Career Opportunities (1991) - Quotes

Maximum Comedy at Minimum Wage

Taglines: Maximum comedy at minimum wage!

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Unexpected Success in Unlikely Circumstances

Taglines: He took the job that no one wanted...and got the girl that everyone did.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Seeking Adventure Beyond Boundaries

Josie McClellan: Would you go with me somewhere?

Jim Dodge: Where?

Josie McClellan: Florida. Wyoming, Spain. It doesn't really matter, just away somewhere.

Jim Dodge: I'd love to. I just can't afford to be... capricious and carefree like yourself. I... I... I got to set my sights on something and then really go for it.

Josie McClellan: Like janitor?

Jim Dodge: It's a beginning. I... I'm looking at...

Josie McClellan: It's an end.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Reflections on High School Experiences

Jim Dodge: I look at my high school yearbook, and I don't see four fabulous years. Actually, what I'm reminded of, is what it feels like to have my underwear yanked up my ass by some big football player with arms like telephone poles.

Josie McClellan: Okay, and where are those guys now?

Jim Dodge: [self-effacing; aiming a playful slap at her shoulder] I know they're not working nights at Target, I can tell you that.

Josie McClellan: [laughs] Yeah, you know, I look at my yearbook, and I see four fabulous years... that are gonna be the highlight of my life.

Jim Dodge: Here's what it's like. First, you feel a hand going down the back of your pants, and tighten around the elastic waistband, and then...

Josie McClellan: Highlight.

Jim Dodge: Sometimes I'd actually see stars.

Josie McClellan: [muttering to herself] It's not gonna get any better.

Jim Dodge: And if I was particularly unlucky, my shorts would, like, rip completely free, and I would get this really drastic fabric...

Josie McClellan: [bothered] Do you hear me?

Jim Dodge: Yeah.

Josie McClellan: I don't really care about a graphic description of a childhood prank.

Jim Dodge: Hey, that prank was a motif in my life.

Josie McClellan: [scoffs] You know, I'm... locked... in this store here... because I didn't have the guts to steal a skirt so that I could get arrested and embarrass my father in this... this stupid, desperate, childish, pathetic attempt to leave home. You have your underwear yanked up your ass. I have my entire life yanked up my ass!

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Unlikely Confessions of Two Unique Characters

Josie McClellan: I don't think you see what I'm getting at.

Jim Dodge: I see what you're getting at. I'm a lying monk with an Oedipus complex and an appetite for home cooking. Don't forget, you are the indecisive shoplifter.

Josie McClellan: [elated jump] Yes! Exactly! I would do anything to be in your shoes.

Jim Dodge: These are Darnell's shoes.

Josie McClellan: You know, you have freedom, and you're not using it. It makes me sad.

Jim Dodge: Well, you have the collective wealth of the entire town, and you're trying to get yourself arrested, now that makes me sad.

Josie McClellan: It makes me sad too.

Jim Dodge: It's pretty stupid.

Josie McClellan: It's very stupid.

Jim Dodge: Are you serious? I mean, you haven't been drinking? This isn't the bottle talking?

Josie McClellan: No.

Jim Dodge: Then why don't you just talk to the guy?

Josie McClellan: For the same reason you can't leave home. I can't tell my father to go to hell.

Jim Dodge: Why not?

Josie McClellan: Because I don't want to be alone.

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Dreams and Aspirations in Youthful Conversations

Jim Dodge: I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I've had dreams about you.

Josie McClellan: You've had dreams about me?

Jim Dodge: [defensively:; shaking his head; laughs] Not recently. I've had... dreams about you in the past. I've had dreams about entire cheerleading squads, don't get me wrong. Kid's stuff, you know. How about you?

Josie McClellan: Do I dream? It's about all I do.

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Struggles of Happiness and Perception

Josie McClellan: And you're happy, you know. You're happy.

Jim Dodge: I'm not happy. I'm working nights, everybody thinks I'm a liar, my whole family's laughing at me... Reverand Harwell gave me the finger last week!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Debate on Store Cleanliness and Time Management

Josie McClellan: [after eating dinner] Shouldn't you be cleaning up the store?

Jim Dodge: [puffing cigar] I've got plenty of time.

Josie McClellan: It's a big store.

Jim Dodge: Huge.

Josie McClellan: Always smoke cigars?

Jim Dodge: I enjoy a good one after a fine meal. It settles the stomach.

Josie McClellan: You're the town liar, right?

Jim Dodge: What?

Josie McClellan: I'm sorry, that... ah, that really came out wrong.

Jim Dodge: As if something like that could come out right.

Family Problems and Perspectives on Parenting

Officer Don: Mr. McClellan, do you ever have any family problems, you and your daughter?

Roger Roy McClellan: What the hell do you think he is?

Officer Don: You got a point.

Foot Talking Humor in Career Opportunities Scene

Gil Kinney: You know, if my foot could talk...

Nestor Pyle: Easy...

Gil Kinney: ...it would say, "May I please go up this geek's ass?!

Conflict Over Living Arrangements

Jim Dodge: I'm getting a feeling that you want me out of your life.

Bud Dodge: I don't want you out of my life, I want you out of my house.

A Humorous Exchange on Work Ethic

Custodian: Are you a slacker?

Jim Dodge: No... Presbyterian actually.

Custodian: What did you say? What did you say? Now I'm asking you a simple question: Are you lazy?

Beauty and Deception in Small Town Life

Jim Dodge: [to himself] She's so beautiful. And I'm the town liar.

Expectations of Pleasure and Danger

Jim Dodge: Any little fraulein who expects anything more from me than a little bit of pleasure, a little bit of danger, and a great set of pectorals, she's looking for a fall right on her ass.