Friend or Foe: A Question of Trust
Hymie Kaplan:
Friend or foe?
Arnold:
Guess.
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Preparing for the Cannonball Run Challenge
Jill:
You know, Marcie, we've got this routine down.
Marcie:
Yeah. I think we're ready for the Cannonball.
Jill:
Oh, I think so. How far is Redondo beach?
Marcie:
150 miles.
Jill:
Hah. An hour flat.
Marcie:
What're we waiting for?
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A Reunion Between Old Friends
Captain Chaos:
J.J. ... Long time, no see.
J.J. McClure:
Nice to see you, Captain Chaos.
Captain Chaos:
Have no fear, "Him" is here.
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Collaboration Leads to Humorous Insight
Tony:
We've put our heads together, and we've decided we're gonna rip off the Arab, on the road, during the car race.
Don Don Canneloni:
Oh, you put your heads together, huh? IT MUST'VE SOUNDED LIKE A BOWLING ALLEY.
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A Memorable Weekend Adventure Awaits
Jill:
Aw, come on. It'll be a weekend you'll never forget.
Mechanic:
All three of us?
Marcie:
It's gonna be a weekend you can tell your kids about. If they're all boys.
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Misunderstanding the Blimp's Driver
Blake:
Is the Blimp driving?
Fenderbaum:
No, it's the General.
Blake:
The General? Oh, I'm gonna make a private outta him.
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Tool for Every Problem
Marcie:
Does it look bad?
Mack:
Not from where I'm standing.
Jill:
Oh, can you fix it then?
Mack:
Honey, I've got a tool that'll fix anything.
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Discussion on an Actor's Career Status
King:
How come you have a blond, blue-eyed slave?
Shiek:
He's an actor. Hasn't had a series in seven years.
The Slapper:
Nine.
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Fear and Submission Amidst Uncertainty
Blake:
We're gonna die. We're gonna die, we're gonna die. What do you think they're gonna do to us?
Fenderbaum:
I don't know what they're gonna do to you, but since Mr. T ain't here, I'll be too busy licking their boots to see.
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Nuclear Meltdown Excuse in Connecticut Transport
CHP Officer:
What are you boys trying to pull?
J.J. McClure:
There's been a nuclear meltdown and we're transporting some contaminated materials to Connecticut.
CHP Officer:
Well, why Connecticut?
J.J. McClure:
They ran out.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous Exchange on Costumed Characters
Fenderbaum:
It's General Patton and general admission.
J.J. McClure:
Heckle and Jeckle dressed as cops. They oughta arrest their minds for vagrancy.
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Canneloni Family's Past Power and Preferences
Don Canneloni:
In the past, the Canneloni family was the most powerful of the families. We controlled drugs, prostitution, extortion, prostitution, gambling...
Slim:
Uh, you said "prostitution" twice.
Don Canneloni:
Well, I like it.
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Wishing for Luck in Competition
Shiek:
Here is to good luck. May it all be mine.
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Aunt Millie's Vow and Headaches Explained
Victor Prinzi:
My Aunt Millie took a vow of chastity. She had headaches allllll the time.
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