Black Sheep (1996) - Quotes

Drake: I'm not far from dragging you out of the car and beating you to dust.

Steve: You should work up to that, kinda leaves you nowhere to go.

Steve: Ro-ads. Roods.

Mike: [''turns to state trooper''; [Nevada; [horses] Quiet back there! I've taken enough guff from you for one day! Raving psycho! Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to ] where he's wanted for banging ]!

Motorcycle Cop: Tell me, officer, do you have any idea how fast you were going?

Mike: [[woman|chick] Well, I got a 426 hemi here, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters, I can get er up to as good as 155! Never do, though, of course, unless I'm chasing a cute ] in a Ferrari! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I guess I was goin about... 65, tops.

State Trooper: Seven. Seven miles an hour. And normally, when I stop people, they pull onto the shoulder.

Mike: [''dressed as security guard''] Please move away from this vector and get into another coordinate pronto. There's no access for you in this quadrant.

Teen: Man, why don't you goose-step on down to the women and children over there and give them your little power trip, because they may be impressed by it, asshole!

Mike: Young fella, I'm gonna twist off your head and spike it onto the floors of a nightmare you can't even imagine! I will dance with you inside of the six-sided ring of fire, unless you move from this area, far and fast, NOW!

Mike: What the hell was that?

Steve: A chunk in the road or something.

Mike: I just chunked in my pants.

Governor Tracy: Now you'll have to tell me your name so I know who to make the check out to.

Clyde: My best friends call me "Cash.

Motorcycle Cop: Could you take him through here a little faster than seven miles per hour, Officer...

Mike: [''turns to Steve and mouths "Jack Meoff"''] Meoff, Jack.

Mike: Whoa, what happened to you? Did you fall into some mud or something?

Steve: Yeah, I did. And I'm going to be rich because I'm the only person on earth who knows where you can find white mud.

Steve: What the heck is that?

Mike: [[Ozzy Osbourne] Ah! It's ]!

Mike: [''cheering on Rock the Vote Crowd''; [white people|whitey] Yea! Kill ]!

Rastafarian: No! No! No!

Governor Tracy: I have heard the voice of the voters and the voters said...

Governor Tracy: ...Holy Shit!

Steve: [''completely doped on nitrous oxide''] ... But, this map is heavy... It's got all of those... robes on it. Robes? Rogues?

Mike: [''also stoned; giggling''] Roads!

Steve, Mike: Aahahahaha!

Mike: [''suddenly stops laughing''; [substance intoxication|stoned] I'm ]... so are you!

Mike: [''starts giggling again''] Dammit! The nitrous oxide's leaking into the car! OK, calm down... we just gotta keep under the speed limit... limit...

Mike: Limit! Haha, that's another one of those freaky words!

Steve: [''pulls plug out; fridge rolls toward Mike, crashing into him, running him into a wall''] Check it out. This fridge is only being held by this plug.

Steve: Mike... Are you okay?

Mike: I'm just dandy! I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!

Steve: We didn't have any pudding in there, buddy.

Steve: This is great. I never win at checkers.

Mike: Yes, well, it's kinda easy to win when you, um.... NEVER MOVE YOUR BACK ROW!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve: [''trying to pronounce "roads"''] Row-ads. Roods.

Steve: Are you or are you not the Black Angel of Death?

Steve: [''on Drake Sabitch''; [The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (franchise)|Leatherface; [Child's Play#Chucky|Chucky; [The Brady Bunch|Jan Brady] This guy is like ], ], and ] all rolled into one.

Mike: [''holding onto a small plant on a steep hill''; ''Root quickly gives and Mike falls to the foot of the mountain''] Oh, thank you, little roots! Please stay strong What in the hell was that all about!?

Mike: Boy, I could sure use some cupcakes or peanut butter cups right now.

Mike: We've all been screwed by Governor Tracy, and now, I'm going to screw her!

Mike: And so he says, "Rectum? Damn near killed'em!

Mike: [''on stage making a fool of himself''] That's one small step for man! One giant... I have a dream!

Mike: [''on stage making a fool of himself''] Voting kicks ass right! Cause, uh, if voting kicks ass, and Al Donnelly kicks ass, and you put them both together and you got yourself some kick ass shit!

Mike: There's no access for you in this quadrant.

Mike: [''talking on the phone''; [hooker; [bicycle; [duck; [girl|honey] Hi there, this is Mike Donnelly. I work over here at the recreational center. To be honest with you I pretty much run the place ha, ha, ha. Is this ah Pat Gyles? Good, Good. Hey, hope everything's going great in your fine town of er Avery? Atwood! Ha, ha, ha. Say, the reason I'm calling is I wanted to tell you a little bit about the candidacy of Al Donnelly. Al Donnelly's a guy with a dream. His dream is to become governor of this great state of Washington. Hell, every guy's got his dream, am I right? Between you, me and the wall here, I had a doozy myself last night. Ha ha, ha, ha. Get this: A corn-fed harvest mouse, a ], a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles, yo-yo's, a circus midget. My grandmother riding by on a ] giving me the finger, and a ]! Now, I don't know ha, ha, ha. Are you crying? Oh my lord. I am sorry, ], please don't! Could you get your daddy on the phone. No, don't hang up please I...