Batman (1966) - Quotes

Riddler: I see the way to do it. We'll play each of our treacherous trumps in one hand, and we'll do it right here.

Riddler: [to the Penguin] You and your trained exploding shark!

Penguin: Faugh, Quack! How should I know they'd have a can of shark-repellent Batspray handy? Why, you sniveling sardine!

Riddler: Why you pompous, puffed-up penguin!

Joker: [shakes their hands, and the two are electrified; Joker laughs manically, and shows he is wearing joy buzzers on his hands] Oh, friends, make peace. Have a shake on me. A joke a day keeps the gloom away!

Catwoman: [to her cat] Sic em, Hecate. Scratch out their eyes.

Penguin: Take away that ravenous panther!

Riddler: So help me, Catwoman, I'll feed him to the birds!

Joker: I'll incapacitate the beast with my trick confetti!

Catwoman: [scoffs as she picks up her cat] United Underworld? We're about as united as the members of the United World Headquarters on Gotham East River. What's the matter with you all?

Riddler: She's right. she's right! If we don't manage to somehow swallow our supercriminal pride, I'm afraid-

Penguin: Right, Mr. Riddler, quite right! We must hang together, or most assuredly we shall hang separately.

Joker: Oh, and what a pity that would be, on the eve of the greatest criminal coup anyone ever dreamed of!

Riddler: Aha! How did it go, Catwoman?

Catwoman: Purr-fectly, purr-fectly. In my disguise as Kitka, I penetrated their press conference. The fools are completely baffled.

Joker: Yes, but undrowned.

Catwoman: Yes, unfortunately. Batman's boots didn't even look damp! How's our prisoner? Still doesn't know he's been kidnapped?

Penguin: He hasn't the foggiest. He just keeps ringing for his confounded tea.

Pirate: Ahoy, Catwoman!

Miss Kitka: [slaps him] Imbecile, How many times have I told you? Never use my real name in public!

Commissioner Gordon: Penguin, Joker, Riddler...and Catwoman, too! The sum of the angles of that rectangle is too monstrous to contemplate.

Batman: We've been given the plainest warning. They're working together to take over-

Chief O'Hara: Take over what, Batman? Gotham City?

Batman: Any two of them would try that!

Commissioner Gordon: The whole country?

Batman: If it were three of them, I would say yes, but four? Their minimum objective must be...the entire world.

Gordon: Could be any one of them, but which one? W...Which ones?

Batman: Pretty fishy what happened to me on that ladder.

Gordon: You mean, where there's a fish, there could be a Penguin.

Robin: But wait, it happened at sea. See? "C" for Catwoman.

Batman: Yet, an exploding shark....was pulling my leg.

Gordon: The Joker!

O'Hara: All adds up to a sinister riddle. Riddle-er. Riddler?

Gordon: [exhales] Oh, a thought strikes me. So dreadful I scarcely dare give it utterance.

Batman: The four of them. Their forces combined....

Robin: Holy nightmare!

Miss Kitka: If you please, to take off the mask to give the better picture?

Commissioner Gordon: Great Scott! Batman take off his mask?

Chief O'Hara: The woman must be mad!

Batman: Please...Chief O'Hara...all of you. This young lady is a stranger to our shores. Her request is not unnatural, however, impossible to grant.

Miss Kitka: Impossible?

Batman: Indeed. If Robin and I were to remove our masks, the secret of our true identities would be revealed.

Commissioner Gordon: Completely destroying their value as ace crimefighters.

Chief O'Hara: Sure, ma'am. Not even Commisioner Gordon and meself know who they really are.

Robin: In fact, our own relatives we live with don't know.

Miss Kitka: But your so curious costumes...

Robin: Don't be put off by them, ma'am. Underneath this garb, we're perfectly ordinary Americans.

Miss Kitka: You are like the masked vigilantes in the Westerns, no?

Commissioner Gordon: Certainly not! Batman and Robin are fully deputized agents of the law.

Robin: Support your police! That's our message!

Batman: Well said, Robin...and no better way to end this press conference...thank you, and good day.

Batman: You there, Miss...

Miss Kitka: Comrade Kitayna Ireyna Tatanya Kerenska Alisoff. I am from the Moscow Bugle.

Narrator: This yacht is bringing a revolutionary scientific invention to Gotham City. On a peaceful afternoon motor ride, millionaire Bruce Wayne and his youthful ward Dick Grayson have been summoned back to Wayne Manor by an urgent but anonymous call for help; the invention AND its custodian are reported in grave danger aboard the yacht! Never ones to shirk responsibility, Bruce and Dick, with characteristic speed and resolve, descend promptly into The Batcave, and then, as they have done many times before, as BATMAN AND ROBIN, courageous warriors against crime, they are off once again to the rescue!

The Riddler: Question: Who's going to make the feathers fly and knock Batman and Robin out of the sky?

The Joker: [laughs] Have you heard this one? It'll KILL you, Batman!

Penguin: There are two eggs this wily bird is gonna scramble. Batman and Robin!

Catwoman: Penguin, you KNOW cats hate water!

Catwoman: I'll slip into something more comfortable while your cocoa is warming.

Catwoman: Nothing can stop us now.

Catwoman: Miss Kitka dies if you take one more step!

Catwoman: I say its crazy. But I say let's try it. We have to do something to get Batman out of the way!

Catwoman: Me-ow-oww.

Catwoman: Scratch out their eyes!

Catwoman: [meows; hisses] You're going to see the purr-fect crime, when I get Batman in my claws!

Robin: Holy jumble! Where's the hope of the world now?

Robin: Holy heartbreak! Miss Kitka!

Robin: Holy Captain Nemo!

Robin: Holy bikini, that was close!

Robin: Holy heart failure!

Robin: Holy Halloween!

Robin: Holy Polaris!

Robin: Holy nightmare!

Robin: Catwoman?!

Robin: Holy Sardine!

Batman: I will bash him brutally.

Batman: Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb...

Batman: Bon Voyage, Pussy.

Batman: They may be drinkers, Robin, but they're also human beings.

Batman: So it seems, loose to plague us with his criminal conundrums.

Batman: If Robin and I were to remove our masks, the secret of our true identities will be revealed.