31 quotes
The Impact of the Box on Minds
Edward Nygma/The Riddler
This is your brain on the Box. This is my brain on the Box!
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This%20Is%20Your%20Brain%20on%20Drugs DOES ANYBODY ELSE FEEL LIKE A FRIED EGG?!]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Flattery Amidst a Superhero Encounter
Batman
I read your work. Insightful. Naive, but insightful.
Dr. Chase Meridian
I'm flattered. Not every girl makes a superhero's night table.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Start of the Real Game
Edward Nygma/The Riddler
Now...the real game begins!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Caffeine and Chaos in the Workplace
Edward Nygma
Okay Now I've got it! Ha! "Too many questions. There's too many questions. Too many..." I'll show you it works!
Fred Stickley
What the hell is going on here?! I told you this project is terminated! I'm calling security!
Edward Nygma
Caffeine will KILL YA!
[knocks Stickley unconscious with a coffee pot]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fortune Smiles: A Humorous Perspective
Harvey Dent/Two-Face
Ah, fortune smiles. Another day of wine and roses, or in your case, beer and pizza!
[After flipping his coin to decide whether to kill someone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gotham's New Tech Craze Sparks Controversy
Newscaster
In local news, Edward Nygma's 3D Box has become the rage of Gotham. Rioting occurred last night at electronic stores which were sold out. There is hardly a home without the NygmaTech Box. Critics have claimed the Box turns Gothamites into zombies, but Edward Ngyma just shrugs: "That's what they said when TV was invented.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Dangers of Caffeine
Edward Nygma/The Riddler
Caffeine'll KILL YA!
[after knocking out Stickley with a kettle]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration with Batman's Persistence
Harvey Dent/Two-Face
The Bat's stubborn refusal to expire...IS DRIVING US INSANE!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration in the Face of Adversity
Harvey Dent/Two-Face
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE?!
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Secrets Behind a Locked Door
Alfred Pennyworth
May I help you, Master Grayson?
Dick Grayson
How come this is the only locked door in this museum? What've you got back here?
Alfred Pennyworth
Master Wayne's dead wives. The silver closet. On your way.
[Dick gives him a look]
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A Lighthearted Exchange Between Batman and Alfred
Alfred Pennyworth
Can I persuade you to take a sandwich with you, sir?
Batman
I'll get drive-thru.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Impact of Trauma on Morality
Commissioner Gordon
Can we reason with him? He's holding innocent people hostage up there.
[about Two-Face]
Dr. Chase Meridian
It won't do any good. He'll slaughter them without thinking twice.
Batman
Agreed. A trauma powerful enough to create an alternate personality leaves the victim...
Meridian
...in a world where normal rules of right and wrong no longer apply.
[interrupting]
Batman
Exactly.
Dr. Meridian
Like you. Well, let's just say that I could write a hell of a paper on a grown man who dresses like a flying rodent.
[off his look]
Batman
Bats aren't rodents, Dr. Meridian.
Dr. Meridian
Really? I did not know that. You are interesting...and call me Chase'. By the way, do you have a first name, or do we just call you "Bats"?
[more intrigued; Batman looks back up to the bank, Meridian does the same. As she looks up, Batman then walks away; turns and sees Batman is no longer there]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Gamble Between Life and Death
Two-Face
You're counting on the winged avenger to deliver you from evil, aren't you, my friend?
Bank Guard
Are you gonna kill me?
Two-Face
Maybe, maybe not. You could say we're of two minds on the subject. Are you a gambling man? What say we flip for it?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploiting Two-Face's Weakness
Batman
Commissioner Gordon?
Dr. Chase Meridian
He's at home. I sent the signal.
[appears]
Batman
What's wrong?
Dr. Chase Meridian
Last night at the bank I noticed something about Two-Face. His coin: it's his Achilles heel. It can be exploited.
Batman
I know. You called me here for this? The Bat-Signal is not a beeper.
Dr. Chase Meridian
Well I wish I could say that my interest in you was...purely professional.
Batman
You trying to get under my cape, doctor?
Dr. Chase Meridian
A girl can't live by psychoses alone.
Batman
It's the car, right? Chicks love the car.
Dr. Chase Meridian
What is it about the wrong kind of man? In grade school it was boys with earrings. College; motorcycles, leather jackets. Now... Black...rubber.
[feels his suit, gasps]
Batman
Try firemen, less to take off.
[tries to leave]
Dr. Chase Meridian
I don't mind the work. Pity I can't see behind the mask.
[blocking his way; putting her hands on Batman's cowl]
Batman
We all wear masks.
[taking her hands away]
Dr. Chase Meridian
My life's an open book. You read?
Batman
I don't blend in at a family picnic.
Dr. Chase Meridian
Oh, we could give it a try. I'll bring the wine... you bring your scarred psyche.
[opens her coat to reveal a negligee]
Batman
Direct, don't you?
Dr. Chase Meridian
You like strong women. I've done my homework. Or do I need ]?
[[w:Catwoman|skin-tight vinyl and a whip]
Batman
I haven't had that much luck with women.
Dr. Chase Meridian
Maybe you just haven't met the right woman.
Commissioner Gordon
I saw the signal, what's going on?
Batman
Nothing. False alarm.
Dr. Chase Meridian
Are you sure?
Batman
Women.
[sighs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Moment of Recognition and Excitement
Fred Stickley
Mr. Wayne.
Bruce Wayne
Hello, Fred.
Fred Stickley
Your inspections are a departmental highlight.
Edward Nygma
Oh, my God, it's him. I am a winner. I am a winner. I am a winner. I am a winner.
[CACKLING]
Fred Stickley
Bioremediation. Alternative fuel. Mr. Wayne, look at that time. Perhaps we should get to R&D as soon as possible.
Bruce Wayne
Mister...
Edward Nygma
Ohhh... Bruce Wayne.
Bruce Wayne
No, that's my name. And you are?
Edward Nygma
Nygma. Edward. Edward Nygma. You hired me personally. Just like I tell everyone. We've never actually met, but your name was on the hiring slip. I have it.
Bruce Wayne
I'm gonna need that hand back, Ed.
Edward Nygma
Oh. Yes, of course. I'm sorry. It's just that... you're my idol.
Fred Stickley
Back to work, Edward.
Edward Nygma
And some people have been trying to keep us apart.
Fred Stickley
Back to work, Edward.
Bruce Wayne
It's okay. So, Mr. Nygma, what's on your mind?
Edward Nygma
Precisely! What's on all our minds? Brainwaves! The future of Wayne Enterprises... is brainwaves.
[chuckles; rummages through his machinery]
Fred Stickley
I'm gonna have to apologize, Mr. Wayne. I personally terminated his project this morning!
[covertly]
Bruce Wayne
It's okay.
Edward Nygma
I have it! Voilà! Huh? My invention beams any TV signal directly into the human brain. By stimulating neurons - manipulating brainwaves, if you will - this device makes the audience feel like they're inside the show! Why be brutalized by an uncaring world?
[holds his prototype "Box" over his head melodramatically]
Bruce Wayne
Did you say "manipulating brainwaves"?
[skeptical]
Edward Nygma
Well, uh... yes.
Bruce Wayne
Hmm.
Edward Nygma
But... someone like you would never need it. Someone so... intelligent, witty and charming.
Edward Nygma
I just need a bit of additional funding for human trials! Let me show you, please!
Bruce Wayne
Now, listen, Ed - I want a full set of technical schematics on this, okay?
Edward Nygma
I want you to know we'll be full partners in this, Bruce! Look at us! Two of a kind!
[eagerly]
Bruce Wayne
You call my assistant Margaret, she'll set something up--
[trying to leave]
Edward Nygma
Ahhh... that's not gonna be good for me. I need an answer now. I think I deserve it.
[holding him back forcibly]
Bruce Wayne
I'm sorry, Ed, then the answer is no. Tampering with people's brainwaves, mind manipulation... it just raises too many questions. Sorry. Thanks, everybody, keep up the good work. Factory looks great.
[to his staff while leaving]
Fred Stickley
All right, everyone! Back to work! We'll discuss this later!
[claps, following Bruce out; to Nygma, sharply]
Edward Nygma
You were supposed to understand. I'll make you understand.
[quietly and sadly; in a darker, more angry tone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Riddler's Countdown to Chaos
Edward Nygma/The Riddler
Somebody tell the fat lady she's on in five!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Personal Declaration of Justice
Dick Grayson/Robin
That was for my mother! My father! My brother! And this is for me!
[kicks Two-Face; hits Two-Face again; punches Two-Face; headbutts Two-Face]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Showmanship in Performance
Edward Nygma/The Riddler
Your entrance was good; his was better. The difference? Showmanship!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Hope and Healing for Robin's Future
Alfred Pennyworth
Broken wings mend in time. One day, Robin will fly again.
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Nygma's Experiment with Stickley Begins
Edward Nygma
Rise and shine, little guinea pig.
Fred Stickley
What are you doing, Nygma? Untie me!
Edward Nygma
This won't hurt. At least, I don't think it will.
Fred Stickley
What are you doing? Nygma, you touch that switch and...
Edward Nygma
Which one? this? Losing resolution. More power! "EDWARD NYGMA, COME ON DOWN! YOU'RE THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON BRAIN DRAIN!" Um, gee, ooh, uh, I'll take what's inside Thick Skull Number One! "What have we got for him, Johnny?" Stickley, I'm having a breakthrough! And a breakdown? MAYBE! Nevertheless, I'm smarter. I'm a genius! No, several geniuses! A gaggle! A swarm! A flock of freakin Freuds! Riddle me this, Fred! What is everything to someone, and nothing to everyone else? Your mind, baby! And now mines comes with the power of yours! ]"] I'm sucking up your IQ, vacuuming your cortex, feeding off your brain! FRED! What a rush!
[demonstrating his brain wave invention; laughs; parodying "[[w:Top Hat, White Tie and Tails|Top Hat, White Tie and Tails; dances to a techno music tune; lip noises; shuts off his machine and Stickley goes back to normal; gasping and laughing]
Fred Stickley
What the hell just happened?
Edward Nygma
A very surprising side effect! While you were mesmerized by my 3D TV...I utilized your neural energy to grow smarter.
[kisses his invention's helmet as he puts it back on the mannequin head]
Fred Stickley
Bruce Wayne was right! You demented, bizarre, unethical toad! It is brain manipulation! I'm reporting you to the FCC, the Human Experimentation Board, the AMI, and the police! You are going up on charges, to court, to jail, and then to a mental institution for the rest of your twisted little life! But first and foremost, Nygma, you are fired! Do you hear me?! FIRED!
[last words; Edward grabs the chair that Stickley is strapped to and drags it far to face the window]
Edward Nygma
Oh...I don't think so. HANG ON! Fred...BABE!...You are fired, or should I say...terminated? SURF'S UP, BIG KAHUNA! Oooooh, nice form, but a little rough on the landing. He may have to settle for the bronze! Questions, Mr. Wayne?! My work raises too many questions?! Why hasn't anybody...put you in your place?
[ominously; pushes Stickley's chair forward, sending it crashing through the window. Stickley dangles over the edge, with only the helmet's power cord, attached to the power grid, keeping from falling; rushes forward and grabs him; takes off the helmet and lets Stickley fall to his death; a splash is heard; laughs evilly; goes back to his workstation and goes up to the security camera monitoring it, speaking into it; covers the camera with his hand]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Role of Luck in Life's Inequities
Harvey Dent/Two-Face
One man is born a hero, his brother a coward. Babies starve, politicians grow fat. Holy men are martyred, and junkies grow legion. Why? Why why why why why why? Luck! Blind, stupid, simple, doo-dah, clueless luck!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acid as Entertainment in Batman Forever
Bank Guard
Oh no! It's boiling acid!
Two-Face
For your entertainment, we bring you the very acid that made us what we are today!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebration of Victory and Self-Affirmation
Edward Nygma/The Riddler
Oh my God, it's him! I am a winner. I am a winner. I am a winner. I am a winner. I am a winner.
[sees Bruce Wayne entering from cubicle; to himself]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Learning from Consequences
Edward Nygma/The Riddler
NO!! Don't kill him. If you kill him...he won't learn nothing.
[Two-Face is about to finish off Bruce Wayne]
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Impulse Control and Its Consequences
Edward Nygma/The Riddler
Has anybody ever told you you have a SERIOUS IMPULSE CONTROL PROBLEM?!?!
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Unexpected Introductions Between Villains
Two-Face
Ladies, you spoil us! We're of two minds about what to eat first. What?!
[Riddler enters behind him and loudly drives his cane into the floor]
The Riddler
I hope you made extra.
Two-Face
Who the hell are you?
The Riddler
Just a friend. But you can call me...the Riddler.
Two-Face
We'll call you dead, is more like it! How did you find us here?! Talk!
[grabs Riddler by the collar]
The Riddler
But then if I talked, what would keep you from slaying me, O Segregated One? By the way, that's never gonna heal if you don't stop picking.
[looks at Two-Face's disfigurement]
Two-Face
Oh? Let's see if you bleed green!
[puts a pistol to Riddler's head]
The Riddler
Harvey! I don't think it's me you really want to kill. That'd be too easy for someone as powerful as you...and you. But Batman... Now, there's a challenge! Kill the Bat! Sounds like a good idea! Just think of it, a few bullets hit home, a quick splash of blood, and then what? Wet hands...Post-homicidal depression. Why not humiliate him first, expose his frailties, and then when he's at his weakest...CRUSH HIM! I can see that...sparkle in your left eye. I can help you get Batman. That is, if you'll...spare my life for just a few moments.
[spice laughs mischievously; gasps; Two-Face feigns modesty; feigns whimpering; Two-Face chuckles; whispering]
Two-Face
Eh...
[cocks his head in amusement and puts his gun away; puts Riddler down]
The Riddler
Thank you. I simply love what you've done with this place. Heavy Metal meets House and Garden. Splendid! It's so dark and gothic and disgustingly decadent ...yet so bright and chipper and conservative! It's so you... And yet so you! Very few people are both a summer and a winter, but...you pull it off quite nicely.
[normal voice. Walks further into lair; laughs; takes one of his boxes and puts it on the dark side of the room; gestures Spice over with a snarl, then takes a box to the light side; urges Sugar over with a whistle. Back to the dark side; speaking sinisterly; to the light side, speaking operatic]
Two-Face
What's your point, big boy?
[shoots pistol at the ceiling, the bullet ricochets off-screen]
The Riddler
Has anybody ever told you you have a SERIOUS IMPULSE CONTROL PROBLEM?!?! This is the point. This is how I found you. Let me demonstrate. This is your brain on the Box! This is my brain on the Box! DOES ANYBODY ELSE FEEL LIKE A FRIED EGG?!?!
[Two-Face puts his gun back to Riddler's head; shows brainwave gadget; activates it; camera shows Sugar and Spice being entranced to brainwave machine; sticks gadget on Two-Face's forehead; Two-Face feels full power of the machine; sticks gadget on his forehead]
Two-Face
I'll have a bit more, thank you.
[reaches for the gadget, but Riddler pulls it away]
The Riddler
Oh, there's more, but only the first one's free. Here's the bargain: you will help me steal production capital, so I can put a Box on every TV in town and become Gotham's cleverest carbon-based lifeform! And in return... ...is everybody paying attention? I will help you solve the greatest riddle of all. The mother of all riddles! Who is...Batman?
[goes to Two-Face]
Two-Face
Hmm...You have broken into our hideout. You have violated the sanctity of our lair. For this we should crush your bones into powder. However, you do pose a very interesting proposition. Therefore, heads, we accept, and tails, we blow your damn head off!
[holds up his coin]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Unique Blend of Aesthetics and Personality
Edward Nygma/The Riddler
I simply love what you've done with the place. Heavy Metal meets House and Garden. Beautiful! It's so dark and gothic and disgustingly decadent ... yet so bright and chipper and conservative! It's so you... And yet so you! Very few people are both a summer and a winter, but... you pull it off quite nicely.
[laughs; Takes one of his boxes and puts it on the dark side of the room; Gestures Spice over with a snarl, then takes a box to the light side; Urges Sugar over with a whistle; Back to the dark side; speaking sinisterly''; to the light side, speaking operatic]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Riddler's Challenge to Batman
Edward Nygma/The Riddler
Riddle me this. Riddle me that. Who's afraid of the big black bat?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Two-Face's Reflection on Nobility and Stupidity
Harvey Dent/Two-Face
Oh, good boy. Good boy. The Bat has taught you very well to be noble. Stupid, but noble.
[After Robin saves him so he can be imprisoned; pulls out a hidden gun and points it at Robin's face]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Emotions vs. Justice in Friendship
Harvey Dent/Two-Face
Yes, of course you're right, Bruce. Emotions are always the enemy of true justice...thank you...you've always been a good friend.
[before falling to his death]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Need for Guidance in Revenge
Alfred Pennyworth
Young men with a mind for revenge need little encouragement. They need guidance. You, above all, should know the consequences of the life you choose.
[discussing Dick with Bruce]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.