Black Sheep Quotes

Mike Yea! Kill ]!

Rastafarian No! No! No!

Mike And so he says, "Rectum? Damn near killed'em!

Steve Check it out. This fridge is only being held by this plug.

Steve Mike... Are you okay?

Mike I'm just dandy! I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!

Steve We didn't have any pudding in there, buddy.

Mike Please move away from this vector and get into another coordinate pronto. There's no access for you in this quadrant.

Teen Man, why don't you goose-step on down to the women and children over there and give them your little power trip, because they may be impressed by it, asshole!

Mike Young fella, I'm gonna twist off your head and spike it onto the floors of a nightmare you can't even imagine! I will dance with you inside of the six-sided ring of fire, unless you move from this area, far and fast, NOW!

Steve This is great. I never win at checkers.

Mike Yes, well, it's kinda easy to win when you, um.... NEVER MOVE YOUR BACK ROW!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mike Voting kicks ass right! Cause, uh, if voting kicks ass, and Al Donnelly kicks ass, and you put them both together and you got yourself some kick ass shit!

Steve ... But, this map is heavy... It's got all of those... robes on it. Robes? Rogues?

Mike Roads!

Steve, Mike Aahahahaha!

Mike I'm ]... so are you!

Mike Dammit! The nitrous oxide's leaking into the car! OK, calm down... we just gotta keep under the speed limit... limit...

Mike Limit! Haha, that's another one of those freaky words!

Mike There's no access for you in this quadrant.

Mike Boy, I could sure use some cupcakes or peanut butter cups right now.

Governor Tracy I have heard the voice of the voters and the voters said...

Governor Tracy ...Holy Shit!

Mike We've all been screwed by Governor Tracy, and now, I'm going to screw her!

Steve What the heck is that?

Mike Ah! It's ]!

Mike Oh, thank you, little roots! Please stay strong What in the hell was that all about!?

Mike That's one small step for man! One giant... I have a dream!

Steve Row-ads. Roods.

Steve This guy is like ], ], and ] all rolled into one.

Mike What the hell was that?

Steve A chunk in the road or something.

Mike I just chunked in my pants.

Mike Hi there, this is Mike Donnelly. I work over here at the recreational center. To be honest with you I pretty much run the place ha, ha, ha. Is this ah Pat Gyles? Good, Good. Hey, hope everything's going great in your fine town of er Avery? Atwood! Ha, ha, ha. Say, the reason I'm calling is I wanted to tell you a little bit about the candidacy of Al Donnelly. Al Donnelly's a guy with a dream. His dream is to become governor of this great state of Washington. Hell, every guy's got his dream, am I right? Between you, me and the wall here, I had a doozy myself last night. Ha ha, ha, ha. Get this: A corn-fed harvest mouse, a ], a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles, yo-yo's, a circus midget. My grandmother riding by on a ] giving me the finger, and a ]! Now, I don't know ha, ha, ha. Are you crying? Oh my lord. I am sorry, ], please don't! Could you get your daddy on the phone. No, don't hang up please I...

Steve Are you or are you not the Black Angel of Death?

Steve Ro-ads. Roods.

Mike Quiet back there! I've taken enough guff from you for one day! Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to ] where he's wanted for banging ]!

Motorcycle Cop Could you take him through here a little faster than seven miles per hour, Officer...

Mike Meoff, Jack.

Drake I'm not far from dragging you out of the car and beating you to dust.

Steve You should work up to that, kinda leaves you nowhere to go.

Mike Whoa, what happened to you? Did you fall into some mud or something?

Steve Yeah, I did. And I'm going to be rich because I'm the only person on earth who knows where you can find white mud.

Motorcycle Cop Tell me, officer, do you have any idea how fast you were going?

Mike Well, I got a 426 hemi here, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters, I can get er up to as good as 155! Never do, though, of course, unless I'm chasing a cute ] in a Ferrari! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I guess I was goin about... 65, tops.

State Trooper Seven. Seven miles an hour. And normally, when I stop people, they pull onto the shoulder.

Governor Tracy Now you'll have to tell me your name so I know who to make the check out to.

Clyde My best friends call me "Cash.