Batman Quotes

Nick Don't kill me! Don't kill me, man! Don't kill me! Don't kill me, man!!

Batman I'm not gonna kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me.

Nick What ARE you?!

Batman I'm Batman.

Alfred I thought champagne would be in order, ma'am.

Vicki Hi, Alfred.

Alfred Mr. Wayne told me to tell you that he might be a little late.

Vicki I'm not a bit surprised...

The Joker/Jack Napier And now, folks, it's time for "Who do you trust!" Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I'm giving away free money. And where is the Batman? He's at home, washin his tights! Winged bat flies through the night and finds me ready. Bob, Mask. And now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But, as my plastic surgeon always said, If you've gotta go, go with a smile!

Taglines Only one will claim the night.

Batman Excuse me. You ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? I'm going to kill you!

Joker You idiot! You made me, remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try!

Batman I know you did. You killed my parents.

Joker Wha-What? What are you talking about?

Batman I made you; you made me first.

Joker Hey, bat-brain, I was a kid when I killed your parents! I mean, I say I made you, you've gotta say you made me...how childish can you get? You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you? Huh!?

The Joker So gentlemen, that's how it is. Until Grissom, uh, resurfaces, I'm the acting President, and I say starting with this anniversary festival, we run this city to the ground.

Gangster Why don't we hear this from Grissom?

Tony Yeah, and what's with that stupid grin?

The Joker Life's been good to me.

Tony What if we say "No"?

The Joker Well, Tony, nobody wants a war. And if we can't do business, why, we just shake hands and that'll be it.

The Joker/Jack Napier Winged freak terrorizes". Wait till they get a load of ME!

The Joker Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Bruce Wayne What?

The Joker I always ask that of all my prey. I just... like the sound of it.

Bruce What's on your mind, Alfred?

Alfred I have no wish to spend my few remaining years grieving for the loss of old friends. Or their sons.

The Joker/Jack Napier New and improved Joker products! With the new secret ingredient - Smylex! Now, let's go over to our blind taste test. Uh-oh. He don't look happy. He's been using Brand X! But with new and improved Joker brand...I get a grin, again and again! That luscious tan! Those ruby lips! And hair color so natural, only your undertaker knows for sure! I know what you're saying: Where can I get these fine new items? Well, that's the gag. Chances are, you've bought em already! So remember, put on a happy face!

The Joker/Jack Napier Batman? Batman? Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a bat gets all of my press?! This town needs an enema!

Taglines Justice is always Darkest before the Dawn.

Vicki Some people say that you're as dangerous as the Joker.

Batman He's psychotic.

Vicki There are some people who say the same thing about you.

Batman What people?

Vicki Well let's face it, you're not exactly..."normal", are you?

Batman It's not exactly a "normal" world, is it?

Vicki Hi. Tell me if I'm crazy. But that wasn't just another night for either of us, was it? I mean, we both got to each other, didn't we? Why won't you let me in? Why?

Bruce You got in.

Vicki I've loved you since I met you. But I don't know what to think of all this. I really don't.

Bruce Look, sometimes I don't know what to think about this. It's just something I have to do.

Vicki Why?

Bruce Because nobody else can. Look, I tried to avoid all this, but I can't. This is how it is. It's not a perfect world.

Vicki It doesn't have to be a perfect world. I just gotta know, are we going to try to love each other?

Bruce I'd like to. But he's out there right now. And I've got to go to work.

Harvey Dent We've received a letter from Batman this morning. "Please inform the citizens of Gotham that Gotham City has earned a rest from crime. But if the forces of evil should rise again to cast a shadow on the heart of the city, call me".

Alexander Knox Question: How do we call him?

Commissioner Gordon He gave us this ]!

Carl Grissom That you, sugar bumps? Who the hell are you?

The Joker It's me..."sugar bumps".

Carl Grissom Jack? Oh...thank God you're alive! I heard you'd been-

Carl Grissom Your life won't be worth SPIT!

The Joker I've been dead once already. It's very liberating. You should think of it as...therapy.

Carl Grissom Jack, listen. Maybe we can cut a deal.

The Joker Jack? Oh, Jack is dead, my friend. You can call me...Joker. And as you can see, I'm a lot happier! Ohh, what a day!