Beethoven Quotes

Dr. Varnick Here for his shots?

George Yes.

Dr. Varnick Well, he'll be a little groggy this evening.

George That'll be nice.

Vernon Nice dog, huh, Doc? He's perfect for the animal experiment.

Dr. Varnick Get everything ready. I'll be by in the morning. We'll do the test on him first thing.

Harvey Sure thing.

Harvey Okay, good doggie. Good doggie. OK, close the door. Close the door.

Vernon I've got him. Come on!

Harvey Good doggie. Come here, doggie. Come on!

Harvey Okay, I got him. Good, good. I got him. Come on, doggie.

Vernon Not you! Not you! The dog!

Vernon Put him in. Okay, you got him? In the cage. Get in.

Vernon SHUT UP!! There. Doc will work on him first thing in the morning, and then he's one dead puppy.

George I really don't like our dog.

Alice I really don't like those people, George. I don't trust them. I don't want their money. I know my opinion doesn't matter, but I'm not interested in expanding. If I had been home instead of helping you impress those morons, Emily wouldn't have fallen in the pool. And I'm not re-entering the work force, George. You're gonna have to do this on your own. And you will. Somehow, you'll make your fortune. And tucked away behind you deep in the shadows will be me and the kids.

George That's how you see me. Suddenly, I'm a lousy husband and father. Everything was just fine until Beethoven came into our lives. I've tried to be patient, but I've had it. The dog has to go.

Alice I'm proud of Beethoven. Those two idiots insulted your kids, they treated me like dirt, and he was the only one of us who had the nerve to give them the ride they deserved. I'm going to bed.

George My dream is going down the drain, and you're worried about a dog.

Alice Your family's going down the drain, and you're worried about a dream.

Devonia Now, you were never in any real danger, now, were you? Now, we don't want you to get into trouble, so we'll let this be our little secret.

Ryce I'd like to call my mother, please.

Devonia Your mother?

Ryce Immediately.

Devonia She must've snuck out while I was watching Ted and Ryce. It was hot out, so I guess she wanted to take a little swim!

Alice And where were you while all this was happening?

Devonia I was where I was supposed to be: Inside, watching the other two. If Emily had stayed where I put her, none of this would've happened. If you ask me, what these children need is a little discipline.

Alice What these children need is their mother. You're fired.

George Honey, it was an accident!

Alice So what?

George We can't just throw out the option of having a babysitter just because we had a bad one. We'll find someone really responsible to look after the kids.

Alice Over my dead body.

George Oh, come on.

Alice George, come on. Beethoven isn't even remotely dangerous. He'd never hurt the kids. He might take a bite out of you, though.

George First snarl, first, any kind of weirdness and he's gone.

Alice Weirdness? What should I watch for, hon? Wearing my clothes around the house?

News Reporter In the third such occurance this month. In the past year, we've seen a 500% increase reporting innocence of stolen pets. Police believe in animal kidnapping ring is at work. That's Newsbreak, and now back to ].

Alice Do you hear something?

George No.

Alice I heard something downstairs.

George Newton This is ridiculous! It's a dog. He doesn't have preferences! You could call him Ding-Dong Head and he wouldn't know the difference.

George Newton No matter how many showers I take, I still smell Beethoven all over me.

Devonia You kids might be interested to know that I'm a featured performer Saturday nights at the Padded Zebra.

Ryce Oh, my gosh! Emily's in the pool!

Devonia The POOL?!!

Harvey I really don't like it when you tease the dogs.

Vernon What are you, some kind of animal lover?

Taglines He'll grow on you.

Alice I don't think words for parts of the body make very good names.

Emily He's got one of those, I looked.

Alice I'm sure he does. But I don't think Daddy would want to stand on the porch at night yelling that out.

Emily But that's what you call Uncle Richard.

Taglines The head of the family is the one with the tail.