well, it's, uh, nearly one o'clock, Miss O'Shea.
Sugarpuss O'Shea
Oh, foo, professor. And let's get ourselves a couple drinks, light the fire maybe, and you can start working on me right away.
Professor Potts
Well, I wouldn't think of imposing on you at this hour.
Sugarpuss O'Shea
Listen, I figured on working all night.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A New Year's Comedy Adventure Awaits
Taglines
The New Year's red-hot comedy!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Futility of Academic Endeavors
Professor Potts
I've just finished my article on slang. Twenty-three pages compiled from a dozen reference books. Eight hundred examples. Everything from the idiotic combination "absotively" to the pejorative use of "zigzag." I traced the evolution of "hunky dory," tracked down "skiddo" from "skedaddle." Eight hundred examples and I may as well throw it in the waste basket. Three weeks work.
Professor Robinson
Potts, you're hysterical.
Professor Potts
Outmoded. Based on reference books 20 years old. Take "smooch." Take "dish." Take...
Professor Oddly
Hoytoytoy?
Professor Potts
Hoytoytoy. Not one of them included. Living in this house cut off from the world, I've lost touch. And it's inexcusable! That man talked a living language. I embalmed some dead phrases.
Professor Gurkakoff
But where are you going?
Professor Potts
Out to collect new data, to tap the sources of slang, the major sources. The streets. The slums. The theatrical and allied professions.
Professor Robinson
Oh, now, Potts, don't you think that...
Professor Potts
I know it's regrettable, this loss of time, gentlemen, but it must be done. Leave the key under the mat. I won't be home before 9 o'clock.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.