Bedazzled (1967) - Quotes

Stanley: If you're the devil, why didn't you try that vicar over there?

Stanley: What a dreary thing to do - I hope you're proud of yourself.

George: It was pride that got me into this. I used to be an angel, you know - up in heaven.

Stanley: Oh yeah, you used to be God's favourite, didn't you?

George: That's right - "I Love Lucifer" it was in those days.

Stanley Moon: [realizes] Here, my ice lolly's melted! You really must be the Devil.

George Spiggott: Incarnate. How d'you do?

Stanley Moon: I thought you were called Lucifer.

George Spiggott: I know. "The Bringer of the Light" it used to be. Sounded a bit poofy to me.

Stanley Moon: You're a nutcase! You're a bleedin nutcase!

George Spiggott: They said the same of Jesus Christ, Sigmund Freud, and Galileo.

Stanley Moon: They said it of a lot of nutcases too!

George Spiggott: You're not as stupid as you look are you, Mr. Moon?

Stanley Moon: [reading the Faustian contract] I, Stanley Moon, hereinafter and in the hereafter to be known as "The Damned" - The damned?!

The Devil: [last lines; raging against God, who is laughing in triumph] All right, you great git, you've asked for it. I'll cover the world in Tastee-Freez and Wimpy Burgers. I'll fill it with concrete runways, motorways, aircraft, television, automobiles, advertising, plastic flowers, frozen food and supersonic bangs. I'll make it so noisy and disgusting that even you'll be ashamed of yourself. No wonder you've so few friends; you're unbelievable.

The Devil: [to Saint Peter; runs after Stanley] Tell God not to go away. I'll be back in a minute.

The Devil: I've done a good deed. I gave that little twit his soul back. Wasn't that generous?

The Devil: He's OMNIPRESENT. I'm just highly maneuverable.

The Devil: Just putting a tiny little ventilation hole in this oil tanker.

The Devil: Job was what you'd technically describe as a loony.

The Devil: Don't ever believe anything I've said; believe me.

The Devil: Everything I've ever told you has been a lie, including that.

The Devil: [spoken as a musical performer Drimble Wedge] You fill me with inertia.

The Devil: [[w:Profumo Affair|Profumo Affair] * In a reference to the ].

The Devil: [to Lust] Pick your clothes up. You're due down at the Foreign Office.

The Devil: [[Benito Mussolini|Mussolini] I lost ] that way, all that work, then right at the end with the rope around his neck, he says, Scusi. Mille regretti, and up he goes!

The Devil: [[Marcel Proust|Marcel Proust] In the words of ]; and this applies to any woman in the world. if you can stay up and listen with a fair degree of attention to whatever garbage, no matter how stupid it is, that they're coming out with, till ten minutes past four in the morning, you're in!

The Devil: [During a conversation about politics, a character with a severe speech impediment struggles to express a thought. He replies dismissively...] Well, that's easy for you to say.

The Devil: [to the pigeon, who is about to fly over a gentleman] Release your doo-dahs.

The Devil: [[Julie Andrews] And the magic word: ]!

The Devil: [while bargaining for Stanley's soul] What would you like to be? Prime Minister? Oh, no, wait, I've already signed that deal.

The Devil: * The latter also directed by Donen.

The Devil: [[w:Seven Brides for Seven Brothers|Seven Brides for Seven Brothers] It's the standard contract. Gives you seven wishes in accordance with the mystic rules of life. Seven Days of the Week, Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Seas, ]

The Devil: There was a time when I used to get lots of ideas; I thought up the Seven Deadly Sins in one afternoon. The only thing I've come up with recently is advertising.

The Devil: The garden of Eden was a boggy swamp just south of Croydon. You can see it over there.

The Devil: What terrible sins I have working for me. I suppose it's the wages.

The Devil: You realize that suicide's a criminal offence. In less enlightened times, they'd have hung you for it.

The Devil: Suicide, really - that's the last thing you should try.

The Devil: [walking in on Stanley Moon's failed attempt scuicide] Do hope this isn't an awkward moment.