32 quotes
Marty Wolf's Exclamation of Surprise
Marty Wolf
OH, MY GO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OD!!!!!!!!
[After seeing in his mirror, his whole body is blue; screams in horror]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Real Tears and Bad Acting
Franklin "Frank" Jackson
Who's the bad actor now, Wolf?! Those were real tears!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Demand for Destruction and Understanding
Kaylee
I want to see a broken man, people. I mean broken as in, I hit a baseball through the window broken. Snap him like a twig! Squeeze him like a bug! I want you to turn him into mince meat, and I don't even know what mince meat is!! I want him to cry for his mommy! "WAH! WAH! Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" Do you read me? Cos I don't think you read me!
Jason
I think they read you.
Kaylee
Fair enough.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reaction to a Surprising Name Mentioned
Franklin "Frank" Jackson
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Did you just say "Marty Wolf"?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Survival of the Fittest in a Tough World
Marty Wolf
Grow up, Shepherd! This is ], baby. It's a dog-eat-dog town. Worse. We got cats eatin cats. We got fish munchin fish. We play by our own rules.
[[Hollywood]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Marty Wolf's Threat to Shepherd
Marty Wolf
I'm gonna GET YOU, SHEPHERD!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Communication Breakdown on Set
Jaleel White
Listen, Whitaker, I'm not your sister, I'm not your girlfriend, and I'm not your priest. So, if you wanna remain my partner, I got two words for you, shut the heck up! You talk way too much! OK, can we cut? Can we... cause this, this ain't workin for me at all. What are you doing? are you fumigating me or something?!
[on the set of Whitaker and Fowl, talking to his co-star, a chicken]
Marty
Move!
Producer
Moving.
Marty
Why did you call "Cut!"? I did not tell you to stop acting, Urkel!
Jaleel
Wolf, how many times have I told you? Stop callin me Urkel! My name is Jaleel White, okay? Urkel was a character I played when I was a child!
Marty
Okay, "Jaleel"! What's the problem, huh?
Jaleel
You want to know the problem? You wanna know the problem? I'm getting nothing from the chicken, that's the problem. He just sits there with his head all slumped over. I have absolutely no idea what my motivation is!
Marty
Okay, well you're a police officer named Fowl.
Jaleel
Mmm-hmmm.
Marty
Your new partner is a crime-fighting chicken named Whitaker. And your motivation is a nice fat pay check that's keeping you from working at the drive-thru window at McDonald's!
Jaleel
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa! Watch yourself, Wolf, watch yourself!
Marty
No, you watch yourself, pal! You're just lucky I'm not making you wear the freaky glasses and suspenders.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Claiming Ownership of Creativity
Jason Shepherd
See it? I think I WROTE it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Truth is Overrated
Marty Wolf
You can take it from me, the truth, it's overrated.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Marty Wolf Invites to Dance
Marty Wolf
]" by ].] Let's dance, Funnybones!
[Picking up his stuffed monkey while dancing to "[[w:Hungry Like the Wolf|Hungry Like the Wolf; [w:Duran Duran|Duran Duran]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Aspirations of Adventure and Excitement
Marty Wolf
Let's punch a hole in the sky, Grandpa, Go, GO, GOOOOH!!! Let's get a tail wind behind this bird, old-timer.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Lies with Passionate Outburst
Jason Shepherd
(screaming at the TV during an interview with Marty Wolf) Yeah, from my BACKPACK, YOU LOSER!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Former Driver Reflects on Past Employment
Franklin "Frank" Jackson
Know him?! I used to drive him. He fired me last year.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Threat of False Accusations in Filmmaking
Marty Wolf
Kid, if you do this, I'll tell them you wrote Big Fat Liar, Erin Brockovich, and Saving Private Ryan too.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Meeting Conflicts Between Monty and Marty
Marty
I can't make it to the meeting, Monty; I'm ].
[[blue]
Monty
Oh, I'm sorry you're upset.
Marty
No, I mean it… and I have ]…
[[orange]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Request to Release the Monkey
Marty
Let go of the monkey.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Deceit in Relationships
Kaylee
But you are a liar.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Accusation of Story Theft
Jason Shepherd
So you admit you stole my story.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Consequences of a Phone Call
Jason
How bout that phone call, Wolf? Should be easy, since your ear-piece is super-glued to your ]!
[[ear]
Marty
You did this?!
Jason
Call my Dad.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Marty Wolf's Moment of Action
Marty Wolf
It's showtime.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Playful Exchange Between Marty and Grandma
Marty
Up y'r a––s, "Grandma"!
Grandma
Up yours, Blue Boy!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Creative Filmmaking Ideas and Consequences
Dusty
I told you, Wolf. The only way to make this picture is to have twelve different camera angles with birds flying around. Oh, and by the by, Confucius say, uh... KA-STANG! You're busted!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Confirmation of the Meanest Man
Jason Shepherd
I think we can confirm here we're dealing with THE MEANEST MAN ALIVE!
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Marty Wolf's Defiant Ultimatum
Marty Wolf
Hey, where do you think you're going? YOU CANNOT TURN YOUR BACKS ON ME! I'M MARTY WOLF!! All right, fine! FINE! YOU'RE ALL FIRED!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confirmation of Identities in a Conversation
Kaylee
Marty Wolf Pictures?
[in mock-Texan accent]
Astrid Barker
Yes.
Kaylee
Astrid Barker?
Astrid Barker
Yes.
Kaylee
Ah'm sorry t say, yer car is parked onna dawg.
Astrid Barker
My car… is parked on a ]?! .
[[dog; Exit Astrid]
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Free Drinks at the Beach
Kaylee
Jas?
Jason
I'm at the beach! Hey, Frank; Mr. Stroog. Meet us at the theater gate in 20.
[on the phone]
Kaylee
Hey. What's with the Cokes?
Jason
The machine! It's rigged! THEY'RE FREE, HAHAHA, THEY'RE FREE!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Marty Wolf's Unique Abbreviation for a Lie
Marty Wolf
Big Fat Liar. B.F.L. "Biffle", as it’s come to be known.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Father’s Emergency and a Student’s Excuse
Jason
Ms. Caldwell-- Can I call you Phyllis?
Phyllis
No.
Jason
Understood. But, as much as I wanted to write my paper, I mean I really really wanted to write my paper, I couldn't and it's because I spent all last night in Greenbury General Emergency room. See, my mom made Swedish meatballs for dinner. It's my dad's favorite and he was so excited he accidentally swallowed one whole. It was awful. He started choking, his face turned purple. The meatball was literally bulging out of his neck. We rushed to the ER. I kept trying to write my paper in the waiting room but it was too hard. I needed to be by my father's side. After all, he's the only dad I got.
Phyllis
You are lying through your teeth, you little demon.
[suspicious]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Value of Truth in Perspective
Jason Shepherd
The truth, it's not overrated.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings and Obligations Among Friends
Frank
Fur coat king of the Midwest, my butt! I got some R-rated dialogue for you, but I'm gonna keep it PG. I'm gonna keep it PG. You owe me $100 for yesterday's ride.
Kaylee
Well, maybe we--
Frank
You almost cost me my job.
Jason
Frank, I'm sorry. I can explain.
Frank
Azitatatatatata! Ya hear that?
[imitates a car engine stalling]
Jason
I just--
Frank
Azitatatatatatata!
Kaylee
If we could--
Frank
I don't wanna hear it, okay?
Kaylee
I know, I just--
Frank
Azita, azitatatatata!
Jason
If you just--
Frank
Azita, azitatatatata!
Kaylee
I--
Frank
Azita!
Kaylee
I--
Frank
Azita! Azitatatatatatatata!
Jason
I'm sorry. It's just we came out here to get even with this guy Marty Wolf. Because he... he stole my ]...
[[story]
Frank
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Jason
And he's making it into this big movie.
Frank
Did you just say "Marty Wolf"?
Jason
Yeah, you know him?
Frank
Know him? I used to drive him. He fired me last year.
Kaylee
Why?
Frank
I'm an actor, see? Right? And I made the mistake of asking him if I could audition for one of his movies. He could've said "No" and not let me audition, right? But instead, he takes my headshot, writes "Loser" across my forehead, and then faxes it to every casting director in town.
[shows a photo of himself]
Kaylee
You poor thing.
Frank
If you guys wanna mess with Wolf, I got your back.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Maintaining a PG Rating in Dialogue
Franklin "Frank" Jackson
I got some R-rated dialogue for you. But I'm a-keep it PG. I'm gonna keep it PG.
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Urgency in the Face of Inaction
Marty Wolf
You can take your personal day in a year or two when you're DEAD, you DINOSAUR!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.